Merry very belated Christmas! I hope that the whole Christmas/Winter/Holiday season went really well for you. I hope that despite this oneshot's tardiness that it's almost four thousand words long somehow make you really happy to read. (I tried one or two other oneshots before this, and while I didn't complete them, I felt like they were not perfect enough for you, so I hope this one makes up for that.) I know that it's super late, and I'm sorry about how long that it's been since Christmas Time and New Years and every other holiday within those two months. This ended up way longer than I expected it would, and I really hope that the length adds something to it, and that you find yourself smiling as you read this oneshot. Happy Saint Valentine's Day, happy Saint Patrick's Day, happy New Years, and many, many more holidays that fell within the time that it took me to write this. I just hope that what I wrote speaks to you in the way that I wrote it, and that the MariChat is just the way that you like it. I hope that you have a very blessed and incredible day, and that this somehow brings joy to you today and possibly even beyond. Have a very, very wonderful day! I hope that everyday since December has been incredible for you, because you definitely deserve a ton of incredible days all year long.
Love didn't always happen when or how you thought it would, and it certainly didn't fit a timetable. Not all men were knights as you thought they were. It didn't mean that they weren't noble or brave, but being a knight is so much more than just being noble or brave. The whole title calls for much more than that.
Not all women on balconies were waiting for a Romeo to come along, though most wouldn't mind if one did. It just wasn't what anyone was expecting or waiting for anymore.
Marinette never counted her heart as fickle, and never dare would. It was strong and stubborn and resilient even when others never expected it to be, and certainly as it shifted and moved on from Adrien, it wasn't fickleness or lack of interest or lost passion or zeal that moved it along. It was simply time to see things from a different perspective, time to shift from a onesided love to something altogether different and completely unexpected, because she wasn't the damsel in distress from fairy tales or even Juliet or even a princess. She never stood on her balcony waiting for love to hop in though that's just how it happened.
Love is a pleasant surprise, and nothing surprised her more than an accidental drop by and spending an evening unexpectedly laughing with her partner in fighting crime as if they were the best of friends like this, one outside of the mask and seemingly just a civilian, and the other all suited up as if an Akuma would appear out of nowhere. Cat Noir was as open with her as he dared to be, and she found herself just wanting to shift close and listen to him for hours on end.
It had been a great day though she hadn't told anyone that while she still loved Adrien, it was more in a small, barely apparent way. He gave her butterflies to be around still though not always, and she'd lost most of the passionate excitement, but love wasn't all excitement, and she knew that much. She'd been taught years ago, and it somehow stuck, that love was much more than feeling. Feelings could pass and shift and change, but love was a commitment, a devotion in a way, and it's a determination to really be there for a person. She didn't always succeed, but she tried.
She'd shared some ice cream with her friends earlier that day and had time to just talk with Adrien for a few minutes, mostly without that bothersome stutter that had came into play when nerves first set in and by a mostly lack of nerves now could be almost absent though never quite absent. Marinette had a mostly peaceful day without the strain and pain of too many things to offset it, so it was a good day with very little moments to draw her away from it.
It felt peaceful to have her mask down around her partner though when they were both suited up and fighting crime, he saw a side of her that few could ever dream of seeing, a part of her came out in the fray of fighting Akuma with adrenaline coursing in her veins and fight prevailing over flight. When your life is at stake, a side of you unbeknown to anyone sneaks out as if late to the party of life.
"So I hear that you're the best at Ultimate Mecha Strike Three?" Cat Noir leaned close, just as a friend might when offering a challenge. It was easy to forget that they'd only talked to each other like this a handful of times.
"I probably couldn't beat a superhero." She tried, falling back into that old, almost habit of treating him as if he, as a superhero, was beyond the realm of even ever talking to a 'plain' civilian such as herself. She didn't mind, because some times truth easily slipped out from her lips then, truth that as Ladybug, she didn't always have the confidence to say, even though she was still pretty positive that she could beat him at Ultimate Mecha Strike Three.
"We'll have to see about that." He smiled, and Marinette almost hoped he'd win, almost.
"When should we have this tournament of ours?" Marinette bit back a laugh; it wasn't technically a tournament, just a competition, but a tournament sounded better.
"Tomorrow. How about I come by around six? If you're not busy, that is." He floundered for words for a moment, and Marinette found it kind of endearing, kind of cute in a friendly kind of way.
"Sure. I'll be up after dinner." She smiled.
"Just us, right?" He doublechecked as if remembering just then that she called it a tournament.
