[[Hello Readers! This is my first time taking a crack at writing a fanfiction in a long time and I figured why not give writing a homestuck fanfic a shot? So I typed up this steaming mess of words for a Dirk Jake one!
Also please note there are some graphic parts in this fanfiction describing war, injury and death.

NOTICE: I do not check this website very often so if you have any questions, concerns, opinions, comments , etc on this please send it to my tumblr inbox here where I'll be sure to see them ask , Please do not report me if you have any problems with it please make sure to send me a message over tumblr and I will see what I can do about it.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own homestuck or any of the characters

WARNING: The characters in this fanfiction may not hold true to their canon personalities given the situations The author (Aka me) Has put them through and has adapted their mind sets to deal with certain things more realistically. The POV is mainly from Jake's point of view though it may change later on. Please keep these things in mind while reading.]]

They say you never know what you've got until it's gone and as stupid as it sounds it's true, not just in a romantic way or a family way but in a way of life too, some things change that make even what you thought to be the shittest thing a golden memory in comparison. For a long time he had thought the place he had called home with his younger sister and grandmother had been a prison, that no matter how many flowers his sister managed to bloom in the garden or how the vines that engulfed the left side of the cold brick home it would never have any sign of life to it just like the rest of the miserable town they lived in, but it was amazing how quickly an opinion can be changed. Most people can't remember what it was like when the west of England was attacked or just weren't even around for the bomb raid that surprised the nation, but there were some who remember it all too well , no matter how much they may try to erase it. Jake English was 16 when the bombs dropped on his usually quiet town while his younger sister Jade was barely 13. The day it happened seemed so surreal when he looked back on it now, he and his sister were coming home from hunting in the nearby forest, getting a few birds to eat so that they didn't have to spend too much money when they went to the market next, it was a beautiful spring morning, barely a cloud in the sky and the harsh sun was cooled by a breeze that came from the west , a rare thing for England in general to have in spring but no one complained. They were laughing and telling jokes as they made their way home, Jake carrying their guns while Jade held onto the birds they'd recently killed, their dog beck following behind , they were careful of the cracks in the stone walkway leading up to their home, listening as they heard the usual noon church bells ring in the distance but Jake could remember the uneasy feeling that moved in the air as they entered their home and he had reason for such a feeling. No later after getting in did sirens sound in the air, letting everyone know enemy planes were above and that only meant one thing, bombs. Jake could remember rushing his grandmother and sister outside and down into the bomb shelter closing the door once he and beck had made it in, only managing to see each other from the dim lantern his grandmother had brought along. The air was uneasy and everything was painfully silent as everyone dreaded what came next and soon enough there was an almost whistling sound before a loud boom sounded throughout the town followed by many more, the ground shaking as his sister wept clinging to their grandmother while Jake held beck close.

It wasn't clear how long the raid went on for but it felt like centuries before it seemed safe to come out, Jake making his way out first to survey the damages and what he saw made his heart sink, homes destroyed, smoke high in the air, the sounds of screams and crying faintly heard under the few still standing sirens and the rest he supposed he blocked from his memory. He knew not long after recruits were being taken to join the military and to no surprise Jake had been one chosen and it was clear they were going to take him given his skills so he said his goodbyes to his grandmother and sister not knowing how long it would be until he saw them next, making sure jade took good care of their guardian before he went on his way. It had taken Jake nearly a day to travel down to London for testing on his health and reflexes to make sure they were right in making him a soldier, he felt guilty for hoping would get some sort of illness to get out of the job but he knew how unlikely it was and just put on his best face. Jake had managed to pass all of the tests given to him, he was strong enough to do the few tasks based off muscle endurance, he knew he owed the summer job he usually took at the lumber mill for that, his height and weight were standard for his age, his vision was 20/20 as well as hearing and his reflexes didn't fail to impress just as his how fast mind worked quickly to assess and solve problems did. In short a near perfect soldier for someone who was just barely 18. When training began it was more intense then he would have hoped for, it was almost unbelievable how many times he got nicked by barbed wire before he managed to crawl under it properly and proceed with the rest of his training everyday, not to mention the hand to hand combat that went on for hours to rule out who wasn't fit for the 'always-giving-it-your-all' energy they craved no matter how winded you were. He supposed what really killed him is when they made you run even after all the hand to hand combat and do another course run through afterwards while you were given a 60lb bag to carry on your back as you too and expected to keep strong until you made it to the goal time.

