Disclaimer: I don't own furuba. Nor am I making any profit.
Oneshot : Trapped in A Box
There was a box, sitting on his shelf. An elegant box with a large, fussy bow on top. But even with the bow, it was still, obviously, a shoe box. It had been sent to the house a month ago. He'd quietly, politely accepted it from the postman and set it on the shelf. He hadn't touched it since.
Every day, when he got home from school, he looked at the box. And every morning, when he woke up, he looked at the box. And every morning and every evening the knot in his stomach grew.
Tohru lay in her bed, feeling awake and giddy. Graduation at last. She'd stayed up all night long celebrating with Hana-chan and Uo-chan. They, more than anyone, knew how much graduation meant to her. Now, laying in bed at 3 a.m., her blood was still singing and she giggled a little, holding up her mother's picture and grinning madly, then hugging it to her chest.
"I did it mom, just like you always wanted. I did it!" She whispered.
There would be changes, upheavals. But they were minor. Uo and Hana had convinced her to enroll in culinary school in the area. Hana had enrolled in junior college, saying something about philosophy and Uo-chan just smiled mysteriously and said "she had plans" whenever anyone asked her what she would be doing. But they were all staying in the area. Shigure had burst into tears when she'd mentioned that she'd move out since she didn't want to be a burden. By the time he'd stopped crying she'd sworn to stay with them forever. She felt a bit guilty, she couldn't impose on them forever, but maybe just a few more years ...
Her thoughts were becoming warm and sleepy, running together. It was amazing how fast euphoria could turn into sleep. But the haziness of sleep was interrupted by a light, polite, but insistent knocking. Gentle, but steady. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, a smile coming naturally to her face. That was the way Yuki-kun knocked. She hadn't seen him since right after the graduation ceremony when Uo and Hana-chan had whisked her off, saying that the night belonged to them.
She stumbled over to the door, and opened it. It wasn't locked. Once, Yukistill half-asleephad opened her door instead of his. She'd been in her pyjamas, and didn't really remember it, but he'd been unable to look at her for a week. He was so polite, she felt horrible about embarrassing him. She'd thought about locking it then, but she could never remember to. Or she would lock it, and then spend five minutes in the morning trying to figure out why the door wouldn't open.
Yuki looked calm and serene, but then he always did. There was something about his eyes though. Something bright and feverish. His eyes were often kind, or cool, always reserved. Never like this. She took an involuntary step back.
He smiled softly, "Can I come in. I know it's late, but ..."
"Please come in," she stepped back further, hoping she hadn't seemed rude.
Yuki stepped in, carefully leaving the door ajar. He ran his hands through his hair and then stuck them in his pockets, looking away from her.
"I'm sorry Tohru-san. I should have said this long ago, and now I've waited until the last minute."
"the last minute?" Tohru echoed, confused. Trying to think of something that she might have forgotten to do.
"As a child, it was like I was living in a box in many ways. I was so trapped. When I came to Shigure's house I thought that I was finally free. But although I'd escaped that place, it was like I hadn't really gotten out. It was like there was still a barrier between me and the rest of the world. I couldn't connect to anyone. That's when I realized that the box was inside me, and that I might never escape it."
"Yuki-kun, no -"
"I'm sorry, I'm making you uncomfortable." he lifted a finger to her lips and his voice caught, a grimace twisting across his mouth. "But it's important, I have to say this. When I met you, it seemed like the box slowly started to dissolve. The past few years, have been like living in a dream. I didn't know I could be this happy." He looked at her then, a piercing look, that she couldn't seem to respond to, just blush and stammer.
"A-and it's funny. It hurts a little, to feel this happy." he said softly, his voice catching. "But it's a sweet pain, the kind that settles in your very center and lives forever as dreams and memories."
Tohru frowned, not quite sure that she was understanding everything. Worrying about the last sentence. There seemed to be something odd. But then Yuki stepped forward, closing the gap between them.
Yuki's hand on her face was gentle. His skin was so soft, as his fingers lightly brushed the curve of her cheek, but the motion underneath it was firm and steady. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand, her thoughts flying away. It felt special every time Yuki touched her, like a thousand butterflies were tickling her underneath her skin and she could float away.
"So, I wanted to say thank you Tohru, for happiness. For turning the box inside out. For freeing me." he whispered the last as he leaned in, his lips touched hers, pressed lightly, sweetly against them and then he drew back. His eyes were serene now, but his skin was flushed. He smiled.
"Good-night Tohru"
She smiled.
"Good-night Yuki"
The next morning, she thought she might have dreamed it all. Thought it must surely be a dream, but a good one. As she walked downstairs, humming happily.
"I'll be going then" the cool, cultured tones brought her abruptly to the present. Akito stood in their entryway. Immaculate in a kimono that would have been feminine on any other man. He had a box tucked under his arm. It was odd, a shoe box with a spectacular pink bow. She frowned slightly, something about boxes.
Akito's hand started to slide the door open.
"No, wait!" she cried, suddenly frantic. Suddenly panicked, but unsure why.
"Akito-san, what's in the box?" dread settled into the pit of her stomach then, although she didn't know why, but she knew that feeling, that dread.
"A pet." Akito smiled coldly. "Someone tried to take it away, but it's mine." His gaze was icy.
She lunged for him then, but Shigure had grabbed her.
"Akito-sama, please, please don't do this." she didn't know how she sounded, didn't know anything, just the importance of the plea.
Akito tsked brusquely, "don't be stupid girl. Whose fault do you think this is anyway? Now I can't ever let him out of the box." he sighed, overflowing with irritation and stepped through the doorway, not bothering to close the door.
Tohru watched him as he drew farther and farther away. Until he disappeared. Shigure let go of her then. Without his support, she sank to the floor. Still staring through the doorway. Although now there was nothing to see. She squinted, knowing that she'd never be able to free Yuki, until she could see the box.
Years passed. Akito buried his pet mouse in a shoe box in one of his many gardens. Tohru Honda still sits at the entrance to Shigure Sohma's house, thinking about boxes.
A/N: Manga spoilers
Reading the manga, I couldn't help but think, sometimes no matter how hard we try, we don't succeed.
Tohru vowed to try to break the curse after her confrontation with Akito at the beach house. The manga is pretty vague about the curse. But the general idea seems to be that only the Juunishi can break it. It's implied that the curse is something of a mindset, that through Tohru's courage, kindness, optimism, quiet strength, etc she will affect the Juunishi around her and they will "break" the curse. But ultimately, it's up to each member of the Juunishi as to what they will do.
I deliberately left things vague. Clearly, Tohru thinks that she failed. But Yuki's opinion is probably very different.
Personally, it's devastating when someone close to you commits suicide. You keep on feeling that you failed them in some way. No matter how much time passes, their absence still aches and you wonder what you could have done that you didn't. How they could have made that decision without you realizing it. You never move on from that point, and neither do they.
I was kind of nervous about putting this fic up, since it's so dark, short, and unsatisfying. But it seemed like a very plausible dark ending for the manga, so I couldn't resist. I hope the spotty use of honorifics wasn't grating, I know that they're almost always used in conversation, but it seems like Tohru might not always use them in her thoughts, especially when she's tired (and it seriously breaks up the flow of the story . ). As always, I appreciate any reviews, especially constructive comments and criticism.