"Yep." Marinette readily agreed, "I won't bring a friend if you don't." She really wouldn't bring a friend regardless.
He shook his head, "I won't bring Ladybug or Queen Bee or Rena Rouge or Carapace, so you'll be fine. Just one superhero to try and best tomorrow."
"Okay, and I won't bring Adrien, Max, Alya, Nino, or my dad to try and defeat you." Maybe that could have been a makeshift hero team; Adrien, Max, and Tom would all make pretty good superheroes if they ever got a Miraculous.
"I'd hope not. I don't know how good your dad is, but I don't really want to find out anytime soon." Cat Noir pretended to shudder, and Marinette couldn't help but laugh a little at the show.
"He's pretty good." She shrugged with a smile, barely holding back another chuckle, "He's the one who taught me how to play years ago." He was though lately, she usually beat him in Ultimate Mecha Strike.
"So I should be worried?" He teased.
"Of course." Marinette smiled up at him. It was almost like talking to any of her civilian friends despite it being her superhero partner that she was talking to at the moment, free from patroling or dealing with an Akuma or another interview. It was nice.
Being friends with a superhero entailed aspects of friendship that being friends with a civilian did not always have. You can't ask too many questions, and some topics, you have to know how to skirt around for their safety and yours. Her feelings though aren't really skirt around-able, or at least, they can be lived with or by carefully not discussing, but they can't be avoided as if you knew that they were coming on, and she still wasn't a Juliet, either way.
Marinette toyed with the Lucky Charm that Adrien had given her for her birthday, trying to ignore the pop and fizzle of nerves that it made no sense to have. She knew Cat Noir, roughly, relatively, and then, technically a lot at times. She could read the emotions on his face often as easily as she could read the emotions in her heart, but there comes moments when you feel truly blind.
It wasn't easy to forget the kind of premonition that maybe today wouldn't be like just any other day; she'd ate dinner like she normally would, though left a few minutes earlier than normal. Today though, something kicked in that friendship with Cat Noir and endless hours of patrols and Akuma fights hadn't. She felt suddenly bare without her mask, without that place to conceal a part of her cleverly away. All she had, was this. Maybe, she needed luck, or needed the comfort and familiarity of playing Ultimate Mecha Strike Three with Adrien, which wasn't all levels of comfort, but was just enough. She could deal with butchering up her words sometimes, with accidental touching, and with sometimes dazed daydreams. What she couldn't deal with, was this feeling lodged in her chest that felt like something completely new.
In a way, you could mark her commitment and devotion to Cat Noir as a partner as love, and it was, but it had never been the kind of love that ended with wedding veils and the ringing, tingling of bells. It wasn't that wedding veils and bells were not beautiful thoughts to have and encourage, but who needed veils when you had masks? It was really hard to stake a life time committment to partners in fighting crime that went beyond just dealing with Akumas. Weddings initiated marriage, and marriage started homes and families. She couldn't marry an idea of a person, just as well as she couldn't marry someone concealed by a mask.
Marinette played with the beads in her hand, remembering how easy it had been to fall, and yet the serious work that love sometimes had to take to stay strong. Butterflies and daydreams and just sheer joy being around the person were wonderful things really, but not always did they stay caught up in hearts in chests and truly flourish. She dreamed of love like her parents have.
There was a knocking, and with that knock sounded softly by another, she found her heart lurching itself somewhere up in her throat, and she stood. It felt different as she held the Charm in her hand and opened up her skylight for her superhero friend and partner to join her in the room. "Hi."
"Hello." He smiled, and it was wide enough to nearly count for a beam as if a hint of true sunlight was dancing through him and becoming him. It was a weird thought to be having for her when he became as silent and still as night in the dark, though in daylight, he shone like another sun.
"Are you ready?" It came out as a challenge, blue eyes lighting up, and she could imagine claiming a victory from him as easily or as hard won as it would take. She knew what it was like to fight by his side; did he play the same way too?
"Always, Marinette." It came out from his lips instead of 'Princess,' and she both missed the familiar endearment and felt like it couldn't grace the air today.
Just a beat later, as Marinette was placing Ultimate Mecha Strike Three into the system, the once again silence was broken. "What's that?"
Marinette paused to look down, first to make sure that she hadn't missed something and then to make sure that nothing was broke before she realized he meant her Lucky Charm.
"A good friend gave it to me as a gift. It's a Lucky Charm." She stood up and turned to show it to him.
"It's well made," And there was a gulp found somewhere in his throat that Marinette chose to not wonder about.