The days at camps were truly made to push you to your limits and he learned that very quickly, waking up before the sun even shows its face, sometimes earlier with surprise drills, having to get dressed quickly and be ready to eat quickly before you began your training to use up every last bit of your energy and more, ending in time for you to get just about 8 hours of sleep and sometimes 3 if it calls for special training days. Although it was a brutal time training ,he was thankful for every last second of it when the time came to actually fight in the war head on, though it was something you couldn't even dream to be prepared for when you're tossed in the middle of it. There was something so surreal about being in battle that made it so frightening but you had no choice but to remain calm, the adrenaline that pumped through your body could only keep you at ease for so long while you had to hide from other men who shot at you with the intent to kill you. It was a odd feeling to have to kill a man , to have someone fall under your hand ,but there was no time to think about that on the field, not when you could be killed in one split second if you make a wrong move. Jake knew to be careful with every motion even before training, not just for himself but for the men that followed behind him. It was terrifying to think if he even messed up once he would have caused mens lives on his own account, though it was even more terrifying to barely escape the wrath of an exploding grenades and bullets as you ran to new shelter, feeling as if your heart might actually beat it's way out of your chest if there wasn't a vest over it.

The men behind him fanned out after they got close enough to the target area leaving Jake to strategize for himself as he prepared to storm the area with the other men surrounding the area. He managed to bring down a few more enemy men that tried to cross his path as he moved further up the line only stopping when he saw his commanding officer injured to the side , he couldn't just ignore an injured ally no matter what orders were given for him to leave him behind. He quickly gathered up the man getting two others to watch his back until he was far back enough to be a bit more safe and he got him almost completely back to the base lines before he saw a grenade come flying in making it a little ways further than himself and the man draped over his shoulders, knowing there was no real way to avoid the blow he dropped the commander down and shielded him with his own body before the grenade exploded, the blast made it just far out enough to hit him burning up Jakes back to where he could feel his uniform burning away while a few layers of skin did the same, his eyes suffered just the same as the thick sulfur from the explosion got into his eyes burning them to where his vision blurred horribly despite how much he blinked to clear it he could faintly recall being lifted up by a fellow ally before he blacked out from the pain. When he woke next he found he was in a military hospital his vision seemingly fine until he realized it was only due to the glasses that now sat upon his face, he couldn't help but think about how it reminded him of the ones his grandparents wore or even his sister.

He wasn't up long before he was greeted by a nurse who asked him how he felt, before she fixed his bandages a bit more while she explained what had happened and of condition. The woman explained that he would receive a hand full of medals for what he had done and the life he saved before he was going to be let off on leave for injury to heal properly in a less stressful environment, the only thing he could think about was being able to go home and see his family after so long ,he was barely listening to the nurse anymore before he heard her say she was so sorry which earned a more than confused face from the man before he was handed a white envelope. He opened the letter before recognizing the seal was from the military unit that usually delivered new of a soldiers death which only meant bad things and he knew it. He read the letter reluctantly with a heavy heart soon finding out west England had been hit again in the dead of night leaving little to no time for anyone to really hide away and escape the fury of enemy bombs, the search team had been able to identify the bodies of his sister and grandmother with the help of a neighbor in the rubble of his home and he would be left to decide what would be done with the bodies. He felt his heart clench as he crumpled up the paper in his fist, in that moment he didn't care how many years had passed since he saw them, what he'd done or achieved, if he was now 20 or that he was in a room of other injured grown men , All he cared about was that he couldn't keep his promise that he would make it home in time for his sisters 18th birthday because now she would never have one. He wept for what might have been hours before he managed to get a hold of himself, the few military brothers he had in the room consoling him in his time there until he was seemingly better. A few days past before he was well enough to pull together a funeral for them both making sure they were buried like the heroes they were to him a few days later. When time he put on his uniform as well as a few other men from his squad to join in the two person closed casket funeral off to the north of west England where his grandfather had been buried, the service was nice and a well amount of people had showed as the last of his family was buried. A few weeks after the funeral Jake was was well enough to attend an award ceremony in his honor, receiving his medals from the commander whose life he had saved, a few of the awards being the medal of honor and a purple heart , though he could only really focus on the two empty seats in the room. While he was confused why he was receiving an American medal he soon found out it was because he was being repositioned over to the united states military having they "needed a soldier like him" , normally he would be up in arms over such a thing but he just didn't have the will to anyone, there was nothing holding him to England any more after all.

