Chapter 1 – Questions

I spent another restless night in New Jersey as I lay in bed. For the past week or so, I couldn't sleep through the night. I'd wake up with a sinking feeling in my stomach. It could have been several things that had been on my mind lately like college, my period being late or that Harry and Tom were coming to visit for a day or two and then we were heading to England for two months.

Tom called me when he read the letter and apologized again. Not much had been accomplished with it beside the fact that we would talk every other night for a week. Touring got crazy and he met other girls that he didn't want me to know about. We weren't dating and we were barely friends. But that was two months ago. Two months ago it was April, spring break. Now it's June which means summer break. Things with Tom could change. We now had time to get to know each other and in my mind, get back together.

College was driving me insane just as Harry and Tom's homecoming was. I had been accepted to two colleges close by in New Jersey and one in New York City after going to two years of community college. I was leaning towards staying home and commuting to one of the schools close by. Time was running out to register at the schools and I hadn't made up my mind just yet. Something was telling me to wait to make my decision.

I wasn't too worried about my period being late. For me, it was normal because I have an irregular cycle. It usually skips a month or two but if it didn't come within the next week I would start to panic. Maybe I'm just over reacting at the same time. I was very active athletically during the past few months playing soccer. I just needed to wait and see what happens.

But as I lay in bed tonight the sinking feeling got even worse. It wasn't as if I was nervous or anxious about anything, not even the fact the boys were coming to visit. I felt like I was going to be sick. I got enough strength to go to my bathroom. I sat down on the lilac bath mat with my hand on my stomach to soothe myself. I leaned back against the tub. I had no idea why I felt sick. I hadn't eaten anything under cooked that could make me sick. I started to feel worse as I sat there so I opened the toilet and leaned my head over. That's when it came up. Everything I had eaten in the last three hours came up. Why was I throwing up? I hadn't thrown up in two years. I wasn't one to be sick.

I cleaned off my face and flushed the toilet. I looked in the mirror. My face was pale and I hardly recognized myself. Something poked in the back of my mind, something that had the answers to all my questions. I opened up the mirrored cabinet and grabbed the two tiny boxes. I took the contents out and laid them on the counter. I read and followed the directions. I placed the contents back on the counter and waited. Minutes go by fast unless you stare at the clock. The minutes I watched slowly tick by. At the end of the wait, I looked at the answer to the main question: yes.

I crawled back into bed and placed my hand over my stomach. I had to call someone. I leaned over my nightstand. I grabbed my cell phone taking it off the charger. I flipped through my phone book stopping on Harry's number. I pressed call and waited for him to pick up as I listened to the dial tone.

"Hey, angel, what are you doing up so late at night?" Harry's voice sang in my ear. I never realized what time it was. I glanced over at the clock. It was three New York time, which meant it was 12 midnight California time.

I heard Harry's question but didn't respond. "I'm pregnant." I heard myself say the words but didn't want to believe them. I couldn't help it; tears poured out of my eyes.

There was silence on the other end until I heard a click in the background. "What? How? Kayleigh…" he couldn't even finish his sentence.

"You know how, Harry. What am I going to do? What is Tom going to say?"

"Are you sure it's Tom's baby?"

This made me mad. "Of course it's Tom's baby. He's the only one I've been with. What am I going to do?" I asked through angry sobs.

"Kay, relax. Don't worry about it right now. Get some sleep and we'll talk about this tomorrow. Everything's going to be okay. I love you."

I swallowed the rest of my tears so I could talk. "I love you too." I waited until I heard him say good-night to hang up.

Thoughts ran through my mind. How was Tom going to act? What should I do? But none of those questions could be answered. I tossed and turned trying to answer them until I got too tired to think and fell fast asleep.