I've been in the Dangan Ronpa fandom since last year, and am ashamed that I've published nothing for this community yet.
So I've decided to challenge myself to another series of song lyrics drabbles, from my favourite band, The Fray! It'll mostly be centering Komaeda, Nanami and Hinata, though, since I'm a biased fanbrat.
Hope you enjoy this!
"If I don't say this now, I will surely break."
"I'm sorry."
One of Sayaka Maizono's hands is on his shoulder, and the other pulls back his hair locks in gentle strokes. It is all Naegi can do not to hunch over and cry.
"I'm sorry, Maizono-san," he whispers against her shoulder. They are in the first classroom of Hope's Peak, where he swore to Maizono that he would save her. And yet, here he is, alive and whole while Maizono's body rots in the morgue. It is the first promise he utters to her, and the last one he breaks.
"I swore to you I would get you out of Hope's Peak, but I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help you. I couldn't even stop you-" Words fail him here. It is too much to bear the crushing guilt, and it is beyond Naegi's capability to not break down in a stream of anguished apologies.
Maizono smiles at him. A smile that knows secrets. Her eyes shine with agelessness that was never there when she was still alive.
"It's okay, Naegi-kun," she finally says. "I forgive you."
He needs to know how she can possibly do that, as that broken promise had but been the crutch to keep her going for the rest of her life. Maizono speaks again before he can voice his doubts.
"Because it was my choice," she says. "Whatever happened to me, it was beyond your control. I deceived you and manipulated you, and you've only complied because you are a kind person. If you had been any less of the person you've been, I would not have believed in you, and I very likely would have died in that situation without really trusting anyone. Do you understand, Naegi-kun? It is my choice. Mine."
Naegi nods wordlessly, one tear finally escaping his eyes as he looks at the beautiful soul he would have given the world to save.
"Very good," Maizono slaps him on the back. "Remember, you are destined for great things. I believe that you're a person who can move on, but I also know that you aren't willing to let go of the past. If you will save this world from what it has become, can you remember me, and forgive me the wrong I've done to you?"
Naegi's face contorts and he wipes at his eyes. It is almost absurd to hear Maizono ask for his forgiveness when it's supposed to be the other way round. "Of course," his voice cracks. "Of course, Maizono-san. Why would you even ask that? How could I possibly forget you?"
A sad smile taints Maizono's face. "That's all I'll ever ask."
And when he wakes, he stares at the white ceiling. Naegi sits up from his bed and ponders. How is it Maizono always know what he wants to say? The answer comes to him quickly in the form of her voice.
'It's because I'm a psychic.'
"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness and I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life"
Hinata watches the monitors beat away the dying heart of Komaeda. It is not the first time he wonders what has gone wrong between the both of them. Oh, and because it's so easy to blame Komaeda for being evasive and dishonest with his true nature. How the hell could Hinata have seen what the boy would pull before it did? The other part of him argues that he has made himself so blind to believe Komaeda was laughing when it's clear he really wanted to scream.
"Sometimes the hardest things and the right thing are the same"
It was with shaking hands and a lump the size of Mount Everest in his throat that Hinata Hajime hits the button which will wipe his memories of the girl who meant the world to him.
"Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me"
"And after all this time, now you've come to me at last, Hinata-kun."
He sets down the tray of bread and water beside the boy he once considered a friend, mustering every cell in his eyes to not look at him.
"There is nothing I have to say to you." And it's true. He refuses to be tricked again. Contrary to popular belief, Hinata's not masochistic enough to go through the pain of betrayal more than once. He turns on his heels and heads to the door. He hesitates enough to hear Komaeda say exactly three words to him before the door seals a solid wall between them.
Hinata exits the cottage, and is left to wonder if he imagined the disappointment in Komaeda's voice.
"Maybe we were meant to be lonely. Maybe we were meant to be on our own"
The roar of the sea is loud. It is magnificent. It is wondrous as it is lonely.