He accepted the money he received from the military as well from a deed before he gathered the few belongings he had including the old military dog tags of his grandparents and a ring from his sister before he made his way to America with a little less than a bag full of things and his uniform to him. After a long flight he found himself on a train heading to Austin Texas where he would meet with a director that would show him to his new home not far from his new base. It was a mostly peaceful ride , left alone for the most part in the barely filled cart, being asked occasionally if wanted anything by a woman with a food cart, nothing too distracting which was alright he supposed though it wouldn't kill to have something to distract his mind from the racing thoughts he had of England and the lack of family he now had. When the train ride had come to an end after what seemed like forever he grabbed his few belongings and went out looking around for his ride growing a bit worried until he noticed a women in American uniform waiting around holding a sign with private English on it. He walked over towards her brushing away the sudden realization that this was happening and there was no more going back to England after this, he was now going to be an American citizen and military man. He closer inspected the girl noticing right away that she was surprisingly pale for someone from Texas, her blonde hair back in a bun and she wasn't at all bad looking, short yes, bad looking no. "Private English I assume?" He snapped from his thoughts at the fitting bubbly voice he heard from the girl he approached "Yes, Ma'am. You must be Private Lalonde?" He questioned holding out a hand to her , giving and receiving a firm shake from the smaller hand. "Please, call me Roxy, from now on you and I are assigned training buddies for the when you come off leave." She smiled towards him as she took back her hand and walked with him leading him out to one of the base jeeps that looked fairly similar to every one he'd seen in American war movies. "Ah, I see, well then you can call me Jake I hope we'll be good friends having we'll be seeing a lot of each other ,eh?" He offered her a smile earning a small laugh from the other that was more or less a snort which was honestly pretty funny coming from someone so small, she had to be only 5'2" at least. "Of course, the best of mates! I'll make sure to protect you from the big guys on base." She teased earning a laugh from Jake as they began their drive through the heat of the bright Texas evening. They drove for what must had been an hour drive at least to a rather larger town not far from the city , there seemed to be plenty to do in it by the looks but according to his new friends it was a total snooze fest half the time. About 30 minutes west of the town was the military base almost in the middle of nowhere but he could already tell it was far different than the one he was used to back in England. Roxy waved to the man standing guard at the gate as she drove into the base Jake wasting no time having a look around, it was bigger than the emerald base, far more soldiers too, he could only imagine what training would be like here. When they came to a stop Jake brushed off his uniform he knew today was going to be the basics but he wanted to at least look presentable for his officers. "Nervous?" He heard Roxy chirp from his side as they walked together into the main hall , earning a small chuckle from him "I don't think think it's possible for me to be nervous anymore." He chimed back earning a small shove from her before they both straightened up and gave salute as they were met with , what Jake assumed, their officer. They both relaxed when told before Roxy was let go and Jake was shown around by his officer and briefed on what he should expect when he joins them, he was given a short physical and given a full U.S. Military uniform before he was allowed to leave for the day and see his new home.

