A/n: This is a Story I've been working on for quite awhile and it will probably be the first in a series. Its pretty much AU though it does still include some of the story lines from the show. It Starts from where Whisper to a Scream finished.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Scars By Papa Roach.

This story will involve Descriptions of Self Injury. If you Don't like, don't Read.

Scars

Prologue

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut,
My weakness is that I care too much.
And my scars remind me that the past is real,
I tear my heart open just to feel.

Her feet pounded the sidewalk as she ran. Dull thuds echoed though the empty night as her heavy black boots collided with the tarmac. Her vivid red hair held in two messy plaits bounced on her back with each step.

Ellie Nash wasn't your average fifteen year old. She was Determined, Unique and Alternative, with a distinct liking of the colour black. She was often teased for her unique ways, but it was something she had become accustomed to over the years and it didn't really bother her anymore. Ellie knew she'd rather be herself and than fall in line with the other girls around her. One thing that defiantly didn't bother Ellie was other people's opinions of her, she was herself and she was happy to let other people see that. In fact two of the only things which truly bothered Ellie were the two big secrets she kept. One was lying on the sofa of her house and the other was hidden by a well placed mixture of arm warmers and black mesh.

Reaching her house, she climbed the steps to the heavy oak front door, opening it carefully she slipped inside breathing deeply and leaning on the door frame as she recovered from the short run. She let out a sigh she had been keeping held in and paused, still lent on the door frame listening to the silence of the house. She liked the silence, stillness. She opened her eyes and stepped away from the door, taking her coat off as she did. She placed it on its usual peg before turning to the door to her right. She paused briefly once more and took a deep breath before pushing the door open quietly.

As she glanced into the dingy dull room she had to hold herself back from coughing and spluttering as the smell of whiskey and stale cigarette smoke passed over her, it was something she regularly smelt but could never seem get used to. There lay her mother, passed out as usual on the old faded green couch, the odd bottle scattered here and there. She wrinkled her nose irritably at the woman as she started to clean up the bottles, cigarette stubs and stained glasses from the table and the floor.

Once her drunken mother had been taken care of Ellie was finally free to do what she wanted. Climbing the stairs she rubbed her arm absently mindedly. She reached the darkened landing and pushed open the door opposite the stairs revealing a bright white bathroom. Locking the door behind her she lent on the sink and looked in the mirror on the cupboard above it. She paused long enough to let out a sigh before opening the cupboard and searching for her Razor in its usual hiding place behind the Medicines. She withdrew her hand seconds later holding her prize tight in her fist.

Today had been a mistake, the second of her biggest secrets had been discovered by the one and only Paige Michalchuck cheerleader, queen bee and super bitch extraordinaire, Ellie's total opposite. Ellie pulled down her arm warmer and rolled up the sleeve as she remembered the wave of panic that came over her had the blonde girl had entered the bathroom; she had taken her by surprise leaving her no time to cover up what so ever. Ellie blamed herself for being so stupid to not go into a cubical if only she had thought properly she wouldn't be having to deal with the irritating blonde and her 'good intentions'. She put the blade to her skin. Paige had gone to Sauve the school councillor about what she had seen, this meant now Ellie had sessions with Sauve every week to look forward too. Pressing down she drew the shining blade it across her arm, lifting it from her skin she watched as the blood flooded the wound and began to slip over the edge running slowly down her arm. What was she supposed to do in those stupid sessions anyway? Spill her inner most feelings to some shrink woman she barely knew? She wrinkled her nose at the thought of telling Sauve every thought that entered her head and every detail of her life, no that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. Anyway Why should she stop doing something that took her problems away? Cutting herself wasn't the problem it was the solution. In her eyes anyway.

The stairs creaked making Ellie jump as she realised there were foot steps coming closer. She quickly grabbed some toilet paper wiped off the blood from her arm before throwing it down the toilet and flushing it. She put the blade back in the hiding place and had just pulled on her arm warmer before her mother's voice entered the room from the hall way.

"Eleanor…" she muttered drunkenly

Ellie flung open the door and rolled her eyes as her mother fell in and began emptying her stomach into the toilet. She stood disgusted for a minute before she decided to leave her too it and headed into her bedroom. She turned on her CD player and skipped to the track she wanted sinking down on to her bed as the music began to blast out covering the sounds of retching. After making an attempt at her maths homework she decided to get an early night. Once she had changed into an old hoody and pair of pyjama bottoms she settled into her bed turning off her CD player with the remote and flicking of her bedside lamp hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.

A/n - I Apologise in advance for any mistakes, I'm not from canada i'm actually from England.