"I could make you one, if you'd like? I know that black cats are unlucky, but everyone can always use a little luck." She smiled, but it seemed impossibly intimate to make one for someone else. Her original Lucky Charm that she gave to Adrien, wasn't initially made for him, but was her own long before.
"Thank you." His green eyes looked lost between the abyss of trying not to ask for one, and yet almost curiously longing for one. How often did her partner get gifts anyway? Wasn't he long overdue for a little love and affection through gift giving? Not always, were special occasions the time to give gifts regardless.
"You're welcome." She answered, taking the option of denying a gift away from him, before the idea could take on too much appeal. "I'll be happy to." And, she would. It would be a new experience, but not an unwelcome one. Besides, she usually handmade the gifts that she gave anyway, so it wouldn't be that different. But while handmade gifts from her were sentimental and heartfelt, they usually were for something simple: a way to carry your favorite band with you, something to keep you warm, something to remind you that she cares, not for luck and the level of closeness that is needed for luck to be handed down, person to person.
Sometimes, she even doubted that her Lucky Charms as Ladybug gave luck out to others, as it always seemed like a personal sheltering of luck, anyway. "You don't have to." It came anyway.
"I want to." She assured, turning back to finish setting up the game that they were going to play, "You're a friend of mine too." She smiled, and the shy hesitance of it, thankfully didn't make him turn away or doubt her honesty. He was one of her best friends, but those words couldn't come now.
He didn't play necessarily as he fought Akumas, but sometimes they just shifted into Ladybug and Cat Noir as if it was that easy. Cat Noir was really good at Ultimate Mecha Strike Three, and some wins were extremely difficult for Marinette to claim, and he did beat her quite a few times. "You're really good, Cat." She let her eyes drift closed; the hour was late, and she was tired.
"So are you." It was easy for him to say those words, and looking up at him to meet his green eyes told her so. It was genuine and easy, and not once did he feel opposed for even a second sharing that with her. Genuine compliments always left a feeling of absolute warmth in her chest and the kind of excitement that just slips out later in a conversation with someone else.
Marinette paused, caught up in her thoughts, because it was easy to lose track of a commitment if you never paused to consider it, but what counted for a commitment when the other knew nothing of it? She wondered as she glanced up at her partner, if really something could be here unlike what she was waiting on. It was easy to speak to him, to joke, and it was easy to see that companionate love there that she admired the most about couples together: the kind of best friend attitude, where they loved to do whatever it was together, because they were together. It felt odd to consider if things with Adrien would float in that direction or stay in frazzled, romantic nerves.
She knew that love was one part commitment, and it felt weird to consider the what ifs even when she wasn't technically dating him. Sometimes it felt almost like that. "Cat Noir, what is love like to you?" It came as a shock to be ripped from her lips.
"Love?" He stammered, and she hoped that she didn't send an electric current through his veins to his heart.
"Yeah, I think I love someone, a friend of mine that goes to Francis Dupont with me, and I just don't know if I should just hope that he'll like me back." Marinette murmured.
"Well, I don't think love is something to be given up on, but you don't deserve to be stuck waiting." He looked awkward even as he spoke, "I'm not used to that, and I know that I'm in a similar situation with Ladybug." He paused as if really considering what advice he could give when they both felt pretty much the same way. It hurt her heart to realize that she was the one doing this to him.
"I'm sorry." It left her lips, before she could give it much thought. It just seemed easier to say than to pause and realize just why she might not have wanted to say it.
"It's not your fault. It's not even her fault." Cat Noir was quick to defend, "I love her, but I know how difficult that would be between two superheroes, but I still hope." Something shimmered in his eyes, but it didn't seem to be a tear.
"I do, too." Marinette paused to consider it all, "I just don't know if I'll have the kind of love that my parents do. They're so close to each other, and I want something like that."
"Me too." It felt all too short though when finally he turned to leave, and she almost wanted him to stay, to shift from this awkward topic to something light and easy and to play games even as she fought staying awake. She wouldn't ask so much, if she was more awake. It was the summit of questions that she hadn't even asked Alya and likely couldn't, and yet those words left her heart to be heard by Cat Noir on a tired day that had been held by the casualness of playing Ultimate Mecha Strike Three together.
There was something about new beginnings, about puzzling over commitments and being devoted to another, and something about Ultimate Mecha Strike Three that Marinette couldn't be her words on, couldn't touch and just explain. There was something lodged in her heart that wasn't there before, that wasn't there without having gotten to see a new side to her partner that sometimes did make her laugh and smile, that defended her life like it was too precious to lose, that somehow saw the good in her. He didn't blame her for her feelings, at all, and somehow that felt infinitely more precious, and when she really thinks about it, she doesn't blame Adrien for his either.
