Ron's... er, no... Dumbledore's Revenge

Ron's… Er, no… Dumbledore's Revenge
by Lily-chan (a. k. a. Kirei)

"Hermione who?" asked Crabbe.

Draco Malfoy rolled his eyes in the mirror. "Granger," he replied. He went back to frantically trying to smooth down his silvery-blond hair.

"Oh, the Mudblood?" snorted Goyle. Malfoy spun around, enraged.

"Do not address her by that… that horrid, insulting… filthy name!" he yelled, beginning to hyperventilate. "I love her."

* * *

Later, in the Great Hall, Malfoy spied Hermione at the Gryffindor table. She was laughing about something Ron Weasley had said. Draco caught himself staring dreamily at Hermione just as she glanced in his direction. She saw him, quit smiling, and scowled, then turned back to Harry and Ron, whispering furiously.

Malfoy sighed. "It's now or never," he thought to himself. Puffing out his chest, he strutted confidently over to the Gryffindor table.

"Hello, Hermione," Malfoy said. He tried not to make any remarks about the bit of food dribbling down Ron's chin, but his eyes lingered on it before focusing on Hermione again.

She looked up at him, and her expression turned sour. "What do you want, Malfoy?" Hermione asked impatiently.

Malfoy grinned. "Please," he said. "Call me Draco."

Ron, not bothering to hide his disgust, said to Hermione, "You'd better just get rid of him now, Hermione, or he'll probably keep following you around."

Malfoy was hurt. Well, pretty close, anyway. Hermione rose to her full height and shot Malfoy a dangerous look. "What're you up to this time?" she asked suspiciously.

"What do you mean, Hermione?" Malfoy asked, blinking innocently.

Hermione rolled her eyes, now even angrier than she had been before. Malfoy's stomach did flip-flops as he realized she was standing quite close to him.

"I know you're up to something," she said, furious. "We all know, so come on, out with it. What is it you're planning against us this time, you rotten, filthy…"

"Please!" said Draco, his hands shaking. "I just want to… to chat."

Hermione looked as though she had just watched someone being sick. "We don't chat," she said dully. "If you fancy chatting with a girl, Malfoy, you should try someone more… your own type. How about Millicent Bulstrode over there?"

She guestured to the Slytherin table, where Millicent was busily picking her nose.

Malfoy didn't listen. "Please," he repeated.

Behind him, Harry and Ron had begun to snicker loudly. "You sure sound desperate, Malfoy," Ron laughed. "Listen, we've all realized you're failing Transfiguration and need help, but man… your grades must be even worse than we thought, judging by-- !"

"This isn't about homework!" Malfoy found himself shouting again, but this time over the noise in the Great Hall. Many of the other students were now laughing uncontrollably at what Ron had said.

"I don't need help bringing up my grades!" Malfoy continued. "I don't want to trick you in any way! And I don't care about my 30% in Transfiguration class!"

Action: Harry raises his eyebrows and drops his jaw. "ORO?"

"I just need to talk to Hermione!" said Malfoy. "I…" He managed to raise his voice even more, so Hermione would be sure to hear him over the noise. "I…" He was stuttering, that couldn't have been good. "I- I…" Don't be nervous, he reminded himself. "I…"

And with that, the noise level in the Great Hall dropped dramatically. It became almost… silent. But Malfoy was already shouting again. "I love you, Hermione Granger!"

Everyone gasped and turned in their seats to look at Malfoy. Hermione froze, eyes watering now, face going red; Ron's jaw dropped and his eyes widened; Parvati Patil, who had been laughing very quietly with Lavender Brown, stopped mid-giggle.

Harry dropped his fork, which landed with a loud CLANG! on the floor, breaking the silence. It also seemed to re-awaken Hermione, who had been in a state of shock.

"How could you do this to me?" she shrieked, running from the Great Hall with her hands over her tear-streaked face. "I hate you!"

Ron, who had also been temporarily in shock, got up from his seat and charged at Malfoy, who was looking sadly after Hermione. Ron's arms were extended in front of his body as he ran at full speed.

Malfoy turned and saw Ron, heard him bellowing, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!" at the top of his lungs, but he didn't get out of the way quick enough.

A split second later, the back of Malfoy's head hit the ground. Hard. When he opened his eyes, all he could see was Ron Weasley, above him in midair, coming down fast…

"OOF."

Malfoy struggled, but to his surprise, Ron was stronger. Sitting on top of Malfoy, Ron punched him in every part of the face he could.

"Get off, Weasley!" Malfoy panted. But Ron couldn't hear him. The students had formed a circle around where Malfoy lay, being beaten by a furious Ron. "Fight!" they screamed. "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Hesitating, Harry got down on the ground and started to help.

Ginny Weasley broke into tears. "St-stop it, Ron!" she sobbed. "Ron! Ron, get off him! You'll hurt him, Ron!"

Colin Creevey was madly clicking away with his camera. "So what if they hurt him?" he asked Ginny excitedly. "Harry's great! Look at him fight!" He turned back to the struggling heap that was Harry, Ron, and Draco. "Way to go, Harry!" he squeaked.

Neville Longbottom tried to comfort the sobbing Ginny while Fred and George dove into the fight with fake wands in their hands (they had turned into a rubber chicken and a broken umbrella), pretending they were swords. Cho Chang, who had been watching from the Ravenclaw table, called out, "Harry! Oh no, are you alright?" just as Draco kicked him hard in the ribs.

"J-just… urgh… fine!" he replied, elbowing Malfoy in the stomach.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS?"

Everyone immediately stopped yelling and looked up. "You could hear a pin drop across the room," thought Harry, and he told Ron so, when--

BOOM. "Ouch…" Neville had fallen off of his chair.

Dumbledore stepped through the crowd, speaking with cold fury in his voice. "I asked you a question, boys," he said, scraping the Weasley twins up off the floor.

Harry and Ron got up, and everyone continued to peer down at Malfoy, whom no one had helped to his feet. He was still lying on the floor.

"Mr. Weasley," said Dumbledore, glaring at Ron, "I am very disappointed in you." Ron hung his head, ashamed. "I know, sir," he muttered. "I'm sorry."

Dumbledore had climbed up onto a chair. "You're supposed to do it like this!"

Before anyone could stop him, he shouted, "BODYSLAM!"