The Love Connection

*Disclaimer*- Hear ye, Hear ye none of these characters are mine. Hear ye, Hear ye please do not sue me because I can't afford the fine.

Authors note- Extra, Extra read all about it! Young girl goes on chocolate binge and this is roduct! Extra Extra read all about it! This story contains a young red headed young girl who loves to be the center of attention. In the meantime please keep all veggies away from the screen because you might get the throw-veggies-at-horrible-writer-syndrome. Thank you and good night!

Presa/announcer: Are you all ready for the Love Connection?!

Audience: (silence)

Audience member: (coughs)

Audience member Two: NO!

Presa: Well then lets meet the lucky lady who will get to choose one of three bachelors today...

Audience member three: (tries to sound enthusiastic) Yeah.

Presa: She is a young fiery girl of the age of fourteen. She enjoys dogs and loves to help people out. Now lets hear it for Hikaru!

Hikaru(walks out and yells): HELLO EVERYONE!!!!

Presa(covers ears): Thank you Hikaru. Now lets meet the three lucky bachelors. Bachelor number one enjoys sweets and loves to watch his coworkers battle it out. Bachelor number one...

Bachelor number one/Eagle(sleeping in chair with head against wall): Zzzzzzzzz

Bachelor number two/Zazu(pokes him in ribs and whispers): Psst...I think it's your turn.

Eagle(suddenly shouts in sleep): Damn you Zazu! How many times have I told you no liquor before noon?!

Presa: Well thank you for that nice bit of information. Everyone that was bachelor number one. Now bachelor number two enjoys two things in life: booze and women...

Zazu( holding a bottle of liquor that came out of nowhere)That's right, the two necessities of life!

Two security guards come forth from audience and take Zazu's bottle.

Security guard number one/ Lafarga: We will be taking this! I could of sworn that we got all of your liquor bottles before.

Security guard number two/Ferio: How many could you possibly have hidden? (whispers)Do you think you could hook me up with some?

Zazu: I've still got twenty bottles left. Although, it will cost you a pretty Autozam dollar because that is only a day's supply.

Ferio: I don't care!

Zazu: The Mrs. causing you trouble?

Ferio: That's an understatement.

Presa: Ahhem?

Ferio: Shit, the whole world heard that! Umm...just kidding Fuu you're the best!

Lafarga:(chuckles to himself) Good bye all.

Presa: Well I think that it is time to meet bachelor number three. Bachelor number three enjoys peaceful moments and long walks. Here he is!

Bachelor number three/Lantis(stares silently at Presa)

Presa: Bachelor number THREE!

Zazu(pokes Lantis in the ribs): Hey it's your turn.

Lantis(cocks head to right and gives Zazu the EVIL EYE!!!!)

Zazu(shivers): Okie doke, I think...

Presa: I GIVE UP! Here's your host Clef and his magical companion Mokana.

Firefly appears out of nowhere and knocks Presa over the head with the all time famous mallet.

Firefly: Muhahaha! I now command the show! You all must obey my orders!!!!

Clef and Mokana walk out in matching cupid outfits.

Clef(mutters):Hello.

Mokana: PUU! PUU PUU!

Clef(mutters): Well aren't we just a bundle of joy.

Hikaru runs over to Clef and hugs him.

Clef runs away from Hikaru but she starts chasing after him. They continue running around the set until Hikaru gives up.

Hikaru: You're so cute that I could just hug you forever and ever!

Clef(mutters):Shut up you mad possessed woman!

Mokana: PUU!

Clef: Well let's get on with this wonderful show.

Hikaru: It's my turn! It's my turn! Uh...okay number one what is your perfect idea of a date?

Zazu pokes Eagle in the ribs.

Eagle(shouts): Zazu I don't have the stupid key to the liquor cabinet! Are you really that desperate for liquor?! Huh...well then go bother Geo because he has your stupid key!

Zazu: o.0

Geo/from audience(sobs): It was your turn to take the blame. It's not fair! Now I'm going to have to deal with Zazu for the next week! You b*****d!

Firefly: Can it Geo! This is my show and I command you to shut-up!

Clef: You can't just command people around like that!

