Music and laughter filled the night air as Tom drove the car to the front of the house. There were several other cars also waiting in the drive in front of the house, their chauffeurs were huddled together in a small group beside one of the cars. He had been summoned to take the Dowager home although from the sounds from the house the party wasn't over yet.
Listening to the sounds coming from the house, Tom recalled how upset Sybil was that her parents were having this party. She had come to the garage one afternoon last week to air her feelings on the subject.
"There's a war going on. How can they think about entertaining?" Sybil was indignant. "And I have to attend like it is a command appearance" Sybil continued as she paced up and down the garage.
"Is it a special occasion?" Tom inquired thinking that her parents wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or some other important event.
"We'll be dining and dancing while just feet away will be men who can't walk" Sybil continued as if she hadn't heard Tom's question.
"Are any of the officers invited?"
"None of the ones convalescing here. But there's some officers from Papa's regiment that are in the area so they'll be coming. It's only a small gathering according to Mama but she's looking forward to entertaining again."
Judging by the number of cars parked in front of the Abbey, Tom thought he and Lady Grantham obviously had a difference of opinion regarding what was a "small" gathering. He wondered how Sybil was enjoying her command appearance and whether or not she would be able to get away to visit him in the garage.
He was sure she'd try to visit if for no other reason than to tell him again how terrible it was to be carrying on as if there was no war, as if the house wasn't full of wounded men. They'd talk of so many things but not what Tom really wanted to talk about.
From the corner of his eye, Tom caught a movement coming towards the house. His breath was taken away when he glanced over towards the movement and saw Sybil bathed in the star lit sky. She was wearing one of her finer gowns and her beauty once again made Tom's heart ache. But his thoughts were totally redirected when he realized she was not alone. In fact she was walking with her arm holding the arm of a tall lanky young man that Tom had never seen before. The way Sybil was leaning into him the two looked quite cozy. The man must have said something funny because suddenly Sybil looked at him and laughed. The laugh that usually made Tom beam instead made his heart sink a little more.
Standing by the car, unseen by Sybil and her companion, Tom fingered the letter in his pocket once more. He couldn't take it out and read it in the pale light coming from the house but then he didn't need to because he had almost memorized it. His thoughts on the letter's contents were broken by Carson announcing the Dowager was ready.
As he moved to the side of the car to help the Dowager into it, Sybil finally noticed Tom. Since the Dowager's back was to her, Sybil allowed herself to smile broadly at Tom. But the look he gave her in return had no warmth only sadness.
As the car pulled away, Sybil suddenly remembered that she was not alone. She had left the party "to get some air" but in reality to go see Tom. When she walked out of the front door, Sybil had seen one of the convalescing officers standing outside. Approaching him Sybil asked if he needed any help.
"I just wanted to take advantage of the quiet and look at the stars" the officer replied. "Although I'm not sure how far I can walk."
Torn between her desire to see Tom and her duty as a nurse, Sybil said "I'll walk with you."
A decision Sybil was glad she made since the soldier was not that steady on his feet and stumbled several times. They hadn't walked very far just to the corner of the house. It was a clear night and the stars were so bright that Sybil was caught up in the beauty of the sky.
"After so many months in the hospital and now here, I just long to be outdoors" the soldier suddenly spoke waking Sybil from her thoughts.
"Where is home?" Sybil inquired as she looked at the young man. Sybil knew he had been at Downton for over a month yet she hadn't really talked to him before. His injuries had healed enough that by the time he had come to Downton he didn't really need much nursing but rather just time to continue the healing process. Although it was obvious that he would always walk with a limp and the need for a cane.
Sybil and the officer, Dan he had told her was his name, chatted amiably for a few minutes until she could tell that he needed to sit down. He leaned on her more heavily on the walk back to the front door than he had when they had started.
Sybil felt she needed to help Dan return to his bed. Upon returning to the great hall, Sybil debated whether to just go to the garage and wait for Tom to return from taking Granny home. However, before she could make her decision or her getaway, Cora spied Sybil in the hall.
"It's too early to leave the party" her mother stated. "You haven't talked with either of the Amberly boys yet."
"I was helping one of the soldiers get back to his bed" replied Sybil.
"Your nursing duties ended hours ago. Someone else can take over. You need some time to relax and enjoy yourself" her mother chided. "Now come back immediately."
