A Warm Welcome for Kairi
(Second…fanfic…ever… Um, yeah, it is kind of rushed and you may not find it funny unless you have my sort of sense of humor (as about 0.000001 of the world's population do). Regardless, I'd like some reviews… This is supposed to take place when Kairi first comes to the island. Yeah, I know, it completely changes the actual storyline of the game and makes absolutely no sense but, hey, that's what fanfic's are for. I try to point out all of the ridiculous glavin and hoo-hey that is in the game, and try to make it funny. 'Try' being the key word… )
Land! Kairi could see land! Not much land, but land none the less! She stood straight up and began leaping up and down, 'wooping' both with exitement and to attract the attention of any inhabitants on the small landmass. At the back of her mind she considered that her very torn and damp clothes and hair would not leave her looking very presentable, but she pushed that thought away.
"Ahoy there!" she yelled in a croaky voice that hadn't been used for weeks. "Is there anyone there?"
"Yeah! Who's out there!" replied another voice, a boys voice if she had heard right. Is that the boy from the Home Alone movies? She thought, a frown forming on her damp face. However, as she drifted closer she saw that it was, in fact, a teenage boy wearing baggy shorts and a heavy looking jacket (on a tropical island?), with brown hair who, apparently, used FAR to much hair-gel. Hmmm, that freak looks oddly attractive… She found herself thinking for a moment before she yelled back to him.
"Ummm, my name's Kairi, and I've been drifting on this raft for," she counted on her fingers, "Three weeks!" She saw the boy's eyes light up at this and he very quickly began swimming out towards the small raft. As he reached it, Kairi noticed that there was absolutely no water on either the boy or his incredibly large hairdo.
"How the heck do you stay dry?" she asked him incredulously, trying to strike up a bit of conversation.
"Oh, I dunno. It's just always happened like that. I've never really given it much thought. Come on, I'll drag you back to the island.
In a few minutes Kairi was sitting on the sandy beach with a towel around her shoulders. The boy she met before finished dragging her raft out of the water, walked up to her and bent down, his face seeming to be perpetually set in a freakish half-grin.
"So, Kairi huh? Well, I hope you're doing okay. Sounds like quite an adventure, being lost at sea." He said in that oddly familiar voice once more. Oh sure, lying on a plank of wood for three weeks surviving on a pack of coconuts while getting sea-sick. Whoopty-friggin-doo! "I'm Sora, by the way."
"Hey, isn't Sora supposed to be a girl's name?" Kairi asked him without thinking. Sora's eyes went wide and he began to twitch oddly.
"Wha-who-when-wer-What on earth are you talking about! Wha-what gave you that idea?" he said to her in a disturbed voice.
"W-well it's just that I remember seeing a t.v show with a girl called Sora on it. Yeah, it was about these little…monster…things. Yeah, and they were, um, digital. Hey, I think it was called Digim-" Sora slapped his gloved hand over Kairi's mouth very quickly and set her with a cold stare.
"No, Kairi, I think you're imagining things…" he said in a slow, almost robotic voice, his other hand fingering something in his pocket. The wide eyed Kairi nodded frantically, and Sora seemed to return to normal.
"Well, welcome to Destiny Islands! It's awesome here, you'll love it!" he said in an exited voice.
"Ah, Destiny Islands…" Kairi said, a puzzled expression on her face. "How did it get a name like that?" She asked Sora, walking beside him along the beach.
"Because everyone here has a DESTINY! DUUUUHHHH!" Sora yelled, crossing his eyes and hitting himself over the head. Kairi decided not to respond. Soon the two came to a warf that had three kids, about Sora's age, gathered around it, each seemingly engrosed in their own activity.
"I'll introduce you to the others. I'm sure you'll like them." Sora said, smiling at a now thoroughly disturbed Kairi. The closest boy was dark skinned and tall with short dark hair and a headband. He was spinning a strange looking ball on his finger, gazing at it with hypnotized eyes, a small drop of drool forming at the side of his mouth. Sora pointed to the large boy.
"That's Wakka. His ball usually falls of his finger at around lunchtime, so you'll be able to talk to him soon." Sora said casually, leading Kairi on to the next figure. Standing on top of the warf was a small girl with a short yellow dress and a very…unlikely hairstyle. She was standing next to a sack of white powder that, Kairi guessed, was sugar. The girl was shaking and wide eyed with a weary smile on her face.
