Author's Note : Don't blame me for this new story just blame KanaZero for being a wonderful pair and so fun to right about! Also blame Kaname for being so damn perfect :(
What should I do they just kept playing in my head I'm not the one at fault here .. Anyway I hope you enjoy this story and wish it won't be confusing at first though :D
Warnings: un vampire fic, a slight Zero x Yuuki I don't actually care as long as that bitch is two hundred miles away from Kaname. So much angst I guess and maybe a dark fic? .. Also a terrible grammar and spilling mistakes.
Summary: Standing aside and watching his lover betraying him with non other than his newly found younger sister. Kaname's sharp mind is full of unanswered questions, their sudden appearance, their real motive, what's all that have to do with him and his authority? Running away from the answers, he struggles to keep standing on his own feet. KaZe
Chapter 1: The Dying Hope
I want to stay in love with my sorrow..
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
Kaname took off his jacket and put down his umbrella, the storm outside is so powerful. He walked straight to the living room, Zero might be there at this moment.
He stopped on his way when he heard a giggle from the kitchen, is Yuuki here today? Well, he didn't see her limo outside apparently because of the dark and the heavy rain.
A low whimper escaped his lips when he made his way to the kitchen, he stood in front of the slightly open door without any sound. One hand in his pocket and his burgundy eyes staring coldly at the two figures kissing inside the kitchen, His kitchen.
Kissing, smiling, giggling together, they looked like a perfect couple aren't they? One being his younger sister while the other is his first and precious boyfriend, or that what he thought him would be.
Kaname kept staring at them with indifferent expressions, if anyone sees him right now they won't think he give a damn about them, but if they looked closely, they will notice his elegant fingers clutching his pant's pocket in a cold unmistakable rage.
He made his way to the living room, he knew about them two months ago, but why he kept silent about it till this moment? He doesn't know.
Part of him think he doesn't want to lose his only family, his younger sister that he knew about her existence just this year. Also; he doesn't want to lose Zero, the only person who caught his attention with his unusual beauty, the only person who he was able to love. The other part however, wants so badly to see the two lay dead on the ground next to his feet right in this instant.
What an ironic, the only two persons he allowed into his life were betraying him behind his back, a lot of questions were on his exhausted mind; what do they want from him? Why did they come to him in the first place? Why did Yuuki .. Introduce Zero to him?! And why did Zero accept to be his lover if he already loves Yuuki?!
Why indeed.
He stood next to the window and rubbed his temples when the headache had worsened, his ringing cellphone just made everything worse.
He answered without looking at the name on the screen "what is it Serien?"
He stare coldly at the darkness outside, the heavy rain hitting the glass window firmly, he didn't flinch when the loud thunder cracked outside "You don't have to ask, no matter what his state is just get rid off him already. I don't need a useless person to stand in my way"
He throw his phone on the couch behind him without caring if it broke into pieces, the reason his family's company has reached this high state is because of his hate for the useless people and his hate for the mistakes. He pays them generously, but one mistake and their faces won't be seen in the company ever again, no exceptions. He was raised from his childhood to lead this company to a new promising future, and he did. They call him a sadistic, arrogant and ruthless. Well he won't deny it, he wasn't a tolerant person at all, he never was and he will never be .. Yet ..
Why he didn't face his called lover and sister till now?
He dropped his tired body lazily on the couch, before he knew about their relationship, he was always wondering why Zero is so cold towards him, at first he thought he was shy to show his feelings, but as the days went by; he knew the other doesn't love him at all.
He hates to admit it, but he was desperate to be loved. Since he was a small child; he has been treated like an adult, no presents in Christmas and birthdays, no candies or sweets because of his health, no playing, always studying and reading, and also .. No crying was allowed, that's how the future president of the Kuran company should be raised.
They did well in raising him as a compose and sharp president with iron grip, but as a person? He doubt it.
He was a walking hollow shell, never in his life he felt emotions, he thought it had died somewhere along the way, since he was a child he felt nothing, but deep inside he was hoping that tomorrow might be better, he hoped he would find the happiness they talked about in the books and novels someday. But year after year, all his hopes and childish dreams came crashing down on the cold reality. At the age of 10, he stopped hoping in a better life, he stopped hoping in seeing different colours other than the white, black and gray. He learned how to shut his emotions down, and be the calm compose person they wanted him to be.
Even in his parents funeral he never cried, he didn't know them well anyway, he barely sees them because of their busy business and their travels.
But when he meets Zero, the only person who was able to show him a new life, a new emotions, love, happiness .. He showed him how to smile for the first time in his life.
However those heavenly moments were cut short soon after, when he confessed his love to Zero after a suffering war between his heart and pride, and the other has accepted it with a warm smile and a soft kiss ..
That when; everything bright had disappeared, and his life has returned clouded and dark again, if not worse than before. Zero has changed out of sudden, no more smiles, no more love, and no more pretending as it appears.
He tried to know the reason but he didn't ask once, yes .. He fears the answer.
After their first time in sleeping together, and that was when Zero has started to change, he kept it just a soft kisses between them in hope that Zero might return to his normal self, but it seems .. Zero has jut shown his true self.
He didn't try to make him sleep with him again, he just kept staring at Zero's back till his tired eyes closed slowly. Until ...
He chased these thoughts away when he heard a calm footsteps approaching, he lift his blank wine-red eyes to stare at Zero who stood in the doorway but said nothing.
Zero said coldly "You are home"
He nodded in return and avert his eyes to look at the window, his heart ached, it's un awful pain, at least .. Pretend that you care Zero.
