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"Are we there yet, Pintel?"

"No."

"How about now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No!!!! Shaddup and keep rowing!!!!"

"Will you tell me a story? A fairy tale?"

"If you'll shut up."

"..."

"Okay, so there was this prince.."

"Aren't fairy tales supposed to start with 'Once upon a time'?"

"Ragetti, what did I tell you?"

"To shut up?"

"Yeah. So be QUIET!!"

"..."

"That's better. So this prince, Asi, was in love with this girl."

"Who was the girl?"

"Do you understand the meaning of the phrase 'Be quiet'?"

"Yeah."

"Then let me tell the story!!"

"...eep."

"Alright, so he loved this girl. Loved her to the ends of time. But she didn't love 'im, see? So he goes, a-courting and a-wooing, to no avail. No matter what sweet kiss he gave, what beautiful presents he gave her, she still turned him down. He was a man obsessed.

"So he gets desperate. He goes to Maleficent to get a potion. Now Maleficent's the Queen of Darkness. A right old hag."

"Worse than the Frenchie who thought of Parley?"

"Aye. So she gives him a potion to make the girl swoon for him. For a price of course. If the girl did not love him, his heart would belong to her forevermore."

"Forever ever?"

"Aye, forever. Stupid git accepts the offer. So he gives it to his lady love. It works, for a while. They marry, she squeezes out a couple kids. But eventually it wore off, as potions are oft to do. And as it wore off, the girl grew depressed and began to slip into madness. Asi, blinded by his love, did nothing. So one day, when she came up to him and gave him the sweetest kiss that the two had ever shared, she told him that she loved him. To death. And she parted, the memory of her kiss haunting Asi's lips.

"She was found in the attic five hours later, having suffered a self-inflicted short drop and a sudden stop. Asi was inconsolable. He would not come out of his grief-induced stupor for a month. And when he did, he could still feel her haunting kiss. It would not leave him alone. It haunted him day and night. His emotions drove him crazy, even a year after the fact. His children could not console him. Nothing could.

"So in his wild grief, he returned to Maleficent. He begged her to remove his emotions, to get rid of the pain. She obliged. She ripped out his heart. Now he could no longer feel, the only time his rage surfacing was when he lost control. Otherwise, he was the perfect gent. He was damned to the night now, with a new name and a new purpose. A new obsession, one that would leave to his death.

"But still the kiss haunted him. It would not go. It was his sin, his cross to bear. For one does not meddle in the affairs of the heart..."

"That's not a fairy tale, Pintel."

"Course it is. It's got a prince, a witch, thwarted love..."

"But it don't end happily!"

"You never asked for a happy ending!!"

"It was implied!!"

"Ah, shaddup and start rowing. We need to get out of here and find the Pearl."

"Yes, Pintel."

Author's Note: Wow. This is for Silver Moon Droplet's contest. You had to write a tragic fairy tale and use a word at least twice. The word that I was to use at least twice was Kiss. And this was the result.

I honestly have no clue where this came from. I went to the zoo with my family today, and this idea popped into my head. I had a different idea for my fic originally, but it didn't work out. This idea randomly appeared in my head when I was staring blankly at the meerkats and naming them after different Organization XIII members . I know. Weird. Anyway I went with it. This is for you Silver, as you are the one who got me onto are appreciated.