Firefly: Why not?

Clef: Because you aren't the leader of the universe!

Firefly(whispers): Wait and see.

Hiakru: Number two same question.

Zazu(pulls out another bottle of liquor): My idea of a perfect date is at a bar with tons of women.(starts drooling all over himself)

Ferio: Hey give me that!(Ferio takes a swig.) Ahh...sweet freedom!

Lafarga(drags Ferio off with the bottle): Come on now.

Clef: Kids don't try this at home unless you have a trained expert nearby.

Hikaru: Okay number three same question!

Lantis stares into space.

Hikaru: I SAID BACHELOR NUMBER THREE SAME QUESTION!!!!

Lantis jumps up and then sits back down and continues staring into space.

Zazu(laughs): That was funny you got him to move! Do it again!

Hikaru: Okay...I SAID BACHELOR NUMBER THREE SAME QUESTION!!!!

Once again Lantis jumps back up and down. Zazu brakes into a fit of laughter and collapses to the floor laughing. While doing this ten bottles of beer fall out of his outfit and hat.

Zazu: Uh...oops!

Lafarga: How many beers can you possibly have left you drunk pervert?!?

Ferio: Yeah what he said. I think it's time we kicked you off the show.

Zazu: The price just went up.

Ferio(Begs Zazu): No you can't do this to me. I'll give you all of your liquor back and won't kick you off the show. Just please don't take away my liquor.

Lafarga: Let's go now before you start to look like an idiot. Oh...wait you already do! Ha ha ha!

Clef: Can we possible get on with the show?

Firefly(eating a bag of popcorn) Shh... wait this is getting good! Go on Ferio make yourself look like an idiot!

Clef: Kids, these events taking place are not real but based on a real situation. So remember just say no to liquor and women or you will turn out like Ferio and Zazu. Now back to the show.

Hikaru: Ohh Oh! Do I get to chose yet?

Clef: No! You need to ask them another question.

Hikaru: Okay tell me your favorite number, number one!

Zazu pokes Eagle in ribs.

Eagle: Zazu get yourself out of this fight! Geo still twitches every time he hears a bottle break! AND NO IT IS NOT FUNNY TO LAUGH AT GEO BEHIND HIS BACK!!!!

Geo: You mean Zazu laughs behind my back?! That's it no liquor for you!!!! Jerk!

Firefly: Pull yourself together Geo! Now shut-up and let's get back to the show!

Hikaru: One I guess? Number two same question.

Zazu(sings): Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall. Take one down and pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!

Hikaru: Ninety-nine! Number three same question.

Lantis stares into the crowd.

Hikaru: Ahhem number three.

Lantis stares at the crowd.

Firefly: Number three answer the stupid question!

Lantis turns head towards Firefly and gives her the EVIL EYE.

Firefly: I'm not afraid of you!!!!

Hikaru: Zero, I guess? Do I choose now?

Clef(mutters): No, now shut up and let me do the talking!

Clef: Now lets here from Presa where you and the bachelor of your choice will be going.

Firefly: Ahhem.

Clef(mutters as he takes out his index card): I mean the great and almighty Firefly, ruler of this show. Oh dear Firefly pleas grant us some of your humble time to tell us where they will be going.

Firefly: Your wish shall be granted. Well Hikaru the lucky man of your choice and you shall get to go out to dinner at Umi's and Fuu's hut...

Ferio: Fuu's the best cook in there! That's right my Fuu!

Firefly: Ahhemm.

Clef: Wow I always thought that Umi was the better cook

Ferio: Nope my Fuu!

Firefly: AHEMMM!

Zazu: Got beer?

Ferio: No Umi and Fuu don't believe in liquor. They're EVIL!

Firefly: WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT-UP!

Clef, Zazu, Ferio: Ehhh!

Firefly: Thank you. As I was saying Umi's and Fuu's Hut is where you will be going. They got the best Julian strips and desserts in all of Cephiro. So Hikaru who do you choose?

Hikaru: Umm...well...this is a very hard choice...

Firefly: Have you decided yet?

Hikaru: No I haven't! Don't rush me!

Firefly: Just choose already!

Hikaru: OKAY! I choose number two.

