Tell Me You Love Me
The tiny old man on the screen was up to his antics again, he said his famous catch phrase "You people are too rich!" we said in unison with him. We were sitting together in Greg's storage unit, watching Lil Butler and laughing. It was a nostalgic feeling that seemed to emanate between them. This was the same way as it had started before… Suddenly we heard fireworks in the distance. I felt a sinking feeling in my gut, but I ignored it. I knew that Greg would want to leave, but I didn't want the fun to end. However, it seemed like Greg was not on the same boat.
"What's that?" he asked suspiciously, stopping to listen more carefully. "I'm missing the fireworks! It's past midnight! How did I get so sucked into this show again?!" he stood up, annoyed. "It's like everything else just disappears! Uuuugh!" he started to walk away.
"Whoa, whoa, don't go!" I said, grabbing him by the sleeve and leading him back. "We're having a really good time! Here look, I've got the two-part Hawaii special." I said in a playful, sing-song voice and popped-in the tape.
"But Steven really wanted me to do New Year's…" Greg said worried.
"He'll be fine! It's Steven, he's tough!" I said with a dismissive wave of my hand.
"I wanted to be there!" he complained. He tried to walk away again, his eyes closing disapprovingly.
"Here, here, it would have been like this," I said, stretching out my arms to stop him again. I backed away and shapeshifted into Steven to do a gag, doing an impression of Steven saying, "Whoa, fireworks! Huhuhuhuhuh! Hey Dad, come on! Now let's watch some Lil' Butler!" but Greg did not seem to find it as funny as I did.
"Amethyst, you know how I feel about shapeshifting." He said sternly. I got annoyed.
"Gee sorry, I was just trying to cheer you up…" I felt a little sheepish but I didn't let it get me down. I went and shapeshifted into him next to tease him some more. "Oh that's right, I forgot you're soooo seeensitiiive!" I mocked, leaning against him and curling my hair with my finger. He quickly backed away from me, more annoyed.
"I know you like making me uncomfortable, but it's not funny. I can't stay here and humor you, I have to be there for my son!" he refuted. Now I was getting mad. I shaped back into myself.
"Well what about me, huh?! I had someone who was always there for me until she started hanging out with YOU!" I snapped, pointing my index figer at him defiantly.
"Don't do this Amethyst, seriously." He warned.
"I bet you'd stay for her!"
"You wouldn't!" he snarled.
"What? Do this?" I said before shifting into Rose. He immediately turned around and put his hands over his ears so as not to see or hear me.
"Hey Greg?" I sang. "Turn around! Check it out!"
"I know you're doing it! I wanna be friends again, I really do, but I can't let you do this to me again!" he whined.
"STOP!" suddenly we heard Steven's voice coming from close by. I spun around and faced him, shocked that he was standing there on top of the couch yelling at us, Lil Butler was still playing in the background. It suddenly went fuzzy.
"What are you two doing?!" he shouted incredulously. Greg and I just stood there shocked, our mouths hanging open and eyes wide, unable to speak.
"I get it. It's hard to deal with stuff from the past. You wanna put it off because there's tons of it, and it's really heavy, and it means a lot to you so it's hard to let anything go. But you gotta because this thing is FULL! Seriously, when did you even have a cat?!" he lectured us, ending it by throwing the old cat cage we used to use back when Greg used to take me to Vidalia's as a cat. I was ashamed. He was right, I was having a hard time really letting go of how things ended before. I ran away, unable to look at Greg or Steven in the eyes anymore.
As I ran away back towards the temple, I cried and contemplated through my racing thoughts. How could I have pushed for this again? It was so painful the first time... I wondered what the heck was wrong with me. I hid in my room at the temple for a while.
I thought back at how this all started. It was soon after we had first met baby Steven. One day I had gone looking to visit little Steven at Vidalia's house, where Greg had been crashing on the couch for a while. But when I showed up, they weren't home. Vidalia told me Greg had gone with Steven to a storage Unit on the outskirts of town. She gave me the address and I found it easily.
