My heart was beating wildly, as if trying to urge me up. Urge me forward. But I was hemorrhaging from the wounds at my neck, losing blood faster than my body could handle. I tried to keep my breathing steady as I leaned against a tree. The bark against my back barely keep me upright, and I pressed myself into it to try to stay awake. My hand was held against my neck tightly.
Not like it mattered at this point, I realized. I was going to die.
The revelation wasn't an unsurprising one, but still tore the breath from my lungs. Pain shot through my chest, despair settling into my bones like an unshakable chill.
The hours had long passed and the dark had come. The stars peeked out, a personal gift to me from the universe as I lay dying. A clear night, in Forks. I stared unabashedly into the sky, gazing into an oblivion I'd never addressed. An open, endless universe that was as unknown as it was comforting. Tears welled in my eyes, but I refused to look away from the stars as they dripped down my cheeks.
I removed my hand, feeling a warm flow of blood slide down my shoulder. I thought idly that it should make me sick, but after an hour of bleeding my nose had gotten accustomed to the smell of iron. It had stained everything, painting the dead meadow before me. The ground was soaked with it. New flowers would grow here, grow from my body, through my ribcage and my skull.
No one would find me. Charlie would never know.
Fresh tears slid down my cheeks. My father, albeit not the best at many things, was the best father I could have asked for. I finally closed my eyes, playing a silent movie behind my eyelids. The summer visits, patient as I dragged him throughout the bookstores. The one summer visit to DisneyLand that ended with us lobster red but happy. We'd both vowed to do it again one day.
And then there was here. The truck he'd bought me, the lengths he went through to keep me safe and content. Eating dinner with me each night when he could, trying to be an active part of my life. And I'd taken so much for granted. And now there would never be another chance. He would be alone.
I coughed, finding is suddenly hard to breathe. My vision dimmed dangerously for a moment, before I regained it.
And then I saw him.
Just standing at the edge of the meadow, shimmering in and out of existence. I laughed, waving slightly. It was better when he waved back. And then he melted away. A vision of my own dying mind.
Edward.
I sobbed openly now, wrapping my arms around myself in a hug. The love that ripped through me was painful and invigorating, cleansing and burning. Despite his departure, despite the pain, despite everything, I knew I could never stop loving him. It tore through me, but pieced me together at the same time.
I love you, I thought wistfully. And I'll never stop.
After that, I was unable to hold myself up. I slumped to the ground, my eyes to the stars above. My breathing grew slow, my eyes heavy. It hurt less than I thought it would. I slipped away slowly and peacefully, in a place with the best memories and most beautiful view. I was gone before I realized it.
A small piece of paper drifted past the stars, right as I took my last breath and released it into the oblivion above me.
I was pulled into something that was unlike anything I'd ever encountered, yet everything I expected. It was warm, muted. Like a blanket. It was dark, yet bursting with colors I couldn't even describe, colors I'd never seen before. I was swaddled in a presence, but at the same time completely alone. I was floating in an ocean of contentedness.
I was everything and nothing at the same time.
It was peace.
Not a one shot. More like a drabble fic. Who knows. Reviews appreciated.
xox