I miss your smile.
Zero walked and sat next to him on the couch without further talking, he fought back the argue to lean his head on the silver haired boy's shoulder, he was exhausted.
He leaned his head towards the other's shoulder slowly, just this moment .. Just once ..
He stopped midway when he smelt Yuuki's favourite perfume scent on Zero's shirt, he lift his blank eyes to glance at Zero's slightly swollen soft lips. He retreated and leaned his aching head on the couch instead, he closed his eyes and did his best to not let such a thing bothers him..
But it did bother him and hurt him .. deeply.
It's pointless, all of it.
He opened his tired eyes when he heard Yuuki's cheerful voice "Hello brother! How are you doing?"
He forced a smile "Hello Yuuki, I didn't know you are coming today, how is your college?"
She smiled widely "It's perfect! I got two full weeks to rest before the hard work starts"
He took off his already loosened tie "Have you draw another beautiful picture?"
She smiled knowingly at Zero who returned it with a small but warm smile "Yes and you will definitely like it! But I didn't finish yet it needs more time"
He pretended that he didn't notice the exchange looks, whatever was that picture he have no interest in it at all.
He glanced briefly at Zero before he stood and walked to the door "Take your time Yuuki and take care of yourself, no need to work hard then get sick in the end "
It's not worth it.
"Okay thank you Kaname, where are you going you won't eat dinner with us?!"
"Actually I'm not hungry, enjoy your meal.." He stopped and gave Zero one last glance "Just make sure he eats probably Yuuki, he wasn't eating well this last week. Good night"
He continued his walk without waiting for a respond, of course Zero will eat well if Yuuki was with him.
She used to come here in every weekend, however the last weekend she didn't because her duties and homework in her college. That's why Zero wasn't eating well it seems, Zero messed her.
After he knew about their relationship he used to leave them alone freely whenever Yuuki came. He took off his shoes and lied his tired body on the bed without caring to change into his pyjama, he knows Zero won't sleep here tonight and he will come in the early morning as usual if Yuuki was here.
He clenched the soft mattress with his hand, till when he will be able to hide it?! It's eating him slowly inside. Till when he will be able to prevent himself from killing them both?!
He groaned when he felt his head like it was about to burst and he rubbed his temples in a field attempt to make the painful headache disappear. Maybe this was his punishment for moving the nuisance people out of his way without remorse, but it was their fault not his, he didn't do anything wrong, he just did what was expected of him.
Until when he will be able to stand steady on his feet?!
Maybe in the end he will .. Die piece by piece, till nothing was left.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me ..?
Flashback
Kaname stare at the empty place next to him, he touched it with his hand, it's still warm, Zero has just left.
He lied on his back and stare mindlessly at the ceiling, his gaze turned to rest on the silver ring on his finger. He bought them for himself and Zero when they had started going out together month ago, it isn't for an engagement or something, it's just a sample to show their love for each other, to show that they belong to each other .. Only.
He took off the ring and stare at what has written inside it 'Forever' .. He now wonders, is there something called forever at all? Zero ..
They had slept together again before hours ago, their second. He doesn't want to admit it but .. Zero has been oddly so cold with him, he wonders why? Did he hurt him? Is that why Zero has been treating him coldly all the last three weeks? Did Zero hate it?!
He clenched the ring in his hand and closed his eyes forcefully, was he terrible?!
Zero said it was his first, the same goes for Kaname, he never had this sort of feelings before let alone sleeping with other people. As much as he wanted to see Zero's eyes to know his true feelings, the other just avoided his gaze.
He slipped out of the bed and grabbed his towel on his way to the bathroom, where is Zero if he wasn't showering? Well that's weird.
He finished his shower in haste and went to search for Zero, maybe he was hurt or something .. He have to make sure he didn't harm him in anyway.
When he was on his way he passed by Yuuki's room, that sound .. Is she crying?!
He stopped and lift his hand to knock on the door to make sure she was fine, he stopped midway when he heard a low sopping and a soft murmurs, he frowned .. Is there someone inside with her?
Although it was against his rules, but he felt a bad feeling about this. He put his hand on the doorknob and opened it quietly without a sound, his eyes widened when he saw Yuuki crying on the floor and Zero hugging her gently, what's happening? Is something wrong?!
He stare in disbelieve when Yuuki lift her teary eyes towards Zero and said in a shaking voice "I'm sorry .. I'm sorry .. You have to endure this I'm sorry Zero!"
His lips parted slightly in shock and he stare wide-eyed when Zero kissed her gently on her rosy lips "We are in this together Yuuki, I won't go back in my words. We knew this will happen from the beginning didn't we?"
She cried "But you had just throw up because of that! If you doesn't want him to touch you just tell him! Or keep refusing like you did all the past weeks!"
All the colours had drowned from Kaname's face, what was all that?
He lift his hand to his mouth when he suddenly felt a nausea .. Zero has just .. Throw up because he slept with him?!
He focused his wide eyes on them again, he saw Yuuki putting her hand on Zero's hands "Please don't wear this ring in front of me Zero" she sopped "I can't take it!"
He watched when Zero took off the ring and throw it away before he gathered Yuuki in his arms gently.
He took some steps back, is this for real?! He felt his heart stop beating, his hands felt cold, he should have known .. There wasn't any hope for him at all, all his hopes has died long ago. He shouldn't have opened his heart so easily to this boy.
What a waste ..
There wasn't anything called .. Forever.
Here in the darkness I know myself ..
And in the end I guess I had to fall ..
Always find my place among the ashes.