"Helloooo? Greeeeg? Steveeeen? Are you here?" I asked as I looked around the boxes and piles of neat old things.
"Amethyst? Is that you? We're over here!" I heard Greg shout. I followed the sound of his voice and saw that he was looking through a box, little Steven was playing with some keys on an old couch.
"Hey man, what are you doing over here?" I said to Greg but at the same time I was picking up Steven and swinging him around, making the baby laugh.
"Oh, I was just looking through some of Rose's stuff… She had gotten something for Steven a while ago but I can't seem to find it… I don't think it's in here after all." he said this kind of sadly but with a forced smile. It bummed me out to see him like that. I put Steven back down on the couch.
"Well maybe we can find it together!" I said as I started to look around the packed space.
"Oh, Amethyst, you really don't have to bother yourself- he began to say but I didn't listen. Instead I seized a random box and started pulling things out.
"Is it this?"
"Uh- no,"
"How about this?"
"No! and Stop, it's really ok!"
"Well what's it look like?"
"It was just a blue rattle, but Steven has a bunch of other rattles already. Just forget about it." He said.
"Oh…" I frowned. I still wanted to find some way to make him feel better… Suddenly baby Steven was crying.
"Oh no! Steven, what's the matter, buddy?!" Greg quickly rushed over and picked up the baby, bouncing him gently in his arms. But Steven just kept crying.
"Did you lose your keys again? Uh… let's see…" Greg looked around the floor for the keys but they were nowhere to be found.
"Maybe they are still on the couch somewhere?" I went over to the couch to check the cushions, but they weren't there either.
"Darn, that's too bad, he gets entertained with those for hours!" he said worried as Steven continued to wail.
"Uh- don't cry Steven! Look! Check this out!" I said as I shape shifted into a little giraffe. It seemd to get Steven's attention.
"You like that?! Well how about this!" I shifted into an elephant. Steven started calming down and watching me more closely. I kept changing into wacky shapes and creatures and eventually Steven was laughing like crazy.
"This is great! I haven't seen him laugh this much, like, ever!" Greg mused, laughing himself. I felt a little pang inside… it was nice to see Greg smiling again.
"Haha! Really?! Well I'm glad I could cheer him up!" I said, as I smiled in the shape of a kangaroo.
"It's funny cause I find it kind of freaky how you gems can changed shapes like that, but I'm glad Steven seems to really like it." He said teasing.
"Freaky?! Naw, you wish you could be as cool as us gems!" I retorted as I changed back into my normal form.
"Pfft!... Well, thanks for stopping by to see us, Amethyst. But I guess we should head out of here. I need to put Steven down for the night soon," he began to say.
"Oh, I get it. Human babies need to sleep a lot right?" I said kind of bummed out. I was actually having fun here… and it had been a while since I'd felt this good. But as I was about to turn to head out, I saw a box on the ground near the TV with some weird bunch of black, plastic rectangles.
"Hey, what are these things, Greg?" I asked excitedly, holding up one of the rectangles.
"Hm? Oh! That's my collection of VHS tapes! I have tons of recorded shows on there!" he beamed.
"Shows? What's that?"
"You know, sitcoms? TV programs? Don't tell me you've never watched one before?!" he said incredulously.
"Uuuh, nope! Never seen anything like that." I said, shaking my head.
"Well they are classics from the 80's and 90's! There's 'Everybody Hates Raymond', 'Best Friends', 'The Urkle Show', and my favorite of all time 'Lil' Butler'." He said.
"Oh? What's so great about Lil Butler?" I asked.
"What's so great about-!?" he shouted shocked, "You know what, you just gotta see it to understand."
"Well I'm down if you are!" I said. He smiled at me.
"Ok! I guess we can watch an episode before we go home!" Greg said as he popped-in the first tape and we sat down on the couch together. Steven was giggling and sitting on Greg's lap. The next thing I knew, we were laughing and guffawing at the show. It was great! We even watched two more episodes… By the time Greg remembered to go home, Steven had fallen asleep on us and it was dark outside. Before we went our separate ways though, I said to him,
"This was a lot of fun, Greg. Can we watch more sometime?"
