Disclaimer: None of the pick-up lines work. Do not try this in real life.
Notes: Hey everybody! The date that I made this is special day for me! So I've given myself a gift and I'll share this gift with you! It's nothing really special! But I would be happy if you review.
Pick-up Lines
"Life at school has never been the same."
"Inui, do you know any suave romantic lines that would make a person fall head over heels for you?" Fuji asked one boring afternoon in Seishun Gakuen. Inui pushed his eyeglasses upward, a smile etched on his face.
"You mean pick-up lines?"
Fuji thought for a moment, not sure if it is the right term to call that. He smiled at Inui.
"Uh, I think so."
"That's easy. I know a lot of pick-up lines Fuji, pick-up lines are 99.8 percent effective to swoop the feet of your love one,"
"Really?" Fuji's face lit up that he didn't notice the lopsided grin Inui was having. Fuji can really be so naïve sometimes.
"Yeah, I'll give you an example, Kaidoh!!" Inui yelled at a certain second year student who was jogging around the court for a while. He stopped and turned around when Inui called on his name.
"What is it, Inui senpai?"
"I hate to say this but…you're like my underwear Kaidoh,"
"Nani??" Kaidoh's eyes bulged out mouth wide open. Fuji looked at Inui as if he was out of his mind.
"Cause I can't last a day without you," Inui finished. Kaidoh turned beet red from humiliation in front of Fuji and the rest of the walking students.
"Go to hell! Fssssh…" he yelled and stomped away. Inui looked at Fuji.
"See, that was so effective," he said smoothly.
"That's what you call…effective?" Fuji questioned. However Eiji heard about it and rushed to see Oishi at the other end of the court. Oishi saw Eiji buzzing along with him and smiled.
"Eiji-kun what are you doing?"
"I'm a bee," he beamed. Oishi's eyebrow shot in inquiry.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm a bee! Can you be my honey?" Oishi's mouth dropped until it reached the ground then fainted.
Momoshiro heard the commotion and asked Eiji.
"What happened?"
"Mou, I tried a pick-up line with Oishi but he fainted!!"
Momoshiro put his hand on his chin and a bright idea came on his mind. He grabbed his bike and headed towards Fudomine. There, he spotted Ann sitting on a bench.
"Tachibana's sister!" he called. Ann ignored him and continued reading her notes. Momoshiro approached her and sat beside her.
"Ann…" he started his voice slightly shaking. Ann turned to see his face and urged him to continue.
"Hey, did you fart?" he asked. Ann slapped him hard and glared at him.
"Idiot, I don't want to see you ever again!"
"Wait… I'm not yet finished with my line…" Momoshiro wailed as he followed the fuming Ann. Kamio, Tachibana and Shinji passed by them. Kamio asked Ann.
"Ann what's wrong?"
"This idiot following me is accusing me of farting!"
"Bastard, what did you say to Ann?" Kamio asked through gritted teeth as he grabbed Momoshiro's collar.
"I'm trying to pick her up with a line. I was telling her if she fart coz she blew me away! Now, get your hands off me or I'll punch you,"
Shinji looked at the two of them disinterestedly and Ann left the scene before she could destroy them both.
"Hey captain," Shinji called on Tachibana. Tachibana looked at him in response.
"If you're a ball and I'm the player can I shoot you?"
Tachibana looked at him blankly.
"What are you muttering?"
"I can't shoot you because I'll keep missing you,"
Tachibana abruptly left the scene to follow his sister.
Mizuki, along with a few St. Rudolph students, came to Fudomine's school.
"Ah Ibu Shinji, I would like to ask you if you would like to join our team and ditch your old school, St. Rudolph is a good place to hone your skills after all," Mizuki said in his sickeningly sweet voice. Shinji merely looked at him before muttering something.
"Are you a monster?"
"What?" Mizuki said highly offended.
"Coz you're so ugly,"
Mizuki opened his mouth to retort but Yuuta stopped him.
"Why did you say that to our manager?" Yuuta calmly asked for an explanation.
