Disclaimer: Hetalia and all its wonderfully derpy characters don't belong to me~! (Neither do cliche plots involving amnesia...)
A/N: Okay! So this is Kidnapping Tomatoes~! In case you didn't get this from the summary, it's a story. About Spamano. And amnesia. And tomatoes. (And there are no sexytimes just yet, sorry to disappoint.) It's rated M only for Lovi's LOVELY potty-mouth at the moment, but I swear there's other stuff coming~! Later. So um... thank you SO much for clicking on my story, and please enjoy!
(~.~) - Lovi~!
'So many choices,' I mused, parousing the aisles slowly, examining each specimen carefully. Lovi might be mad if this wasn't absolutely perfect!
For that matter, Lovi might be mad if this was perfect. Lovi was always mad. But that was okay! Because he's so adorable when he's mad~!
But this... I wanted this to be perfect anyway. This had to be perfect!
There were the shiny ones, and the ones that looked really fresh, and then there were those uniquely shaped ones that I thought Lovi might love because he loved unique things so much and...
Ooh, my head. Dios Mio, why were there so many choices?
It took me a while, but I did eventually narrow my selection down to only one case. Which ones would Lovi like, though? He was always so particular about this sort of stuff...
Kind of like a girl. But don't tell him I -or Francis and/or Gibert- said that.
Oh, decisions, decisions. Hmm.
Gosh, I was so unused to this kind of pressure lately.
Why, I don't think I've had to make a decision as stressful as this one since Lovi made me choose between my tomato fields and his (one of the saddest days of my life... Because if I chose my tomatoes... well Feli is good at a lot of things, but he can't tend tomatoes. And he's always at Germany's place lately anyway! All of Lovi's tomatoes would die! And if I chose his place... all my precious tomatoes would die!) we could only live in one house, after all.
It was clear his were healthier than mine for the majority of the year, but mine had more love put into them which made them taste better. (And if you asked me, I think Lovi thinks so too but he won't admit it.) But it's only because these are the tomato fields I've tended since I was a lot younger too, then that mi poco tomate helped tend with me as he grew up. My fields shared the TLC I had given Lovi as a child, and the frustrations I'd held when he left me.
Okay, and maybe just a FEW sexual frustrations. Just a few decades worth. Hooray for sexual tomatoes!
"Are you quite finished yet?" A snobby looking (and I'm never a mean person anymore- he just LOOKED snobby- he even smelled snobby) man asked me, crossing his arms and glaring down his nose (Dios he was tall,) at me.
He had the same blue shirt the rest of the employees wore, but his was accompanied by a fancy looking name tag that read Pedro in big red letters. His hair was slicked back in a manner that reminded me of Germany's, except this man's was a peppered shade of brown with streaks of gray, and his eyes were hooded from either a lack of sleep or some sort of health problem.
...Maybe they should get some better looking clerks.
"Oh, not yet, but I will be in a minute," I told him, flashing one of my brighter smiles at him (Which did NOTHING, Mio Dio, what was he, stone?) before looking back down into the case before me.
I was just about to point out the few I was trying to decide between, to ask his opinion, when my phone rang, my cheerful little ringtone blaring out from my phone's tiny speakers.
"Ah, just a moment please?" I said, holding up a finger to inform the clerk I would indeed purchase something just as soon as I answered this. He just frowned, and nodded.
Um... so maybe I was taking a little longer than most people to make my decision. This was so very important though! I couldn't possibly pick properly if I was distracted by anything at all! This was serious!
"Hola? Who is this?" I said after pressing the pretty green talk button.
Lovi always thought I was stupid for saying bright colors and flashing things were pretty, but hey, I was a simple man with a simple mind, and colors and flashy things entertain me.
...
So do certain parts of the male anatomy, but let's not go there right now~!
"Señor Antonio Fernandez Carriedo?" a female voice answered me.
"Sí?" I said, confused.
