Disclaimer; I obviously own nothing or I wouldn't be writing stories like this on FF.
This story will probably be slow moving, and I won't be updated on any sort of set schedule as of now. Hopefully you enjoy it as I write it - I appreciate any type of reviews as long as you can manage to be respectful.
I can't remember the last time I felt like my life held actual importance. It had become a daily routine of nothing but throwing myself into training for as long as I care to remember; since that night that has been burned so thoroughly into my mind. Frowning at nothing, I pounded my fist against the tree again. Thinking about importance, it was useless. I had only one goal in life, to find that peace of mind that's been so far out of reach for so many years. I've spent over half of my life in a spinning, tangled web of anger, hate and pain. It's increased the naturally off the charts strength I already possessed, as is my birth right. It increased the power behind every hit, and the determination to push through everything, to survive if only to achieve my only goal.
I know what they say behind their hands about me, about my story, my history, my clan. I know what they must all think about me, how sometimes they shy away from me. And I don't blame them, in fact I feel nothing for them at all. They aren't worth my worries, and so most of the time I don't even notice them anymore. I've grown so accustom to being alone, I sometimes don't even realize when I'm surrounded by people. I'd once been a sad pathetic child, crying over something I couldn't change. I'd be uselessly wasting my life and my effort, loving someone who had no heart, no soul. Trusting the one person who had betrayed me, but I no longer trusted anyone but myself. I'd forgotten for a few moments that I was a ninja in training, I was learning – But I hadn't learned enough, I wasn't strong enough, I hadn't progressed far enough. Not like him, in my silent moments of weakness I'd question if I would ever be strong enough to defeat him, would I ever possess the anger, the hate, the power to finally end the life that stole mine away from me. Such precious eyes, that I'd envied for so long. But now, I possessed those same eyes and I'd work until I could no longer become better. I'd track him down, I would find the what I deserved, the peace with my life.
Until then, I would keep everyone as far away as I could. I wouldn't allow myself to forge a relationship with anyone, I wouldn't allow that creepy hand of feeling to wrap itself around my heart that beat, but felt nothing for the people around me. I'd spent half of my life, turning myself into this machine. Brutalizing my body, expanding my mind, enhancing my strength; I wouldn't allow myself to fail, I wouldn't allow myself to fall. Annoyed at my own thoughts, I stared up at the threatening sky, noticing that it was quickly growing dark and the winds had picked up considerably. Clenching and unclenching my fist, I figured I'd burned off nearly all the chakra I had, it was time to head home for now. "Home," I muttered, like that word had meant anything to me for the past few years. I didn't have a home, a house yes, but not a home. I'd never have a home again, that was taken away from me so long ago. Shaking my head, then brushing the dark strands out of my eyes, I sighed softly. My head was so out of sorts today, I needed quite a few more sessions in control and concentration it seemed.
I ducked back within the gates of the village, sticking to the rooftops as to avoid anyone I may know still lurking through the streets below. I allowed my body the luxury of relaxing, as I retraced the familiar steps towards my apartment. Slipping into my apartment soundlessly, not bothering with the lights, I made my way directly to the bedroom. Slowly removing my gear, and clothing I started to feel just how much my muscles ached. Though it was painful, it was also welcomed. If I wasn't feeling it everynight when I got home, I wasn't pushing myself nearly hard enough. There had been nights I'd barely been able to drag myself from the woods, to my apartment – those were the days I allowed myself to feel a small amount of momentary pride in myself. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I fell back onto my bed, allowing myself to succumb to the welcomed darkness as I faded into a deep and untroubled sleep.