DISCLAIMER: This fanfiction is transcribed from the following YouTube video. watch?v=fo45o69HaKI
All credit for the work should go to the video-maker. I thought it was comedy GOLD though, and knew it deserved to be uploaded to Fanfiction. It was made in 2007, and is probably the only 'crack-fic' of "To Kill a Mockingbird" that so thoroughly embodies everything I love about Fanfiction. In fact, the Top Comment on the original video even says:
"I remember seeing this many years ago. This video defined the internet for me, and ever since then I've never been able to read "To Kill A Mockingbird" without remembering the hands-down greatest instance of Ninjas vs. Pirates... on fire." And I think that's all you need to know. OK, now you can read it.

Chapter One- Boo Radley and the Mockingbird

"And in conclusion, that's what Mark Twain was talking about when he wrote Huckleberry Finn…"

Josh Parker went back to his seat. It was alright I guess, as book reports go. I think mine is better though. I liked how Mark Twain said that God lets good people be pirates. I'll probably read that book next.
The teacher is looking at me now. I finished this late last night. I hope she likes it.

"Next up is Benny Miller. What book did you do? Oh my goodness…"

One thing Josh did wrong was, the key to a good book report? Presentation.

"Hang on teacher, first I have to hook up this laptop with some power converters to the overhead projector. I did a Power-Point presentation."

I started dragging the contraption I had rigged together on a cart from the hallway into the classroom. I had rehearsed this the night before, and even tape-recorded myself, so all I had to do for my presentation was press a button and lip synch. Pretty smart move, for a kid fresh out of 6th grade. But the teacher didn't need to know that part. As the tape started playing, my Power-Point started showing some pictures of the book I found on Google.

"I did 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. Which is probably the best book ever written by a person. It won the award called the Pulitzer Prize, which is pretty much like the Oscar for books."

There was some lazy nodding as the kids who knew what the Oscar was looked interested.

"Some call it: The Timeless Classic of Growing Up, and The Human Dignity That Unites Us All, and I would agree with them. 'To Kill a Mockingbird' is about a girl named Scout. Scout lives in the South, and she has a brother named Jem. "He once had a broken arm" Scout says. Her last name is Finch. Same as her's brother's, and her dad's, Atticus. But not her mom, because her mom's dead"

I thought I'd done a pretty good job of drawing Scout and her family in MS Paint for the Power-Point. It was a lot harder to draw her mom though. That rocky texture on the tombstone took me twenty minutes to figure out how to do.

"Atticus Finch is a lawyer, and he fights for justice! They have a slave woman named Calpurnia. She cooks them dinner, and is very mysterious! They have a friend named Dill. (I got lazy at drawing at this point. In the Power-Point, Dill was a pickle.) They also have a crazy neighbor named Boo Radley who killed his dad and wants to kill all of them. That's why Dill wants to find him."

Once I started talking about killing people, the class perked up. Books with killing in them are always the best! The PowerPoint changed to a scene in front of Boo Radley's house.

"One time they go to his house, and Jem touches the house to show that he isn't an idiot. He does it, and, he sees the shutters move because Boo Radley wants them all dead. This is when things started getting hazy….."
(Actually, this is when I stopped working on the project to watch TV last night. I'd just finished the book, and it was late. I woke up a 7:30AM today and did the rest the project 10 minutes before class started. I hoped noone would notice though.)

"The next morning Scout and her friend, and her brother, decided to go exploring for treasure. But too late! :O A PIRATE found them first! And who was this pirate you ask? None other than BOO. RADLEY. ! Who wants them dead as much as the treasure. almost. He said to them "Now I have the treasure from the tree, and all you get is the string and the clockwatch." (At this point, to build some excitement, I had put some action villain music into the Power-Point. The class was on the edge of their seats!) And Scout, a girl, says "Not so fast, Pirate!" and it turns out she's actually not a girl at all, but a robot guy. "

"The pirate was like "Yeah right, this treasure's mine, forever!" And right when he's getting ready to ride away on this burning shark (That totally happened in the book by the way. Definitely.), the pirate's like "NOOOooo!", because right then, a Mockingbird with this Giant Head, and wings, like a helicopter, he took all the gold and gems. Except for the character named Jem. 'Cuz he's worthless. The pirate's like "Yeah Right!" And pulls out his Musket! No, wait. It was actually a gun for lasers! Well, a laser sword!. With guns on it. AND it shot other swords! So the pirate jumps on this Burning, Flying Shark, which takes him to this Airship, which is full of cannons, missiles, and more Pirates. With awesome sword guns and plasma rifles! You can see the Pirate Logo ™ glistening in the bright, morning sun. There was a lens flare, and motion blurs!" (This is actually part of the book report script, not just describing the Power-Point)

"The Mockingbird was like, "Yeah, Right!", cuz, No-One can Kill A Mockingbird, or can they? ? ?
The Mockingbird, which is now also On Fire, uhh, but ColdFyre, shoots these lightsabers from his mouth. Uh, they were also burning. The Pirates were like "No Way!" aLL at once, and their Flying Airship charged the Mockingbird! "Load the cannons, mateys!" the First Mate said. They then loaded the cannons with missiles and shot everything they had. Including lesser pirates. But they didn't mind. Cuz they were awesome. And it was like a small cut for them, and pirates enjoy being cut." "SHOOT EVERYTHING WE HAVE!"