I no longer had control of my protoform. The programming that was force upon me in my younger cycles kicked in sending me to an empty void that I was to stay forever more. I was left to think upon what had happened to make my evil, as I call it, kick in. It never kicked in, until now of course. My life cycles were spent fighting down this… this plague. I had to fight my programming to keep me self. No one knew of course, and I was thankful for that then, but now? I might have told some one to prevent the destruction it was causing. But I do not ponder in the past for long. It is useless to think of what had been, because you cannot change the past. So I do not try.
I am left to hope… no. Not hope. Hope is for those who do not have to go through what I did and do. Hope is for the beings that do not have every fiber of their mental state of mind ripped from their rightful place and shoved into the coldest, darkest, and most empty void in their protoform. I don't pray ether. Preying is for those who can fight of glitches and programming. Like the Autobot Red Alert. But I don't ponder in this long ether. The Autobots are in my past now. I do not see them any more.
I am left waiting. I wait. I wait for the imminent possibilities that I know are to come. I, myself, know death is imminent for every being with a soul, but know that I, myself, know that I shall perish locked up in my protoform, is not a pleasurable emotion. Ether I shall perish quickly and painlessly. It might feel warm as I realize that I am free of all bonds that hold me captive in my own protoform, or it might feel cold as I realize that I shall perish with out goodbyes from others… or that I had perished locked inside of myself or a combination of the two. My death might be slow and painful. The pain may be to much for my mental fibers and I may not have last thoughts, or my last thought will be, ' Were did I go wrong?'
Another possibility is that in this nearly pitch-black void, only lighted by my fading gold spark, another light well appear. This possibility is not impossible, for I have seen others lifted from their shadows by a light. A light that may or may not be familiar to me. The light might pull me out of this void, to the reality I loved so much, or it my just be there. Just for me.
Until then, I shall wait. I well watch my evil tare apart my beliefs and ways of life. I shall watch it break my most sacred law. My most personal and strongly held law of my own. Hurt no one physically or mentally. It pains my fading spark that I can do nothing to protect my own laws. Laws I live by, but I shall wait for fate to take pity on my and ether end my existence or save it. I shall wait for the light. Ether one will be fine. The one that will take me back to reality, or the one that will bring my faded spark to the matrix. My story has been locked way to the pits of my being, but for others, it lives on.
Will I get the chance to tell the others why an acted the way I did? Or shall I perish as the bad guy. I may never know.