I do not own Hetalia!
This happens if you talk on the internet with someone you cannot see and start speaking about the idiocy of your friends. Now I write a short drabble over cannibalism problems in F.A.C.E. Great, just great. Anyway, enjoy.
Canada sat in the living room of his American brother, staring unseeingly at the wall. His body hurt, at the same time he felt he just felt as if he'd gone to a four star restaurant and eaten the best they had on the menu. It was a feeling he almost forgot, the last case of it was a long time ago, but something gruesome like this could not be forgotten that easily.
Alfred entered the room with a worried frown. He may not be the best brother up to date because he forgot Canada quite often, considering they were brothers, at least, but he knew when something was wrong with his brother.
"What's wrong, Mattie?" he asked and pulled the second largest country of the world successfully out of his thoughts.
"Ah, I was just thinking," Canada whispered in his typical manner, but America didn't buy it for one second.
"About what?" he asked and finally saw a small grimace making its way onto his brother's face.
"The good old problems every nation had one time or another," the nearly invisible nation sighed.
"Mon dieu!" a French accent exclaimed and in all his … naked … glory France entered the room, followed by England, who yelled at the Frenchman to put clothes on. It was a long time ago, that the other two occupants of the room, who were there before France entered, agreed with England, but at the moment they nodded along. "Mattie, I've heard that you have the same problem as me?"
The American was as clueless as ever, while England grimaced in sympathy and disgust at the same rate.
"If you are talking about this absolutely disgusting sensation I feel right now, you can bet on it," Matthew said in his quiet voice.
"What are you talking about?" America interrupted. Canada and France stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. As such a large country with a lot of 'special' citizens he should know what they were talking about. It was not like his criminal record was good and he had a lot of fascinating murder here, even their problem occurred here more often than in any other country.
England meanwhile just face-palmed, but gave none the less an answer, "Cannibalism, you bloody wanker."
America's mouth formed an "O"-shape. "Oh, dude, I just had a case last week. Nasty thing that. Feels like heaven and hell combined. Don't ever know if I should encourage people to do it because I like it or to stop them. If it wouldn't hurt as much I'd think I could enjoy it quite much."
Again England's head met his palm in a harsh gesture. France and Canada levelled their "You've-grown-a-second-head-look" up to "You're-bloody-insane!-Tell-me-how-I've-missed-it-for-so-long!".
America was as clueless as ever while he blathered on and on about the case from last week and going finally completely of tangent. In the end nobody even remembered what the conversation was about in the beginning and even France's not-so-much-existing clothing at the moment was forgotten.