It was almost two hours later when Sybil was finally able to get away from the party a second time and approached the garage. Although the party was still in progress, Sybil didn't think her absence would be noticed. If it was later noted, she could always say she was just getting some fresh air. However, much to Sybil's surprise, when she reached the garage the doors were closed and no cracks of light glimmered through the darkness. She knew Tom had returned the car to the garage because he'd always leave the doors open when taking a short trip like taking Granny or cousin Isobel home. It just wasn't like Tom to retire to his cottage so early. She knew that he usually stayed late in the garage in case she was able to get away from the house.
Remembering the look he had given her when helping Granny into the car, she hoped that he wasn't ill. Sybil walked around the garage to the small chauffeur's cottage. But that too was cloaked in darkness. She lifted her hand to knock when it occurred to her that maybe he was just tired and had retired early for once.
Always available to take her to the hospital regardless of the time as well as driving everyone else, he did keep such long hours. And then of course there were all the hours he and Sybil would talk. No, she wouldn't disturb him. It was probably better to let him catch up on his rest and she really should return to the house.
But Tom was not asleep although he was lying in his bed staring at the ceiling. He had waited for over an hour after he returned from taking the Dowager home but Sybil hadn't come to the garage. Why had he even thought she would come tonight? Was she taking another walk with that gent? The type of man her parents would approve of. The type of man for whom she wouldn't have to give up the kind of life she had been born to.
Tom spent a restless night thinking of his situation. Should he leave or should he stay. He liked his job and the pay was good, although he knew he was really only staying because of Sybil. It had been almost two years since he had made his feelings known yet she had never given him a direct answer. He had convinced himself that she was in love with him – after all she found so many ways to be alone with him.
She always came in person to order the car instead of having one of the other servants do it. With her working at the hospital he knew he would spend part of each day taking her to and from the hospital. So many times on the way home from the hospital they would sit in the car just beyond the entrance to the long driveway and talk or she would go with him to the garage and sit with him while he worked or at least pretended to work on the car. And even when she was working at the house instead of the hospital she would often find time to come see him.
But now Tom thought it was fanciful dreaming that Sybil would ever decide to go to Ireland with him. He thought too much of her to think she was just playing with him. Sybil was too kind for that. He knew that Sybil didn't really have anyone to talk to. Although she was surrounded by people, Sybil couldn't talk to her family about the war or her nursing. Neither of her parents fully accepted Sybil's work as a nurse and her sisters were too involved in their own lives to listen to Sybil. So by default Tom was the one person Sybil had to talk with. She could freely tell him of the good and the bad of her job. Some days Sybil was devastated by what she had experienced at the hospital while other days she was so excited. Maybe all she really viewed him as was someone to talk to.
While Tom was so proud of Sybil and her work as a nurse, it hurt him to see her with the officers at the so called convalescent home. He was jealous that they could freely talk to her or walk in the gardens with her while his and Sybil's conversations were confined to the car and the garage hidden from all those around them. He could never openly speak to her in sight of or within hearing distance of others. He saw the way some of these officers looked at Sybil and it crushed him even more although Sybil never gave any indication she was interested in any of these men other than as patients.
Talking to him about politics or her work was one thing but to give up her posh life to live with him was another thing. He had seen how happy she looked last night holding onto that man. A man obviously her parents would approve of. A man invited to the party. A man Sybil felt comfortable enough to walk in the moonlight with. A man Tom envied and hated.
His brother was offering him a real opportunity. The garage in Manchester where Kieran worked was for sale and Kieran asked Tom to go in with him and buy it. Kieran wrote that the garage was profitable and he had ideas that could make it even more so. It was finally a chance for the brothers to own something and not work for others. It was a way for Tom to leave service.
Tom hadn't talked to Sybil about his brother's offer. What if she said it was a wonderful opportunity and of course he had to accept the offer. What if she said she didn't want him to leave but still didn't give him her answer to his proposal. He was afraid she'd say go and he was afraid she'd say stay.
The next morning, even though he was fearful he was making the biggest mistake of his life, Tom handed in his resignation to Carson. He had thought he should give notice and stay for a week or two for he knew it would be hard to find a replacement for him with the war ongoing. But after thinking about it, Tom thought he didn't really owe any loyalty to the Crawleys. He had been hired for a job which he did and did well. In the past few months, he had done much more around the house – helping with moving furniture, repairing boilers, lots of work that wasn't in his duties as chauffeur. Of course all work that required his brawn and not his brains as if the Crawleys would ever see him beyond that.
But the biggest reason to leave immediately was Sybil. If he saw her again he might waiver in his decision. He would look at those blue eyes and beguiling smile and fall in love more deeply. He would come up with all sorts of reasons to stay telling himself it was just a matter of time. She would come around. She loved him. No, he told himself, he was a fool.
Tom was gone from Downton before Sybil finished her shift at the hospital.