"I'm trying to pick up a line with him. They say that pick-up lines are effective to ward off evil spirits but maybe I was wrong. What is a pick-up line? I better ask the cockroaches on the drainage later on," and with that Shinji left the scene, leaving two morons fighting with each other and a couple of dumbfounded St. Rudolph students.
"Yuuta!" a familiar voice shouted. Yuuta turned around to see Saeki with his two other friends, Bane and David.
"What's going on here? I was going to pay Tachibana a visit but this scene is much more entertaining," he said as he pointed out Momoshiro and Kamio.
"Everybody's talking about pick-up line, that's so stupid…" Yuuta grumbled. Saeki just grinned at him.
"Oh, This must be Fuji's doing," Saeki muttered under his breath. Yuuta heard him.
"Aniki's the culprit?"
Saeki flashed a smile before entering the gates of Fudomine. "I know it's Fuji who started this,"
David looked at Bane meaningfully and Bane tapped him to speak up.
"Oi, moron what are you staring at?"
"Don't desert me because you're my dessert in this dessert-like deceitful world that's always deserting my deserting dessert," David said with a straight face. Bane took a deep breath before punching David.
"You're trying to pick me up with a line?" he asked his eyes smoking with anger. David merely nodded.
"What you did was spurt nonsense tongue twister,"
"What? Pick-up lines are highly effective?" Atobe repeated over the phone. Oshitari was standing by his side along with the other regular members of Hyoutei Academy.
"Ore-sama ordered you to spy on Fudomine's tennis team not to collect gossip of some sort," Atobe screeched before he threw the cell phone away.
"I will do the data gathering for you," Oshitari offered. Atobe stared at him, rested his head on his palm for a while before opening his mouth.
"Oshitari, do you have a license?"
"Yes I do have one, why?"
"Coz you're driving me crazy,"
"Pardon me?" Oshitari managed to squeak out after processing what Atobe has just said. Atobe turned around, obviously irked at Oshitari's response. He then dialed a number on his new cell phone. The other person on the end of the line picked it up.
"What do you want," Tezuka asked; his voice monotonous as ever.
"Do you have a dictionary?" Atobe asked in a deadpan voice.
"Yes, why did you ask?" You have money to buy your own. Tezuka asked looking more irritated than the usual.
"Because you give meaning to Ore-sama's life,"
"What—" Tezuka started but noticed that Atobe had already hung up.
"100 lapses for everyone!"
Atobe was busy skimming over his phone book and Oshitari seemed to regain his sanity when Gakuto arrived.
"Yuushi, do you have a gum?"
"No, I don't have one why?" Oshitari asked uncertainly when he saw a familiar gleam in Gakuto's eyes.
"Cause I feel like chewing you,"
Oshitari felt like he really needed a break from school.
"Ore-sama will call one more person," Atobe mumbled to himself. He waited until the receiver picked up the phone.
"Atobe, what made you call?" Sanada asked suspiciously, his phone a little far away from his ears.
"Oh, Ore-sama was just asking if you know someone who could fix watches,"
"I thought you throw things that are already broken. Why don't you buy a new one?"
"Well Ore-sama won't buy a new one; it's partly your fault," Atobe huffed.
Sanada put his phone a little closer to his ears. "Why is it my fault?"
"It's because the time had stopped when I was with you,"
Sanada thought that he was hearing things.
"Would you mind repeating that again?"
"Goodbye,"
"Sanada-san, who are you talking to?" Yanagi asked when he saw the weird expression Sanada was having.
"I think someone just picked me up with a line,"
"Oh, really? Did you know that there's 99.8 percent chance that the one you love would fall head over heels with you when you picked him up with a line?"
"Really?" Sanada asked innocently, oblivious to the lopsided grin Yanagi was having.
"Yeah,"
"Did you hear that Yagyuu? Is that true?" Marui asked while popping his gum. Yagyuu looked murderous all of a sudden.
"Don't ever listen to Yanagi's advice when it comes to romance stuff. It's like asking for death itself,"
"Really, is that true Jackal?" Marui turned towards to ask the bald guy shaving his head.
