Disclaimer: I don't own red dwarf or anything connected to it.
Chapter 1: Lets Party!
It was just an ordinary day on board the mining ship red dwarf. Lister was lying on his bunk reading "Spidermouse and the mutant ninja baby sparrows" when holly appeared on screen.
"what is it hols?" Lister said casually.
"well not meaning to worry you, I cant find Rimmer anywhere on board, I cant even find his hologramatic sequence in the data banks." At that moment Cat walked in,
"so you can't find goalpost head, Lets Party!" he said in a cheerful tone.
"are you sure holly" Lister said taking an interest.
"of course I am, how could I be wrong" Cat and Lister exchanged looks.
"well holly, you did make us go out in the starbug for 4 hours when you told us that a missile was heading for red dwarf, when, as it turned out it was some dust on your long range sensor" Lister said.
"that was just that one time" Holly said rustled.
"just one time! Were you been the last 27 times?" Cat said looking at holly astonished.
"why don't you do another scan holly, and get Kryten up here" Lister said putting his comic down on the table Kryten had made from the remains of talkie the toaster and sitting down next to Cat.
Meanwhile Kryten was down in the cargo bay polishing the holographic projection machine. Rimmer who would usually monitor his process diligently especially since Kryten could turn him off at this console was absent from the proceedings, Kryten paused and considered the abnormality of this for a second and then continued polishing.
"Kryten your needed" holly said appearing on a screen.
"I'll be right there holly" Kryten replied heading for the lifts.
Cat and Lister were playing draughts when Kryten arrived in Listers room.
"well what's happened sir, what's gone wrong?" Kryten said worriedly.
"Rimmers disappeared, holly can't find him on the ship" Lister replied half-heartedly.
"what colour decorations do you think we should have Blue or gold?" Cat asked Kryten.
"what are you talking about decorations for, Mister Rimmer is missing" Kryten said alarmed.
"The decorations for the party to celebrate him being gone, so do you think gold or blue" cat said.
Kryten looked at Cat in disbelief and said to Lister,
"we should go out in the starbug to try and find him mister Lister"
"well Kryten, it has been more fun without him, but I suppose we should, can you do a scan of space holly so we have an idea of where to look"
"Sure, scanning"
"NO you can't go and find him, he's a complete Smeg head!"
"I know Cat but we have to, otherwise Kryten'll go on at us about it for the rest of our lives" Lister said gluml