It is the thirtieth day since her friends have graduated, and Nanami spends the rest of her days drawing on sand and playing with stones.
"Where were you when everything was falling apart?"
Komaeda doesn't believe in a God. When he dies, he wants very much his death to be a rendition of the little mermaid (at least, figuratively speaking). Let him fade into nothingness. Let only the memories of his deeds remain amongst the living. He'd be damned if there is an afterlife only for him to endure his painful luck cycle for eternity.
There is no point in praying for God to save him in death when He never did in life.
"And suddenly, I become a part of your past. I'm becoming the part that don't last. I'm losing you and its effortless"
Flat on his back, blood pooling from his limbs as he lies, spread eagled, on the floor, Komaeda's last thoughts are to wonder if his actions will serve any purpose after all. To be the Ultimate Hope is all he ever wants, to live on the world an indelible mark. But if sixteen years of life has been anything to account for, his Super High School Level talent will snatch the opportunity from him anyway. He was a nobody and will stay a nobody even after his existence is spent.
It is with this realization that Komaeda's mouth opens in a silent scream of the despair that consumes him along with death.
"We don't want you to see we come and we go. Here today, gone tomorrow"
"Well, I guess you're next."
"Boy, I'm not looking forward to this. What did you say my job was again?"
"Learn to pay attention, will you? You'll be armed with a gun and battle a bunch of elementary school kids. It's an easy task."
"Says you! All you had to do was wait for help on an island and push a button!"
"You're forgetting the trials. And pressing that button happened to risk me losing my sense of self, and if I had failed, Enoshima would have succeeded in making ten versions of herself."
"Well, if you put it that way..."
"Relax. You're the protagonist, you won't die. Of course, you'll forget about this when you go in there. But at the very least, you've got Fukawa to help you."
"You make it sound so easy..."
"I've been through it, remember?"
"..."
"Hey, Komaru."
"What?"
"Good luck out there."
"Thanks, Hinata-san... I'll try."
"We're only taking turns, holding this world. It's how it's always been. When you're older, you will understand"
He visits her, of course, and makes special effort to bring along a gift with him each time he does. His turn comes after Hinata's, and the words exchanged between the girl and boy are unknown to him. He does not know. He does not wish to know.
When he arrives in the familiar landscape of Jabberwock Islands, he finds her within the first five minutes. Her eyes have gone dull, and her smile seems fainter than the last he's seen of her, even though her face has not aged one bit.
"You're looking young, Nanami-san," he says, in a light attempt to cheer his friend. "What's your secret?"
Nanami Chiaki somehow manages to snort and make it sound refined. "I discovered the fountain of youth."
Komaeda laughs as he hands her the latest model of the Nintendo series. Nanami looks upon his wrinkled hands, and takes it quickly so she doesn't have to look too long.
"Sometimes, I forget the reason why I keep myself going," she admits. "If not for all your visits, I don't know what will happen to me."
Komaeda listens silently, because words of comfort have been said and done once too many. He has learned not to interrupt when Nanami speaks. And Nanami has become accustomed to his silence. She is grateful for it, preferring his wordlessness over dishonest attempts in lifting her mood. He understands, not really, but he does. In her perpetual prison, all Nanami sees outside her game screens is the sun when it rises and sets.
"I'm glad you all still come and visit me," Nanami says, smiling softly. "It makes it seem like it was just yesterday we were chasing each other in the sand."
"I know," says Komaeda. "I feel the same way." He does not say 'we', because he can never speak for the rest of his ex-classmates.
He wonders if Nanami knows that even if she doesn't age, her data does. Nothing lasts forever. Her mind will rot away with the metal encasing it the same way Komaeda's illness festering in his body kills him slowly.
They've grown old. And sometimes Komaeda wonders there's still anything that life has yet to offer them. He hopes for that miracle, but if there's one that Junko Enoshima's taught him, it's that hope always amounts to despair in the end.