"Iliketrains Iliketrains Iliketrains Iliketrains Iliketrains" she was mumbling as Kairi approached her. Sora introduced the girl as Selphie.
"Umm, hello?" Kairi cautiously said to the girl.
"HAVE YOU GOT A TRAAAAAAIN?" Selphie yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Kairi. Kairi let out a yelp and tripped over a piece of wood, landing hard on the sand. "I HAD A TRAIN ONCE! TRAINS ARE SOOO COOOOL! THEY GO CHUUUGGGGAAA CHHHHUUUUGGGAAA AND TOOOOOOOT! AND YOU CAN SING TRAAAAAIN SONGS ON THEM AND…" Sora cut in and made an apoligetic face at Kairi.
"Uh, sorry, she's been getting like this ever since this bag of white stuff washed up on shore. Eh, I'll fix her." Sora pulled out a crudely made wooden sword from nowhere and hit Selphie in her twitching face with the flat of the blade. She let out an unbareably high pitched scream, spun around once and fell into the water with a loud splash. After a couple of seconds she sat up in the water abruptly and walked back to shore with a completely normal expression on her face.
"Oh, hi! Sorry 'bout that. I lose it sometimes." She said, waving at Kairi.
"Sometimes!" a cocky voice cut in from farther up the beach. "You've never found 'it'." Down the beach walked a blonde boy with shorts with mismached legs on and a yellow top. He walked up to Kairi and offered his hand.
Finally, a normal one! Kairi thought as she took his hand and shook it. At last, some sort of sanity on this crazy island!
"I'm Tidus, pleased to meet you. It's been a while since there's been a girl here that I CAN SMASH THE SHIT OUT OF!" He said, his normal voice turning into a shout.
"W-what?" Kairi thought, her hopes of surviving steadily dwindeling.
"Oh, sorry. It's just that I was wondering if YOU WANTED A FIGHT TO THE DEAAAAAATHHH?" he yelled at her, wide eyed.
"Hey, back off man, she isn't into fighting!" Sora said, stepping in front of her. He then turned to Kairi and winked at her. "Hey, but that's nothing a few days here won't cure, huh?" he said. No sooner had Kairi stood back up and recovered her wits then another figure made his appearance. A very tall blue haired boy approached her and the strange group of people.
"Hey babe, I'm Riku. Hows it hanging?" he said in a very high, very fake 'swingers' accent that reminded her of Michael Jackson.
"Um, alright, I guess." She stammered. She decided to try to make a bit of conversation. "S-so, how'd your hair get that colour?" she asked casually.
"Oh, you like it lil' lady? It's my…little secret…" he said, approaching Kairi and sweeping his hand through shoulder-length hair. Kairi backed away from him, only to bump into Sora.
"Hey Riku, I just thought of something!" piped up Selphie from behind them, "I knew a woman who had a hair style a little bit like yours who was also called Riku! Isn't that a coincidence?" she said merrily. Riku's grin lessened slightly.
"Uh, yeah…coincidence. That must be it." He said, making his voice sound as deep as possible.
"Hey, I just had a thought Kairi! You can stay and live on this island with us!" Said Sora exitedly.
"Yeah!" Shouted Tidus from behind. "You and me can get together sometime and SEE WHO SURVIVES!"
"You might feel a bit out of place at first, but soon you'll be just like us." Selphie yelled exitedly.
"Of course, there aren't any spare rooms, so you'll have to sleep in my bed. With me!" Riku said, his face lighting up.
"So, what do you say Kairi! Will you stay?"
Kairi looked at each of the figures in turn, her eyes growing wide with fear.
"I'D RATHER DIE AT SEA THAN SUFFER ANOTHER MOMENT AROUND ALL OF YOU FREAKS!" Kairi yelled at them, louder than she had ever yelled at anything before. Then she ran as fast as she could back to her raft, pushed it into the sea and began paddling for her life…
(Hope you enjoyed that. It was my first attempt at 'funny' writing, so please review so I know if I suck or not. By the way, I highly suggest that you check out the fanfics by TropicalWeirdo. They ROCK!)
Buh-Bye…
By Phoenixmage9000