"Sure! I had a great time, too! Let's meet up again…" he started.
"Tomorrow?!" I finished for him.
"Pfft! Ok, ok! But we can't stay this late if Steven is with us. I'll meet you here after I get out of work." And so I went back to the temple that night with a little warmth in my heart.
Soon this became routine for us; after I did my mission stuff and he worked at the carwash, we met up at the storage unit, Steven, Greg and I watched Lil Butler until nightfall, Steven fell asleep, we went our separate ways. Eventually we were doing this for days on end. Greg said he was also getting scolded by Vidalia for keeping a toddler out late like that. Greg stopped bringing Steven over and let Vidalia baby sit while we hung out. I was starting to show up late in the mornings for missions and I was getting scolded and lectured by Pearl and Garnet like every day. But I dismissed their comments. I just wanted to be with Greg more and more… They said I already hung around him enough when I visited him and Vidalia, but that was no longer enough for me. I always felt so good being alone with him and having fun, not worrying about anything. Our Lil Butler time was sacred.
On one evening, after we had been hanging out for a couple of months, I went to see Greg as usual.
"Oh boy, today we are watching the grand finale of the show, I wonder how it will go down!" I was talking to myself as I went into the storage unit. I saw Greg facing away from me, his head hanging low. I could hear him sniffling.
"Oh Rose, this is so hard… and I know what we talked about, that you will always be with me in some way, but it's just so painful… I wish I could see you, just one more time." he sobbed. My heart was breaking for him. I didn't like seeing him so upset.
"Greg?" I speak up carefully. He whips around to face me, wiping the tears form his eyes.
"Oh! Amethyst! I-I was just- uh… about to put it the last Lil Butler tape and some dust must have just got in my eye!" he said laughing awkwardly.
"You know Greg, I get it. I miss Rose, too." I said this trying to help him open up. He ended up falling on his knees and crying some more,
"Wait don't cry, I-I want to cheer you up!" I shapeshifted into different animals and silly things, but Greg is not cheered up so easily as usual.
"I'm sorry, it's not one of those things I can be cheered up over. I just need to be alone for a while, ok?" he said as he buried his face in his hands. I became more frustrated, I wanted to make him happy so badly! And then I got a brilliant idea. I shapeshifted one more time.
"Greg, look." I said gently. When he looked up at me, his eyes grow wide in panic.
"Rose… I mean, A-Amethyst, what are you doing?!" he sobbed shaking his head.
"Didn't you say you wanted to see her one more time? Just pretend I'm her." I offered, opening my arms to him like Rose would do. He got up slowly and then ran into my arms, hugging me tight and crying uncontrollably and saying Rose's name over and over. I hugged him in return, rubbing his back to calm him down. We stayed like that for a while. When his crying finally stopped, I said enthusiastically,
"Hey Greg, you wanna watch the finale of Lil B?"
He says yes, now more cheerful. We watched Lil Butler together, laughing and talking like usual. When we finished the last episode we felt kind of sad… then we decided to watch the series all over again!
"Pfft, don't you just love this part-" I was guffawing until I looked over at Greg and realized he had fallen asleep. He was holding my hand and laying against my shoulder. I went back to my normal self, making sure not to disturb his sleep and covered Greg in a blanket. He looked so peaceful then... I noticed he looked older than he used to. He was still cute to me… I gave him a kiss on the forehead before I left blushing on my way to my mission that morning.
The next time we hung out, Steven was with us again since Vidalia couldn't baby sit this time. We acted like everything was normal, re-watching the show and cracking jokes, but we were both eagerly waiting for Steven to fall asleep. When he did, Greg put him in a spare crib he had gotten recently and came back to the couch to sit next to me. We were watching the show quietly; some kind of electric tension was in the air. I was nervous.
"Hey, Amethyst," he asks me.
"Y-Yeah Greg?" I respond, not looking at him. I was thinking that maybe something would happen between us I did feel closer to him since he was so open and vulnerable with me the last time I'd seen him. I mean, I don't think I knew what I wanted to happen or why I wanted anything different to go down.
