Disclaimer: I do not own Skip Beat even if my cow did fly.
One. The day she realizes her fall.
Mogami Kyoko didn't know that the feeling she refuse to acknowledge of having truly does hurt – figuratively and literally. She found her chest tightening as she slightly struggles to breathe evenly. The only thing she could do was to place her hand on top of her chest, as if the act would help calm the storm raging inside her heart.
Fuck mind over matter, she thought. She had been shouting through her mind to freaking calm down but her body stubbornly claims to have a body on its own. This was one of the rare times she would use such a foul word taught by her infernal childhood friend, and it even surprised her to see how irritated she was to the point that she would succumb to such brashness. The cause of such disturbance rests only on one person, the man smiling at her from the television, who was none other than Tsuruga Ren.
When did looking at her sempai start to cause her chest to ache? Initially, when they first met, seeing the man vexed her but eventually she had come to become fond of his company. They had become closer than co-workers, or so she thought, and with all the time they spent together as colleagues and fake siblings, her fondness towards him deepened to a degree that she considers dangerous already. Looking at Tsuruga Ren reminds her of childhood all over again as remembers her young-self hoping for her mother and her friend Shoutaro to love her the way she loves them. I never did learn to stop chasing after hopeless things, the girl thought in melancholy.
She hates herself more because she was the only one bothered by such a trivial and vicious emotion. The man is bloody unaware on how he drives her insane! A mere presence, touch and word of him can conquer every depths of her mind. She wanted to hate the man so much yet she couldn't make herself do it. She tried looking for aspects to hate, his flaws and imperfections, but she ends up falling for those too. For all of the times he had helped her, all she could do was be thankful because without him she probably won't be able to be here right now. For once, she realizes how difficult it was not to be smitten by him. For once, she becomes frightened as she realizes how Tsuruga Ren is much worse than Fuwa Shoutaro.
All of those thoughts flowed through a floodgate as she allows herself for the first time to introspect and reflect the feelings that she tried to ignore ever since. With all the emotions carefully locked inside her chest, a single man managed to break free the box of Pandora with utter ease. Now, love, or evil rather which is for her was more appropriate, has now consumed Mogami Kyoko's world. The locks had fallen and she was not happy about it. Shackled by helplessness, she, for the second time, opened herself to the vulnerability of the blasted emotion called love.
She wondered when everything happened, how such emotion that she carefully monitored, managed to bounteously sprout and bloom inside her heart. It caught her off guard like a thief sneaking inside her home while she is peacefully sleeping. She had been foolish to believe that her defenses were impenetrable. Due to this, she suddenly woke up one day discovering that her heart had already been infiltrated. She cried in her mind as though she had lost a war. She had fallen and she did not know how to go back up.
Desperate to push the man away from her thoughts, she looks at her watch and sees that it's time to meet her de facto manager, Sawara Takenori. She couldn't remember how she got from the Love Me office to the front of Sawara's desk. There was only one thing at this moment in Mogami Kyoko's mind and that is to free herself from the haunting thoughts revolving the man.
"Good afternoon Sawara-san." The actress politely greeted. The head of the Talent division jerked at the actress in front of him, not noticing her arrival. As he returned her greeting, he noticed something odd from the actress. She was acting normal, which was definitely not normal to the usually enthusiastic demeanor of the lady. Neither did she show sadness nor happiness, and it worried him to see her like that. It was as if she was hiding herself behind a mask of indifference.
"Is there something wrong Mogami-san? Are you disappointed with the roles offered to you?" The man reckoned, seeing the files the actress were holding. For him though, there was nothing to be upset of with the bundle of roles that swarmed on his desk. He was even surprised to not see his charge jumping with joy at the variety of offers that requests and calls for her abilities as an actress. With her splendid performances on her previous commercials and dramas, the name Kyoko was gradually being heard in the entertainment industry. Even the man held high regard to the abilities of the lady in front of him. She should have been everything but upset.
"No, there's nothing wrong with the offers Sawara-san. The roles offered to me are wonderful and I am actually having a hard time choosing among them." The actress smiled at the man for the first time who then then sighs in relief, concluding that perhaps that explains the actress' unusual behaviour. "I hope it's okay Sawara-san, but I would like to take these two dramas, two commercials and one PV." The actress continued as she handed the files.
Sawara's eyes widened at the long list of choices of the actress. She couldn't possibly be serious. "I don't think you can handle all of these Mogami-san. And even if your schedule did manage to fit with all of these, I doubt you'll have time to even eat or sleep." He sternly advised, wondering why the hell the actress would want to drown herself in work. Was the workaholic Tsuruga rubbing off on her?
The actress shook her head and smiled in assurance which did not help remove the worried wrinkles on the man's forehead. "Don't worry Sawara-san. I really want this. I just … need test and improve my skills more." And to take my mind off of Tsuruga-san, which was what the actress really intended. Sawara Takenori looked directly at the actress' golden orbs and found her unwavering resolve. He knew then that it would be useless to argue with her. He helplessly nodded at the young lady, telling her that he will handle the rest and will communicate with her within the week. The actress thanked her de facto manager and left the office.
Drowning herself in work is the only thing that Mogami Kyoko could think of as a solution, probably even a band-aid one. Perhaps escaping the presence of her sempai would help ease the disturbance burgeoning inside her.
The actress refuses to raise the white flag. She heaves an endless sigh as she places her hand over her heart once again. No, I have not fallen yet, she whispers to herself with the sound of her steady heartbeat. No matter how hopeless it may seem, she convinces herself of this because she knew very well that nothing good will come if she lets herself fall.
Unbeknownst her, Mogami Kyoko has already fallen off the cliff long ago. An abyss even, it seems. It is only the actress inside of her who stubbornly refuses to acknowledge it.
Yes, the actress denies that Kyoko has fallen hopelessly in love with Tsuruga Ren.
A/N: Okay, I wrote this one in a rush so please forgive me for the grammar and detail mistakes. Please do point out if there are and I'll gladly appreciate it! I've been itching to write an SB story and I forced myself to write one tonight because next week I'm back to my hellish university oh no. It's kind of messy, I think, let me know what you think. R&R please and thank you so much!