"Yeah, one guy asked Yanagi to help him gain Yukimura-buchou's trust and the poor guy ended up in hospital,"
"Really?" Marui asked incredulously, his gum popping out on his mouth.
"Yukimura turned in his devil mode that time, that was so scary," Jackal shuddered.
Marui looked at Sanada talking to Yanagi and sighed.
"I hope Sanada-fukubuchou won't end up the same fate that guy had,"
"So how do I express a…a pick-up line?" Sanada asked which turned out like an order.
"You need to pick a line first," Yanagi insisted. Sanada thought for a while before speaking up his mind.
"Are you a cliff? Coz' I keep falling for you," he said blandly. Marui burst out laughing at the back.
"No, you need to choose a persistent line," Yanagi coaxed.
"I hope I'm like a 'T' so that I'm always next to 'U'," Sanada spoke in a deadpan voice. Jackal snorted in an attempt not to laugh. Marui seemed like he was about to die.
"No, that's not persistent enough," Yanagi stressed out, his eyebrow twitching.
"What's your height? How did you fit in to my heart?"
Jackal picked up the now unconscious Marui and headed to the infirmary. Kirihara heard Sanada and whispered to Yagyuu.
"I didn't know Sanada-fukubuchou has a heart,"
"Just listen, Kirihara. It's part of curriculum activities,"
"It is?"
Yanagi sighed in dismay as he handed Sanada's phone to him urging him to call on Yukimura.
"I give up teaching you, I didn't know you're so hopeless,"
Sanada dialed Yukimura's phone and waited patiently for the other line to pick it up.
"Genichirou," Yukimura greeted in his soft, gentle voice. The nurse helped Yukimura to sit up on the bed. Sanada's mind went blank as he asked a random question to Yukimura.
"Are you tired?"
"Huh? No, I just had a good sleep…why?" Sanada could feel Yukimura's radiant smile on the phone.
"No, I was just asking because you've been running on my mind for the whole time," Sanada said in one go. Yukimura took a moment before he smiled in a different way, face slightly flushing. The nurse looked at the patient's feature and contentedly closed the door.
"Will you visit more often?" was Yukimura's reply. Sanada snapped out of his reverie before answering with a dazed smile. "I will,"
Yanagi turned around and smiled. Yagyuu gave a meaningful look on Kirihara and Kirihara got the idea.
"So, that's Fukubuchou's main point of weakness,"
"I wonder what Tezuka-buchou is so angry about," Arai asked his fellow team mates as they crawled back to the locker room.
"I heard he received a phone call from someone,"
"That must be a serious thing, making Tezuka-buchou so angry,"
"Shhh, don't talk. Tezuka is just around the corner. Go home now," Oishi ushered the rest of the team and all of them willingly obliged.
"Tezuka," a familiar voice called on. Tezuka knew who the owner of the voice was even without turning around.
"What is it Fuji?" I am so irritated right now. I don't want to hear any stupid pick-up lines here and there.
Fuji remained silent as if he was reading Tezuka's mind. He tugged Tezuka's shirt which made the latter turned around.
"What—"
"I love you," Fuji said, his eyes opened revealing a pair of beautiful gem-like eyes. Tezuka sighed as he placed his hand on Fuji's shoulder.
"That was the most convincing pick-up line I've ever heard," he commented silently that Fuji has to lean on to him in order to hear him.
"That's not a pick-up line," he whispered against Tezuka's ear. Tezuka looked at Fuji's eyes and searched for an explanation. When he found none, he slowly bent down and gave Fuji a chaste kiss, their lips merely touching.
"I'm glad it wasn't," he whispered when their lips parted by mere centimeters. Fuji closed the gap once more, returning a more passionate, satiating kiss at Tezuka.
"And your reply?" he asked in between their ragged breathing.
"I love you too,"
The End
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Notes: Thanks for reading. Drop by your reviews and type what you think of this story. Thank you very much everyone!