"You know, I was wondering… could you maybe… shapeshift again for me?" he asked hesitantly.
"You liked that after all?! What do you want me to be, a cat? A hippo? A dragon?!" I jaunted.
"Actually, I liked when you looked like Rose…" he murmured.
"Oh... Sure." I said smiling. And so I shapeshifted into Rose again. He looked at me as Rose, his eyes shining in the light of the TV. He sighed and reached his hand up to my face, caressing it gently. I felt my cheeks get warm. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the sensation. When I opened my eyes slowly to look at his face, I saw that he was crying silently.
"Greg, stop. I don't want to see you sad anymore…" I said this quietly before I leaned into him and kissed him on the lips. He tensed up and was stiff as a rock for a few seconds. When I pulled away, his eyes were wide and he quickly looked away from me.
"What's wrong? Did I not do that right?" I asked embarrassed.
"N-No! It's not that," he said apologetically.
"Then you just didn't like it?" I said.
"I didn't say I didn't like it…" he said, looking at me again, a weird expression on his face that I didn't understand. Now looking back, I think he was feeling guilty. But I didn't question it because he had pretty much said he liked my kiss. So I went for it again, and this time he kissed me back. The next thing we knew, we were making out for the rest of the Lil Butler tape. When the screen went fuzzy, it snapped us back to reality and the fact that Greg had to go home and get Steven to his proper crib. I shifted back into myself, we said our goodbyes and planned to hang out another day, as if nothing crazy had just happened. After that, we developed a new routine; watch Lil Butler, put Steven to sleep if he was there, I shapeshifted into Rose, we made out, we all went home. Eventually, if Steven was not around, we would start doing other things. He would show me how and where to touch him and he would touch me, too. It was pretty amazing. It felt like fusion, only it was all unfamiliar to me. And I really, really, liked it. I felt like the empty place I'd always had in my heart was finally being filled. And at the same time, even though we were so close, I still felt kind of lonely. I think it's because I sensed he was actually still sad deep down. He would call me 'Rose', kissing me everywhere and telling me how he missed me… I tried to play along and act like Rose, but really it hurt every time he said her name. But I kept ignoring that bad feeling because all the good feelings made the pain seem worth it.
I remember one of the last times we did it. Greg was on top of me and the light of the TV screen lit up his face dimly.
"Tell me you love me." He said, kissing me on my neck.
"W-What?" this was the first time he had ever said something like this so I blushed.
"Please, I need to hear you say it…" he insisted, mumbling into me.
"I love you, Greg." I said it trying to sound like Rose, but I felt weird. He kissed my lips passionately and we continued our fusion dance without speaking.
A few days later, I had been replaying the scene in my head over and over. Did this mean that he loved me? I didn't remember him addressing me as Rose at that time… I felt that I really might loved him, but I was also confused. What kind of relationship did we have? Could we really be in-love with each other?
"Amethyst, watch out!" Pearl shouted as she leaped somewhere next to me.
"Huh?" I said, coming out of my daze. Suddenly I was smashing into a big monster, face-first. It roared. I fell on the ground with a loud boom, leaving a crater on the dirt. I sat up and shook my head, making little bits of rocks fly out of my hair.
"We are on a mission, focus!" Garnet reprimanded me.
" Sheesh, sorry, I'm not hurt or anything so chill!" I grumbled as I got back up on my feet and dashed towards the monster with my whip. We were in some old Gem cave, fighting and bubbling corrupted gems. We finished them off quickly.
"Nice work everyone." Garnet said cooly.
"Um, except Amethyst's little stunt! What's got into you?! It's like every time you come back from hanging out with Greg you act like a rookie!" Pearl scolded.
"I know, I know! I won't let it happen again…" I said rolling my eyes. When we went back to the temple, we all headed into our rooms to rest. Pearl went in first and then Garnet was about to go, too, but I stopped her.
"Hey Garnet, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Sure, what's up, Amethyst?" Garnet asked, facing me with her hands on her hips.