Just Cat Noir was special in a whole new way as she gingerly worked on a Lucky Charm, hoping that the luck of it will aid him, even if it's kind of silly to give Cat Noir a Lucky Charm, as black cats most places were known for their bad luck. She'd looked it up one curious morning, when she felt as if she had too much time on her hand.
Marinette was pretty sure, handpainting the beads was not what she was supposed to do, but the black beads seemed blank somehow without little green paws on them, and despite the increased effort and attention that it took, it felt much more special for him than to leave it blank and slipped it on. She could spend hours trying to make sure that it was perfect for him; it was easier to credit all these effort to the point that this was her first time actually making a Lucky Charm for someone and not just giving away one. It was precious in the way that it held a whole heart worth of emotion, the relatively easy friendship, the gratitude, the joy, and the many nameless feelings that were tied to her heart concerning him.
Marinette wasn't entirely sure that he'd like the gift, though at the same time, she knew that he would. Cat Noir wasn't the sort to just get angry or upset over a gift, maybe it wasn't what he expected, but he'd still accept it gratefully. She could not picture him being extremely ungrateful as she set the Lucky Charm down to push her nerves that felt like live wire beneath her veins away, and she wondered as she watched it settle into the new design, the new piece, if he'd be able to read all the secrets engraved from just the care and attention that it received.
She sighed as she just tried to let her mind not flutter away as if led by butterfly wings, even though butterflies lost the childhood appeal that they once had, since they'd been dealing with Hawkmoth. Marinette smiled as she looked at the Lucky Charm, trying to fight against puzzling yet again, for what could have easily been the millionth time, over whether her emotions that were not always obvious in her heart were obvious to him or anyone who looked at the Lucky Charm.
It was a few days later when he finally came back again, and when Marinette heard the familiar knocks, she was positive that her belly erupted with something unexplainable, and so she grabbed the Lucky Charm and headed over.
"Hello." The word felt almost as if it wasn't ready to leave her throat, and she fought to shake that worry off.
"Hi." And, it was like a familiar dance, where the roles were suddenly reversed. Marinette fought off the why, and she turned to gaze up at him, holding the Lucky Charm in hands that suddenly felt too weak.
"How are you today?" And, it was normal, relatively speaking. It wasn't always so easy to fall into normalcy, but Marinette loved the break that pulled her out of whatever bloomed inside her at the presence of her partner in fighting crime lately. As Ladybug, it was easier to focus on something else and ignore these runaway feelings, but as Marinette it was far too difficult.
"I'm good. It's good to see you." DId she say good too many times? This wasn't Adrien; why was she so worried? This was her partner in fighting crime, a very good friend of hers, and that would make it okay and easier to speak, right? She'd always spoke well with him before, and perhaps too well when she was tired the other night.
"It's good to see you too." Cat Noir answered despite the feather light dusting of pink on his cheeks, "I'm glad to hear that you're doing good too."
It fell into an almost easy rhythm, and perhaps she didn't really need the nerves.
"Yeah," Marinette paused as if to gather the strength that she suddenly didn't feel that she desperately needed to gather, "I made you a Lucky Charm." It was easy and light to talk to her partner most of the time and that eased some of her nerves like runoff finally hitting the stream, instead of somehow being held into one place by almost brute force.
"Thank you." Cat Noir held out two hands, and she placed it into them. His green, cat eyes lit up, and her belly did sommersalts within her. It was something else seeing his excitement than imagining just how he'd react, "It's beautiful."
Something within her melted or broke, and she found herself beaming back up at him. Hard work and nerves had somehow paid off, and she couldn't believe how happy she felt.
And, perhaps somehow seeing him hold the Lucky Charm that she'd made him, made something flourish within her, and gave her a sort of hope that she'd never imagined wanting to hold before. Just, something about Cat Noir lit up a special kind of joy and excitement in her heart, a longing for simple times together, both goofy and somehow heartfelt.
Marinette didn't imagine a kiss, but she imagined long hours playing Ultimate Mecha Strike Three together, imagined days when masks could finally be put away, imagined a clawed hand in hers, and something sizzling with a gentle kind of love. She might have well imagined a kiss, because everything else seemed more filled with love and a kind of closeness that she couldn't deny, that a kiss can sometimes hold the link to. It's then, and only then, that she realized that she'd fallen for him and had hope and would stay comitted to him, and though her mind didn't flip to Adrien at all, something had definitely changed.