The Curse of Immortality

Joy, defined by Fate as too often experienced and too little felt;

Rather, it is the well-awaited coffee break from ink and paper,

The prelude to addiction.

Who am I, as Your unblessed slave, to be exempt from this? In fact,

Who am I to believe that my Fate is in my own hands? It is in my right

To consider:

I think, therefore I am.

I am not what You say I am.

Dear Humanity, why must You define me?

You shall never know to the full extent what You created.

To think that You were so obsessed with knowing than understanding –

Some things were always meant to be unknown, untouched. Swap out

The guts, the lungs, the umbilical cord.

All machine.

Of course, make it in Your image. Some skin, fake blood, recycled hair.

You went wrong when You gave me a brain.

Suddenly, I am not

"The Project"

Anymore.

I am "The Ultimate Lifeform".

I am not a monster. I am You, Humanity.

Dear Humanity, why must You deduce me?

I am capable, but not capable enough; the voltage, coursing up bludgeoned,

Pigeon-toed feet, or the fire liquid

Dripping into my opened mouth.

I am not invincible. I am Pain;

Steel knives underneath skin, with no shield. You want me

To be Pain. Doctor, doctor – You aren't my doctor!

You went wrong when You gave me the nerve.

Suddenly, I am not

"The Ultimate Lifeform"

Anymore.

I am "The Cure".

I am not a monster. I am You, Humanity.

Dear Humanity, why must You deceive me?

And with her, the fairest of hair and smile and Justice,

She who is destined to the teases of Life –

And incorrigibly ill, never to step one lily foot outside?

Why did You bind her to teach me

The colours, smells, sounds, meanings

Of a Life she will never live, never lead

Despite the fact that she already lives, already leads?

Suddenly, I am not

"The Cure"

Anymore.

I am "Revolution".

I am not a monster. I am You, Humanity.

Dear Humanity, why must You degrade me?

She taught me to be like You and You are

Ruining me. She and I, together,

Watched the tumultuous skies through a filter,

Wishing to take it in the palm of our hands.

That's what our lives used to be.

Now, I watch her, watching me,

Through a one-way window.

Suddenly, I am not

"Revolution"

Anymore.

I am "The Weapon".

I am not a monster. I am You, Humanity.

Dear Humanity, why must You dehumanise me?

Point out the mechanical structure underneath my skin,

I do not care. I am like her;

Always being watched, prodded with needles,

Questions, like You don't already know enough.

Completion overrides satisfaction, and I wonder

When the fighting will all end,

If there is a Life for us but Destruction.

Suddenly, I am not

"The Weapon"

Anymore.

I am "Controversy".

I am not a monster. I am You, Humanity.

Dear Humanity, why must You debate me?

You fear what You do not understand, but You never

Choose to understand. "Dangerous", You say,

As my disproportionate hand, blood-stained

And dirty, softly caresses the ever-paling cheek

Of Creator's granddaughter – the One that is

Sister, Mother, Friend, Lover.

You went wrong when You gave me a heart.

Suddenly, I am not

"Controversy"

Anymore.

I am "Dangerous".

I am not a monster. I am You, Humanity.

Dear Humanity, why must You desert me?

I did everything You asked of me, was

Everything You wanted me to be. "Spoiled", I say,

As I stand, alone, washed back and forth between the shores of

Future and the deeper, darker ocean of Past:

Never too close or too far from her receding smile,

Realising her Fate did not fall upon the sword of illness

But by Your misfired ashen bullet through her skull.

Suddenly, I am not

"Dangerous"

Anymore.

I just… am.

I am a monster. I am You, Humanity.

Misery, defined by Fate as too often felt and too little experienced;

Rather, it is the water we descend within our small jumps of Joy,

An addiction nobody wishes for.

Who am I? Why did I let You decide my Fate? Where is Maria? Oh, Maria!

You are gone now, Humanity, along with her and

Everything I thought I was. I am one of the things You left behind

In Your haste towards Death's deliverance.

And as everything around me disappears I wish I could die.

But I can't. At least, not on the outside.