He couldn't help but feel like just some sort of weird dream, one minute he was in England serving for the queen and the next he'd been traded over to serve in the U.S. , he still barely had a grasp on how the currency here worked let alone how he was expected to spend the last 3 weeks of his leave until he got approved to return. Once he finally found the exit he looked around for his battle buddy before finding her sleeping in the jeep, he quietly walked over and knocked on the metal a bit causing her to jump before relaxing a bit "Jesus Christ ,Jake! I almost pissed myself!" She yelled towards him pouting as she sat up in the car, earning a small laugh from Jake as he got in "My bad didn't know you were easily spooked." He teased earning a small punch from her "I'll easily spook them dumb accent out of you if you're not careful!" He almost took her seriously for a second if she didn't end up laughing after a few seconds , probably at his face. He wasn't used to being around someone who would lighten up to him so easily, usually it would take at least a week to get on drinking buddy terms but with Roxy it seemed they were already long time friends which wasn't a bad thing at all, he needed that now more than they got back into town Roxy explained what places had the best food and beer and which were alright, where the good clubs were and what not before she pulled up to a large building that more or less just looked like a warehouse to him. "Uh, Are you sure this is the right place, Roxy?" Jake questioned as he got out of the car taking in the run down look of the exterior, he couldn't judge too much given he couldn't see inside too well given how blinding the sun was here. "Well all the apartments and houses are pretty much sold out in this area and since this building hasn't been used in so long my friend turned it into a house, government bought and boom you get this lovely two story place to yourself." Roxy noted trying to lighten the mood about him basically living in a warehouse though he knew it had been gutted and turned into a liveable place it was a bit odd but Americas did crazy things all the time he supposed. "It's better than sleeping under a bridge I guess. But seriously? All this to myself? No roommates or anything?" He questioned as he watched Roxy mess with the keys to the door "Well I mean, you can probably get a dog or something, I'm a cat person myself but who am I to judge." She smiled softly before shoving the door open and flipping on the lights inside, he was surprised at what he saw. Not only was it made to look like a nice scaled loft but it was way better than any home he'd ever been in before from the polished hardwood floors to the white painted walls and modern decor it was a jaw dropping sight. "I take back whatever doubts I had before, you're friend is awfully good at decorating." Jake placed his things down and took a look around his new home all in all very pleased with it "Well he didn't really do all of it , he just designed it and had some friends do the rest." Roxy called up to him as he made his way down the steps before they both joined on the sofa in the middle of the room "Even so, I'm thoroughly impressed." He noted to her still in awe slightly before she laughed at him "Well I'm sure Dirk will be happy to hear he has an admirer...Oh! I almost forgot you have a home phone here , you'll probably need to get a cell phone too but just so you don't worry I wrote down my number for you in case you ever need someone to talk to or going drinking with , I'm your gal." Jake took a small folded up paper ,looking it over slightly to memorize it before sticking it in his pocket "Well you should expect many calls because I have no idea how half of the things in America work."

He reclined back into the couch listening to Roxys sudden rant of explanation on how their money, street system, phone numbers, cabs, etc worked which gave him more or less a brief knowledge though he honestly zoned out a bit in the middle. He was glad he had a friend already and that she was willing to explain to him what he needed to know instead of thinking of him as an idiot for not knowing what came so naturally to them he almost got too carried away in thought before one of her questions snapped him back into reality "Pardon?" Jake asked a bit hazy on if he heard all of her words or not "I asked whose dog tags and ring are you wearing there?" She questioned once more pointed to the objects that hung from his neck before he held them in his hand looking them over himself. "Oh, these? The dog tags belong to my grandparents, my grandpa was MIA for a few years until they identified him, and the ring belonged to my little sister Jade she and my grandma both died in the last air raid on west England." He spoke simply of it now, it was sort of a dull pain to think of them knowing that there was nothing he could have done to prevent it from happening and that he couldn't bring them back , it was pointless to stay wounded over it for so long. He noticed Roxy suddenly get a bit quiet before she spoke up voice laced with pity he didn't want to hear "I'm so sorry ,Jake..I didn't know.." He waved her off before giving her a small smile letting her know he was fine "It's alright, I know couldn't stop it from happening and I can't undo it now, I'm just trying to move past it and start with my new life." He heard Roxy give a small sigh and nod a bit in response looking as if she had more to say before her phone went off, blasting a song he knew was sung by lady gaga. "Wow, way to ruin a moment , Dirk." She mumbled a bit earning a raised eyebrow from Jake as he recognized the name, the guy who designed his new home, she answered her phone her face suddenly changing to worry shortly before she spoke a bit quickly before hanging up "Shit ,Jake, I'm sorry I gotta go, Dirk's kid is missing and I gotta help find him, I guess he wandered off from play time at daycare." He stood with her walking with her to the door "What? Seriously? Then go! Tell me what happens later alright!" He called out to her as she ran to the jeep agreeing before she went on her way leaving him to his thoughts now. He paced a bit with the new found worry he had for a kid he didn't even know, and a kid of dirks? That guy had to be at least his and Roxys age but he supposed teenagers having kids happened a lot too and he wasn't one to judge given his mom was 18 when she had him. He knew he had no idea who this kid was or what they even looked like but , hell how hard was it to find a little kid that was probably scared and lost in the small town? With that he quickly changed out of his uniform and into the only other street clothes he had of a navy green t-shirt, cargo shorts and his sneakers before he locked up his place and set out to find some mystery child. He couldn't help but think of all the things he was prepared to do today and how this certainly wasn't one of those things.