I wake up in my bed. I wish I didn't. Today is one of that cursed days when the whole world is meeting. I will have to go and meet them too. I don't want to. But I have to keep my image.
I prepare for the day mechanically. The rutine is killing me. Get up. Collect clothes. Go to the bathroom. Take a shower. Get dressed. Brush teeth. Try fixing hair. Prepare breakfast. Eat breakfast. Collect paperwork. Lock the house. Go to the airport.
Today it is Poland. He acts like an idiot but I still remember how he was fighting for life. In his thousand years history he fighted almost every day and everyone. Destroyed always found a way to come back. He is tough. And not an idiot. Prussia and Russia hate him with passion...
I was glad that he was the host. Maybe because he defeated Sweden several times.
Warszawa was nice. It was living. But people were quiet and in a rush. Not very friendly. Not very cheerful. Minding their own buisnesses.
I was one of the first in the room. I needed time. On the streets I let myself blend with the crowd but here my mask was prepared and put on. Cheer. Grin. Annoy. Be loud. Be obnoxious. Like you were.
I didn't need any mask before. I was just me. Now though I changed. I am more serious than happy-go-lucky like I was. I am more mature now. I don't want any questions though. So I stay hidden. Behind lies and memories.
The Nordics entered the room together. They ignored me. I greeted them loudly and cheerfully as cold as ice on the inside. Now I have an inside like a real Nordic. Stone and ice. No warmth. No heart. Only lies. Like Norway. Like Iceland. Like Sweden. Like Finland. You surprised? Then you probably never saw him on the war. He can be worse that Norway if he wants. Merciless sniper.
They sit far away. That's good. I was hoping they'd do something like that. If they didn't I'd have to talk to them. I don't want to. It's difficult not to let them see me. To keep my delusion. Eventually they're going to see it one way or another. I knew that but I pray to Odin this day is far away. I don't want questions. It's easier alone.
I enjoyed the meeting. It was amusing how England, France and America always can find a way get into a fight. And then Germany's shouting scaring Italy into babbling random things about his beloved pasta.
Italy is one happy man. He has pasta to love. It's making him happy. My love made me an empty shell. Norway killed my joy and made me use that cursed mask of arrogance and happiness.
I had to talk to my love. Try once again. Maybe this time he'll change his mind.
'Hey Norge!' I say as soon as I see him out of the World Meeting Room. We're somewhat alone in the corridor.
He's ignoring me. Again.
Trying to keep my grin on face I put my arm around his shoulders. 'Long time no see! Were you missing me?' I ask already knowing the answer and preparing my stomach for an inevietable blow. It comes fast and forceful. Hurts.
'Get lost, Danmark. You're annoying.' He says. I knew that he'd say something like that. After all we're doing this for centuries now. I try to convey my love to him. He tries to convey his hatred towards me.
'Aww Norge!' I whine. I'm such a great actor... 'That was not very nice!' He shrugs and shakes me off of him. Before I can say something more though he delievers the second blow. That's something new. I wasn't prepared for that and the punch made me stumble and gasp with pain.
'Stay away from me, annoying idiot.' He says and goes away before I can recover. As soon as he's out of my view my grin fells. All fake cheerfulness leaves. Now it's only Denmark. Pure and miserable image of unrequieted love. Pathethic liar. I lie to myself all the time. And to others, too. They never saw this me. The real me.
Suddenly I see Finland standing in the nearby doorway and staring at me. I put my mask once again and greet him cheerfuly although I know it's too late. He saw. No matter how much, it was enough. I can see it in his eyes that he's shocked. This is probably the first time he sees me not smiling. Aside from battle rage I was always grinning. Even when hurt I never let my mask fall. Only recently and when I was sure I'm alone after Norway went away. Seems like this time I forgot to check. No good.
'Hi Fin!' I say happily. He gasps and stares at me intensly. He's remembering, reminding the past. He knows the mask now and tries to remember every time he saw me hide behind it in front of them. And every time I left them to take it off. His eyes are wide.
'I'll be going now, I think.' I say to him still faking cheer. 'See ya on the next Meeting!' With that I leave him there. Before questions start. Before he can realize fully what he had just saw. I'm not ready for this conversation. Not yet.
The meeting is over, I go home. Before anyone can stop me I run away like a coward I am. Usually I'd linger as long as it's possible trying to talk to Sweden or Norway or even Iceland. They all hate me. I'm a masochist. Now though Finland knows. I have to run and prepare for questions. He's the stubborn one. He won't let it slide. Maybe he'd even tell the rest of us. Of them. Of the Nordics.
We were supposed to be like a family. Finland and Sweden are together. Norway and Iceland are brothers. And I? I love Norway. I'm the oldest.
I'm not one of their family. I'm a nasty nuisance for them. For Norway. For Sweden. For little Iceland. For Finalnd probably too. He's too nice to show it.
I lock all the doors and windows once I'm out of the taxi and inside the house. The meeting went okay. The flight back home from Poland was good. I'd stay longer to talk with him or go sightseeing if it's not for current circumstances. I heard his country had some nice views. Especially mountains.
Now though I lock myself in my own house that, though rebuilded several times, is still the same house. From the start. I made it smaller every time. From a mighty castle to a mansion to simple cottage. It's empty. Just like me. Only looks like full of life on the outside to fool people. I leave it only for World Meetings and when I'm needed here. By my boss.
Now, I grab a blanket and settle on the couch. Coffee table in front of me with my laptop and TV remote sitting on it. The computer, I decide and go to make myself a coffee while it's waking to life.
The mug is decorated with my flag. The Scandinavian Cross. They have it on their flags too. I was the first.
The rest of the day I spend pointlessly surfing the internet or playing Solitarie. What an irony.
Once I heard someone knocking on my door. But I did not want any guests and the house looked empty. Whoever it was, went away quickly assuming I was not home.
No phonecalls. I changed my phone number long ago. They never realized. They never call.
Finally I went to sleep in my bed. Cold. Just like me so it took a good while for it to get warm.
My sleep was dreemless. Again.
/txtbreak/
So... I don't really know what this is. Why this is. I wrote it one night. Started around first and ended around three a.m. 26.08.2012. I know that I have an ongoing story but I just had to write it. On my phone so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
Please review. I need it. Let me know what you think. Let me get better.
And wish me luck with 'Tired'. I can't find inspiration to write it. I started two new stories. With Spamano and PruCan both.
So... see ya? I hope you liked it.
Maybe you want me to continue this? I... well I did not plan it. But when I ended this I thought it'll be a oneshot. What do you think?
I don't own Hetalia. Hidekaz Himaruya does.