R/N: Harry accidentally drinks the wrong potion, and starts insulting Ron, making him feel insecure.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter books... though I wish I did ;) J.K. Rowling beat me to it... yet again.

"Would you hush flamboyant woman! Do not speak these honey-coated words, which trickle from your unsexy tongue this carelessly! I, King Harry, do not ponder unsexified behavior a talent, nor considered lifestyle in Scotland!"

"Bloody hell Hermione, I though you said he drank the wrong potion, not get hit on the head by that git, Macbeth." Ron said in disbelief, staring at the drunken Harry, who was hastily cleaning the terrified Fat Lady's portrait.

"He did Ron! It was Malfoy, I tell you! He switched the labels of the potions on purpose. According to my knowledge, his side effects seem to fit perfectly to that of a rare potion called the Mini-Shakespearean potion. The thing is… it was originally intended for Parrots, not humans…"

"He's acting like a real cow if you ask me. Vexing me really. He asked me if I wear this robe in order to resemble the foul features of an aging pudgy female. I am not pudgy Hermione, this robe just creates the slight illusion that I am!" Ron said, feeling rather insecure and emotional.

"Yes, well I'm not sure that's the part you should be concerned about." Hermione said sarcastically, watching Ron straightening his robes, flashing her an agitated look.

"Ron!" Harry suddenly exclaimed, nearing Ron, till his face was inches away from his.

"Y…Yeah mate?" Ron said, fleetingly shifting backwards.

"We can't deny the sweet course of destined fate much longer! Who are we to lock saccharine chemistry away in our hearts, when she's desperate to be freed to suck on the teat of liberty!"

"Uh… L... listen Harry, you're clearly not in the right state of mind right now… I hope. I don't see us ever… how to put this… complimenting each other in a relatio…"

"Chan is the song to my soul, the melody to my life, the one to make my lips tremble, she is my eternal breath, without whom all that is left is regrettable death…"

"Whao! Hold up, you were referring to Chan? CHAN? You prefer CHAN above me? I thought we were mates Harry? What, am I not attractive enough for you?" Ron cried.

"Maybe it's because you're just not woman enough for him, Ron." Hermione said, chuckling. "OR, maybe, too woman."

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Please review this chapter :) This was my first... so be kind! Criticism is welcome though :)