Well, this wasn't Hungary, because Hungary would always ask if I was with 'Roma' or not. And if I said yes, she would start panting and excuse herself with a nosebleed.
And it couldn't be Belarus, because she was very to-the-point! In fact, she was so very to-the-point, she just asked me if I knew where her big brother was before hanging up after I said no.
It wasn't Seychelles either, because she would always greet me with a cheerful "Hola Antonio!" And her voice was so pretty, I knew that anywhere.
Then there was Ukraine... She didn't call me very often, I'm sorry to say. She seems so sweet! We just never get the chance to talk because I have to keep Lovi from cussing out the other nations, and I suppose it's the same way with her and Belarus. Except Belarus really wants to kill them, while Lovi just threatens to kill them.
And lastly... Belgium, but she always greeted me with a "Hi, Antoine," before launching into whatever she was calling about.
I... I didn't know this lady, did I? It didn't sound like one of the female countries I knew, and this phone was only for other nations and my boss to call me on.
"You are listed under Romano Vargas' phone as his emergency contact?" she said, before pausing, as though waiting for me to answer.
Well, she just said that, didn't she? I knew I was Lovi's contact. And now she was calling me to ask me that? Clearly she knew it too.
"Is that correct?"
"Sí," I said with a frown. "Why do you ask?"
'I can't focus on picking these out and talking on the phone at once! This lady is talking in circles- I'll buy all three and pick one out later and return the other two or something. Curse my Spanish single-track mind.'
"I'll take those three," I said to the clerk, gesturing to the ones I had been trying to choose between. I handed him my credit card and shifted to my other foot while switching my phone to my other ear. I watched him walk over to the register to ring me up as I listened to the lady begin to speak again. She had such a lovely voice, really! Maybe I should tell her so.
"Are you operating machinery or doing anything that requires your paying attention?" she asked calmly.
"Ah, what does that have to do with anything?" I wondered aloud. "No, no I'm not. Por favor, what is this call about?"
"Señor, Romano Vargas is in the emergency room of Hospital Nuestra Señora de América right now- he's undergoing surgery for injuries he sustained in a car accident involving two vehicles and a bus."
"W-What?" I laughed nervously, "Surely you're joking? Lovi- Romano... he doesn't even have a car here, all of his are in Rome..."
He'd just moved in a month ago, after all. For now, he was still using my car to get around. So when I left under the pretense of buying more oregano, because we were out, I had assumed he would be -and stay- at home. Surely she's joking. I mean, Lovi has cars. Lots of them. Fancy Italian brand-named cars that probably cost more than a lot of humans make in a year! But they're all in Italy.
"He was in a red Lamborghini at the time of the crash. Does that sound familiar?"
...
Oh yes, that sounds familiar. Mio Dio, that sounds familiar. In fact, Lovi and I are very well acquainted with the back seat... and the floor... and the trunk. (Don't ask about that last one.)
But... this means he does have his car. And he could indeed have been driving. And he could indeed be in the hospital.
"S-Sí... I didn't know he had it shipped up already!" I exclaimed, pressing my hand to the wall behind me as I staggered back a few steps. "Dios Mio, is he okay? What happened? I'll be right there!"
"Please hold, I have another call," the lady on the line informed me, and an elevator-y kind of music started playing over my speakers.
Waving off the confused protests of the (Still snobby-looking) clerk, I snatched the bag and my credit card back from him, before exiting the store in a whirlwind of emotions, most prominently worry and stress. Well, and, you know, wind... I think I was walking pretty quickly.
And anger... that was there too, but I pushed it down for the moment. If I would get angry, I would do it after I figured out what had happened to him. Maybe it was an accident. But for right now, Lovi was most important; Lovi and whether or not he was okay.
"Señor, are you still there? Should I stay on the line or would you like me to meet you outside the hospital?" the woman on the phone said, an undertone of stress now audible in her voice. "For some reason the Italian embassy called and said I should offer you both anything and everything you needed."
"Is he in stable conditions? Is everything okay?" I demanded, taking quick strides across the parking lot to my car.