"Well, uh… I was watching some soap opera with Vidalia the other day, you know, one of those romantic stories on TV?"
"Uh huh?"
"Right well, they were talking about true love this and true love that, but I don't really understand it… I was wondering, how do you know when someone is really in love with someone?" I rambled nervously. Garnet must have seen right through me, but she was cool as always and didn't point anything out. She just responded saying,
"Love is an experience and it's a little different for everyone. But usually you can tell people are in-love in a few ways. They want to be together all the time, they accept each other for their good and bad parts, they are willing to put the other's needs first, and most importantly they love each other for who they really are." I say thanks for the advice, and go think about it all. I was pretty convinced that I really did love Greg. But I was not confident that Greg loved me back… I decided to find out that very night when I went to see him at the storage unit.
I showed up that night and we went through the motions like always. He popped-in the tape, I sat next to him on the couch, Steven was nit around… and then I deviated from the routine.
"Can you do the thing now?" he asked.
"…Um, actually, I was thinking that today I could stay as me for once…" I said hesitantly. He looked at me confused.
"What do you mean?" he asked seriously.
"I mean that I want to be with you. Me, Amethyst." I said as I reached out to him and pulled his face close to mine, kissing him on the lips. He pushed me away roughly.
"No, you have to shapeshift. I need to see Rose…" he said desperately. Now I was getting mad.
"Chill out, it's not like you are cheating on her you know, she is gone! You have me now! Aren't I enough for you? I-I love you!" I snap at him, my voice breaking at the end and tears prickling my eyes. Greg looks stunned, then sad.
"I'm sorry, but… it has always been Rose. I thought you... understood?" he said. I stared at him blankly for a moment. My heart broke and now I was furious at him with full-blown angry tears rolling down my face.
"What about me, huh?! I lost her too and you have done nothing to make me feel any better! Why should I be the only one going out of my way when it is your fault she is gone!" I snarled. I could see the hurt in his eyes.
"This has all been a terrible mistake. We can't be doing this anymore, it's not good for either of us." He said, getting up off the couch and walking away from me.
"W-What, that's it? I'm just a mistake to you, too?!" I cried.
"No, Amethyst, stop twisting my words," he argued.
"I take it back, I don't love you, I just feel sorry for you! You are pathetic!" I scream at him. He didn't look at me. He just yelled back at me,
"You need to leave, now!" And so I ran away, back to my room in the temple, sobbing and feeling so stupid for letting myself be used and making myself believe he could love me back. I should have known from the start that he would never love me. Not like he loved Rose.
This was the last time we ever hung out, for many years (until the present day). Pearl and Garnet never asked me why I stopped hanging out with him, they were just glad to have me around again. The only one who knew what went down was Vidalia, since I owed her an explanation when she realized I no longer wanted to hang out together with Greg around.
Now I am back to feeling stupid, I went and tried to go back to that really unhealthy and messed up time… why? Well, maybe because I miss my friendship with Greg. Maybe because deep down I will always care about him. I owe him an apology for trying to put him in that situation again… And I had come with the guise of helping him clean out the storage unit and we never got anything done! Then it occurred to me; The gems and I could clean it up for him over night in no time! Then I could at least make it up to him that way and maybe we could still be ok friends?! And so I pitched the plan to Garnet and Pearl; they gladly cooperated. We worked all through the night trying to sort out the stuff. Then I realized it was ALL awesome stuff and that he shouldn't have to get rid of it… it all brought back good memories. So I stored it all in my room in the temple. When Greg came to the unit the next morning, he was amazed that all that was left was a couple of boxes. He thanked us… then, when everyone was out of earshot I talked to him alone.
"Greg, I'm so sorry about last night... and for what happened back in the day..." I said in a low voice so nobody else would hear us. He looked at me surprised I mentioned it. Then he smiled sympathetically.
"No, I'm sorry, it was my fault, too… let's make an effort to be better friends from now on, ok, Amethyst?" He said sincerely. My heart beat a little faster, but this time it wasn't because I was feeling in-love. This time I was really just happy to have my friend back.
THE END.