Madness in the first degree by chibiness87
Genre: humour/fluff
Pairing: GSR
Spoilers: Nothing past Committed
Disclaimer: Yeah, still not mine.

Summary:Sometimes the best advice comes from yourself.

A/N: So, this fic has been about a month in the making… and in the end took all of 1 hour to write! (Ain't it always the way…) Companion piece (FINALLY) to The First Sign Of Madness. Not beta'd; all mistakes are mine.

You asked her out.

Yup.

You. Asked Sara out.

Yep.

Right…

What?

Huh? Oh, nothing.

No, what?

Well, are you sure?

Sure?

That you asked Sara out.

What are you talking about? Of course I know.

Really?

YES!

Ok, ok. Just checking.

Why?

Well, it's just the way you asked.

What about it?

"Can I buy you breakfast?" Doesn't really scream date

It doesn't?

Um, no, not really.

Are you sure?

It's just, you've bought breakfast before.

Yeah, but not when it was just us.

Good point. Ok.

Thank you.

Does Sara know?

Know what?

That it's just you two.

Yes.

You're sure?

I'm sure.

Ok. Just wanted to make sure… because you never told her that.

It's Sara! I didn't need to tell her that.

If you say so.

What, do you think she won't know?!

She's smart. I'm sure she's figured out Grissom speak by now.

Thank…. Wait, Grissom speak?!

Yeah. Grissom speak.

I don't have my own language!

I have to disagree with you there.

I don't!

Then why is every other sentence out of your mouth a quote?!

They're not.

Ok, well, maybe not every other one, but the vast majority.

I… really?

Yep.

Even around Sara?

Well, no.

See? She'll know.

Around Sara you just freeze up.

That's not…

…true? Oh, I'm definitely going to have to disagree there!

What proof do you have?!

Um, how about the fact it took for her to almost die, again, for you to ask her out?!

What do you mean, again?

What do I… Are you totally stupid?! Lab explosions, pipe bombs, guns in the face, near DUI… any of this ring a bell?

Oh… that.

Yes, that! Jesus man, if you went any slower you'd be going backwards with her.

That's not true!

Oh it is, and you know it. Every time she ever got even close to your wall you retreated. Heck, I'm surprised she's still here, still willing to give you a chance.

Yeah well, you're not the only one there.

No? Good. Glad to know you know how slippery the slope is getting.

Yes, alright. I could be in massive trouble. What do you suggest I do?

…Don't mess it up!

Gee. So very glad you're here to help me.

Look. First you have to make sure she knows it's a date.

And how do I do that?!

Well, I don't know. You could always call her.

And what, say, "Sara, you know this is a date, right?" I don't think so.

No. Nothing that obvious. Just ask her if she's still on for the date.

That's it?

That's it.

No other gesture?

Nope.

No flowers or something?

NO! Trust me, NO flowers. Or plant. Or tree. In fact, stay away from the plant kingdom completely.

Ok. I'll trust your judgement.

Good. Now. Call her.

What? Now?!

Oh for the love of… Yes, now, doofus.

"Sidle."

"Is that how you always answer your phone?"

What does that have to do with anything?

Nothing I guess.

"Yes… why?"

"No reason."

Huh.

What?

Nothing.

"Grissom?"

"Yeah?"

"You called me because…"

Now, just ask if she's still on for after shift.

Yeah, I got that. Thanks.

"Oh, right. I uh, I wanted to um, make sure that uh…"

Can I get a round of applause for the stumbling idiot, please?

Shut up! I'm trying!

Yeah, I can see that.

"Griss?"

It's easy. Repeat after me: "I wanted to make sure we were still on for our date after shift."

"Iwantedtomakesurewewerestillonforourdateaftershift."

Well, close enough, I guess.

"Uh… oh, yeah, um, yeah. Right."

"Sara?"

"Yeah?"

Did she just giggle?

It did seem that way, yes.

"Sara? Are you ok?"

"What? Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm fine Griss. Really. I'll uh, I'll see you later?"

"Yeah. And Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm glad. That you're ok."

Wow.

What?

Nothing. Just impressed you said that. Without stuttering.

Thanks.

"Ok."

You can say bye now, you know.

I know.

"OK. I'll see you later then."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"See you later Griss."

Hang up. Any time now.

"Bye Griss."

Or wait till she hangs up…

Oh shush.

So. You're going on a date with Sara.

Yup.

And she knows.

Yep.

Great. Now, one more question.

What?

What are you going to wear?!

END