Firefly: No you can't choose number two, he's mine!

Hikaru: I choose number two and that's my final answer!

Clef: Wow! Could you have picked a worse person?!

Firefly: SHUT UP CLEF! You aren't good looking yourself and for that matter perfect.

Clef: Well at least I don't have to take over a show to gain respect!

Firefly: Yeah you want to make something out of it?!

Clef walks over to the side of the stage and picks up his staff. Then he comes to the foot of the audience.

Clef(shouts): Orion(spell from the OAV version)

Firefly looks around for her trusty staff and finds it on the floor. Then she raises the staff up and it transforms into a sword. Firefly calls out...

Firefly(shouts): Firewall Protect!

Firefly(shout again): Lightning Bolt come forth!!(Yes I know that that is Lantis's spell.)

Lantis(shouts): Hey that's my spell! You can't use my spell! Lightning bolt come forth!

Lightning bolt hits Firefly and she falls to the ground as burnt ashes.

Everyone stares at Lantis in amazement.

Zazu: He speaks...

Clef(shouts): Oh My God!!!! You killed Firefly! Let's rejoice.

Then Claf runs over to the announcer booth and starts to dance around the ashes.

Ferio: The great one has gone demented!

Then the ashes gather up and form Firefly once again.

Firefly: Ha ha ha! You thought that I would go out that easily? Well I'm sorry to say that I am back to normal! So there!

Clef: How did you do that?!

Firefly: This is public TV you can't write off characters that easy! Ha you of all people should know that!

Clef(sobs): I was so close, so close...

Hikaru: Hey will you two just shut-up because I want to meet my date!

Clef & Firefly: Fine

Clef: Well let's first meet the two contestants that you didn't pick. First, lets meet Eagle of Autozam

Zazu pokes Eagle in ribs hard and Eagle wakes up. He hears name and starts to aimlessly wander till he gets to Clef and stops.

Eagle: 'Lo, what's going on?

Hikaru stares at Eagle and starts to drool.

Clef: Wow you mean that you have no idea what is going on? Well, anyway you better get off stage.

Eagle: I guess I didn't win.

Firefly: You can take me out on a date!

Clef(whispers to Eagle in his ear): I wouldn't do it if she were the last girl on Earth, Autozam, Cephiro, and anywhere else!

Eagle: That bad?

Clef: That's an understatement.

Firefly: I heard that Clef. You just wait till after the show! You will pay!

Clef: Let's meet bachelor number three! Lantis of Cephiro!

Lantis gets up and walks towards Clef and then stops.

Hikaru melts into a puddle on the floor.

Lantis: Hello and goodbye.

Firefly: Wait can I have your number?

Lantis cocks his head back and gives Firefly the EVIL EYE!

Firefly: I'll take that for a no!

Clef: Good Choice!

Firefly: Who would want to go out with a toothpick man anyway?! TOOTHPICK MAN!!!!

Lantis once again gives Firefly the EVIL EYE!!!!

Clef: Now let's meet Zazu!

Zazu gets up and pulls a beer out of his hat and has a victory gulp.

Hikaru: You mean I get him!

Clef: That's right, him.

Zazu(takes a swig and belches): What's wrong with me?

Firefly: Nothing Zazu you're just perfect. Don't listen to those brainless idiots over there!

Hikaru: Who you calling a brainless idiot.

Clef(mumbles): Figures she likes the screwed up ones just like her.

Firefly: I heard that you short pogo stick! At least he is taller then you!

Hikaru: Hey, she does have a point. He is taller then you!

Clef: I would prefer if you didn't bring my height into your matters!

Presa wakes up to find Firefly in her spot. Presa finds Firefly's mallet on the floor and knocks Firefly with it.

Firefly: Ha...ha...Pogo stick man...

Presa: How did I do?

Clef: Yahoo! You get a bonus for knocking Firefly out!

Presa: Why thank you Clef.

Hikaru: I guess I get to go now with the drunk.

Clef: That's right. I feel for you I really do.

Presa: That's all for now folks!

*Another Author's Note*- Okay, I was thinking of doing a second show with different people but I need to know if you liked this one. So please review my horrible story!