"Well, he is undergoing surgery, so it's hard to say, but you should know..." she started, but I cut her off before she could finish.
"Sí, I can meet you outside the hospital," I said, before rather unceremoniously hanging up on her.
(~.~) - Lovi!
My little Lovi... My precious... Dios, if anything were to happen to him... Well, I might have to find my halberd again...
Now I know Lovi isn't a reckless driver. He speeds a lot, and so do I, but that's normal. That's not what has me worried. I know nothing as simple as a car crash could kill him. No, I'm worrying about any lasting effects. It could still take him several months to revive if he "died."
Depending on the manner of death, naturally. If it was a simple electrocution or drowning, it would be a few minutes. A heart stop or dehydration, an hour or so. Being frozen solid or blood loss, several hours. I knew all these from personal experience- myself and my friends both did.
But as far as getting your body mangled up goes... Well that's a different story. Months. Oh, they regain consciousness within a day, less sometimes, but their body usually won't work right.
The brain has to repair itself, then all it's connections. Infinite connections. Then there are the bones. There are 206 bones in the human body. Then the heart has to make sure it's working right. Every millimeter of veins and arteries must function. Your spine has to usually piece itself together again and connect all of the above before you can move a muscle. Oh and don't forget not being able to eat or use the bathroom during all of that. What, you think your digestive and excremental systems would magically survive? You'd be wrong.
Imagine being conscious for all of that.
Imagine the pain that causes- like a million needles entering your skin every second, half of which burn, the other half which feel like ice.
Imagine the hunger, the pain you'll go through; like starving for several months even when you try to eat, because your body just can't accept it.
I know all this because it's happened to me before. I just pray the same doesn't ever have to happen to my Lovi.
But I'll worry about all that when I have to. For right now I have to get to Hospital Nuestra Señora de América.
(~.~) - Lovi~!
Ahaha... The way I drove on the way to the hospital... well, it probably wasn't very safe.
At all.
For me or the humans.
Especially the humans.
But, hey, I made it in one piece! That's all that counts, right~?
T-The humans did too!
...
I hope...
Um, so what if I got pulled over five times before I got there?
All I did was show them my ID and they let me pass. My government always gave me the really fancy ID's with the shiny stuff on them that let me do stuff nobody else could do! Yay me!
But anyway~!
Since I was just outside of Madrid for that little shopping outing, (the products of which were still sitting in that bag, on my front seat,) I had to turn around and get back into Madrid to get to the hospital.
My house is just outside Madrid too, but on the opposite side. It's actually a little past Colonia Los Angeles, on a beautiful little side road that leads off into this sort of field-y area, and I own all of it~!
The scientist-y people even hacked all the satellite images of it to make sure it looked like there was nothing on the plot of land that was mine. Lovi looked it up on Google maps once; it looks really barren, with a few trees, but that's not how it is at all! It's really very lovely, with grass and tomato fields and a big mansion in a lovely sort of semi-shaded grove! It's really a stark sort of difference from the picture superimposed over the satellite ones.
Otherwise it'd certainly be developed by now. But since I sort of AM the government, they can't buy it off me~! Or find it~! Hooray for personal havens~!
But what was confusing me was that there's a hospital a lot closer than Madrid that's kind of near the house. So I didn't know what Lovi had been doing that he would be taken to Nuestra Señora de América instead of the one I was familiar with. He must have been driving in Madrid, but... What was Lovi doing in Madrid anyway?
The instant I reached the hospital, I pulled the car around in a screeching arc to stop in front of the curbed entrance to the emergency room. A very worried looking nurse was indeed waiting for me outside, in a petal-pink dress and matching hat. She clutched a clipboard close to her chest, and scrambled backwards a few steps as I tore my keys from the ignition and bolted from the car door to stand in front of her.
"Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, that's me," I said, hitting the lock button on my remote twice. She jumped as the horn resounded, but nodded shakily.
"This way, please?"
