A/N: Hey readers. I am a massive Janny fan. I love reading Janny fan fics so I thought I will have a go at creating one myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own holby city (if I did Janny would never break up)

Two years ago if you asked the ice queen, Jac Naylor, who the love of her life was then she would have replied with Joseph Byrne but now, two years later, if you asked her the same question her answer would be different. It would be Jonny Maconie. If you're still alive by this point, and then asked another question, it would probably guarantee your death.

Jac often thought about this question when she was lying in bed trying to get to sleep. Somehow whenever she shut her eyes the question always can back into her mind because she never answered it. She tried to put the question at the back of her mind. In her heart she knew the answer. Her heart didn't have to think twice about it but she couldn't tell her head the answer because it would hurt. Then the tears would start. She hated it when the tears started because then it would remind her of what she has lost. In the end she would fall asleep but the question would still be unanswered.

The next morning:

Jac walked on to Darwin acting her normal self, trying to block all emotions from her heart.

"Miss Naylor, nice to see you." Mo said to her from the nurses' station.

"It's a shame I can't say the same back." The ice queen replied.

Mo ignored the comment and went back to work while Jac entered her office. She would spend about 15 minutes in there each morning. Everyone thought she was just doing paper work but truthfully she was getting herself ready for when she saw Jonny. It still hurt from when she slapped him and they broke up. After 15 minutes of bracing herself, Jac entered the ward and started seeing to patients. She treated a very annoying patient who would keep questioning Jac's work.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" The women asked for about the 5th time already.

"I can reassure you that I am fully qualified to treat you. I haven't got to where I am without hard work." Jac reassured her. Jac saying that made her remind herself of what she had done to people in the past and how she had hurt them. Jonny came over with the scans.

"Miss Naylor scans." Jonny said passing them over to her.

Jac silently took the scans and examined them. So much for bracing herself, when she finished carefully examining the scans she saw Jonny was still standing there silently waiting.

"Haven't you got something else to be doing?" She said in her ice queen tone.

Jonny smiled at her then walked off.

"Ex-boyfriend?" The women said.

"What?" Jac said worried.

"The frisky emotion between you two." She explained, "Or are you just a mean boss?"

Jac ignored her and carried on working and only speaking to Jonny when she had to as they were on no speaking terms. Finally her shift ended before she left she took a glance at Jonny then left the ward for another night.

She arrived at her flat. She slowly went up the stairs; she wasn't in a rush, why would she be? When she did arrive at her door she placed the key in the lock and turned. She entered her apartment and sat on the sofa. That's when it started again. The tears, her and Jonny breaking up, repeating in her head again, all of the times they had broken up. Her head kept asking the question.

She still couldn't stop the tears flowing nothing could make her feel worse so Jac decided to get an early night. She wiped her tears away and splashed water in her face then climbed into bed. She was about to start crying again when she heard a knock at her door. She wiped the tears away again then answered it.

"Jonny, what are you doing here?" She asked trying to cover up the fact that she had been crying.

"I think we need to talk." Jonny said so Jac let him in, "Have you been crying?"

"No." Jac said.

Jonny looked very unconvinced, "About this no speaking terms." Jonny began, "I think we should stop it and become civil."

"Okay fine whatever you want." Jac said going back to ice queen mode, "Is that all you wanted?"

"Yep." Jonny replied leaving. The door slammed shut but Jac immediately opened it again and rushed down stairs to catch Jonny up.

"Jonny. Wait." Jac shouted.

Jonny turned around to face Jac. It was time she confessed everything.

"Listen, I know me and you weren't the best couple in the world." Jac said, "I cheated on you and I've kept secrets from you but the worst part is I've kept feelings from myself and I know you're probably standing thinking I'm a bitch. I am, I'm a total bitch. I should never have slapped you. I am so sorry but when I go to sleep at night, this question keeps popping up in my head."

"What question?" Jonny asked slightly bewildered that Jac had just said all of that.

"Who did you love the most Joseph or Jonny?" Jac told him.

"And you're telling me this because." Jonny asked.

"Because I've never listened to my heart, just my head but this time my head doesn't know the answer my heart does." Jac explained

"So what's the answer?" Jonny asked.

"Jonny." She said, "Every time. I love you and I know I messed up so many times but when I'm with you, you make my heart race and my legs wobble. I never felt like that with anyone. Not even Joseph. I know you're never going to take me back but I just wanted to tell you the truth."

Jac then turned around to go back to her flat.

"Jac." Jonny called after her, "Jac Naylor wait."

Jac turned back around to face Jonny again.

"You need to listen to your heart more often." He said before pulling her in for a kiss. Jac was shocked that he had taken her back but she felt her heart face again and her legs wobble. She returned the kiss then grabbed his hand and led him to her flat.

A/N: So what did you think? It wasn't meant to be that sad, honestly. Please review and give me any tips you can to make me a better writer. This story isn't my best. So I continue?