I followed her through the emergency lobby to the elevator, and she hit a button that had the number 9 on it. My eyes rose to the gauge above the doors, and watched the symbols light up as we ascended. We were on B now... Now 1, and 2...
"Señor, you really should know..." she began again, but the elevator doors opened, and two fat Europeans dressed as tourists entered the elevator just then, and she stopped talking again.
She kept shooting them glances, willing them to exit the elevator already, so that she could tell me whatever it was she had wanted to say. I, on the other hand, was completely unconcerned. Whatever she had to tell me could wait, si? I mean, I had to see Lovi. After I saw him then we could talk insurance and all that garbage. My government took care of that stuff for me, so I'm sure it'll be the same for Lovi.
Our pale, um... well-fed pair of companions stayed with us for the next five floors, and by 7 when they finally got off, the nurse seemed to have become beside herself with worry.
Now... Normally I would have comforted her.
Normally I would have asked her what was wrong and if I could help, and all manner of other friendly things, but...
Not today.
(~.~) - Lovi!
She accompanied me as I stormed through the halls -which I was honestly a little unnerved to find were quite packed with small children and school teachers... The nurse had mentioned a bus involved in Lovi's crash. Were they from the same accident as Lovi? Were they all okay?- to the room she'd indicated Lovi was in, stammering and asking for me to wait, and being generally cumbersome. (And so were the kids, but even when I was angry/horny/determined, I was careful around children.)
But at the moment, the only thing on my mind was Lovi.
Room 907. Room 907. Room 907.
It drove me forward, drove me to ignore the nurse's mumblings and the complaints of all the disgruntled people I shoved in my haste. With every breath, I muttered it, prayed he would be alright.
Room 906 passed me by, and room 905 was on my other side. I skidded to a halt in front of the closed door to room 907, and took a few seconds to catch my breath. The pink-clad nurse caught up with me as I took a last steadying breath, and within a moment of her arrival I was striding forward, turning the doorknob to room 907 and striding in.
"Lovi," I breathed, and pulled up short at the sight of him.
He was dressed in a hospital gown, and there was a bandage plastered to his forehead, right above his left eye. I could see the marks of a large bandage around his midsection through the papery gown, and another around his right ankle. It looked like he'd broken an arm as well; the left, and there was a glazed look in his eyes that made me wonder what drugs he was on.
But this all... This was manageable! So very manageable compared to the dark thoughts that had been coursing through my mind on the drive here. I could watch him and take care of him until his bones and those scrapes healed, and then everything would be fine!
"Oh, Lovi," I gasped, taking a few careful steps before sinking down to his side and taking his free hand into mine. "Y-You're okay! Oh, mi poco tomate, thank goodness..."
"Sorry?" Lovi said, his voice rising at the end questioningly. "Spain... what are you doing here?"
...
S-Spain?
But... But he never calls me Spain.
Not anymore...
Not after...
"I... I'm on my own now, aren't I? What am I doing here? Why aren't I in Italy?" he demanded. "Where's Feliciano? And that piano bastard, where is he? What... What year is it?"
(~.~) - Lovi...?
A/N: GASP, totally didn't see that one coming, didja? (Ahaha, I'm a sucker for cheesy dramatic shit. Gotta love the classics. Anyway, I'm trying to make this work out, so... yeah. Like, dislike? I'd love opinions~!)
Anyone have guesses for what Antonio was shopping for ;D? I made it really vague on purpose. Of course it'll be revealed later, but I love letting you guys come up with your own solutions. I've already got a few weird guesses from my friends and it's so awesome to know I did it right, because one of them DID guess right, but I didn't tell her so~! Good luck to you all haha~! I might not put up chapter 2 quite yet, but it is done, and I will get it up soon, promise! Kisses, all that shit, wish me luck on my finals... in TWO weeks! (I'm sooooo screwed Dx)
Edit: 6/28/12, fixed a couple sentences alluding to the Italian Independence history, a few grammatical errors