I wrote this on a scrap of paper at in semi-darkness at around 2 in the morning, in a tent and a sleeping bag. It wouldn't let me sleep. So.. I wrote it. Sorry if there's loads of mistakes and it's jumbled but I was sleepy :S Hope you like it anyway. :D

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"Booth, can I ask you something?"

Seeley Booth smiled easily at Hodgins who stood over his beloved microscope and he leaned forwards on the metal railing around the workstation. "I thought you Squints would hate the paradox in that question." He laughed.

Hodgins smiled back, somewhat wary. "Well, usually yeah, but I figured I could handle a little paradox if when I'm about to ask a gun-toting FBI Agent a personal question."

Booths laid-back smile fell a bit and he pushed back from the railing slightly. "Woah, woah... how personal? This isn't more marriage advice right?"

"No, nothing like that."

Booth considered that for a moment, then ventured cautiously, "Okay... well, er... What did you want to ask?"

There was a pregnant pause.

"Booth, are you gay?"

Booths eyebrows shot up and he spluttered in surprise. "What?!" Hodgins waited patiently for an answer while the Special Agent floundered around. "No, I'm not gay. Why do people keep asking me that?"

"Who keeps asking if you're gay?"

Booth cut him off with a hand gesture. "Never mind. Where did that even come from?"

"What, the people thinking you're gay thing?"

"No! Well, yeah, but..." Booth leaned closer to the bug man and lowered his voice, asking apprehensively, "Do I... do I give off some sort of... 'vibe'?" As Hodgins face twisted in badly restrained hysterics, he quickly withdrew the question. "Actually, forget it." He straightened up, and scowled at his questioner. "You know, I should shoot you right now."

Fighting off his amusement, Hodgins turned back to his microscope. Now his question was answered he seemed somewhat disinterested in the rest of the conversation, and carried on speaking without looking up from his work. "There's no vibe man. Dr B was just asking me all these questions earlier and I thought it might have something to do with you, that's all."

"Wait, hold on!" Booth asked incredulously and somewhat horror stricken. "Bones put you up to this?"

Oblivious of Booths mortified expression, he continued. "Nah, she didn't mention you exactly. She was just asking me things for a guy's perspective I guess." At Booths confused face he elaborated, "You know, stuff like if it was normal for a man to abstain from dating for extended periods of time. Or how long after Angela until I tried to date again. Oh, and 'mid life crisis' stuff too." He snorted at that one and carried on peering through his microscope, while Booth stared slack jawed at the entomologist, his mortification growing. "I could tell she didn't put much stock in the psychology of that one 'cause she started going on about hormone levels and decreased stamina. "

A stunned Booth struggled to from a coherent sentence. "But, what does that have to do with me being gay?"

Hodgins eyed Booth sceptically. "Seriously dude?" He rolled his eyes. "Dr B only asks me stuff like that when she's puzzling over something to do with you. Like when she wanted to know if boys ever change after High School. She's obviously worried about you're..." he coughed delicately. "...'love life'." Hodgins couldn't resist smirking at the suddenly less cocky, but increasingly defensive FBI Agent.

Booth straightened up and adjusted his belt buckle. "I do just fine, thank you." He glared pointedly at the smaller guy, who bit back a laugh.

"Yeah well, I'm not gonna say you're lying... Mainly because you're glaring at me like that and your fingers are twitching to reach for a gun but... I think you're being gay would answer a lot of questions for our troubled doctor."

"I'm not gay."

Ignoring this, Hodgins began to puzzle over something then wagged a finger absentmindedly as he considered it. "You know, it might make sense if you were that way inclined. You haven't been with anyone for ages-"

"Hodgins I have a gun." Booth growled through clenched teeth.

Hodgins carried on, lost in the logic. "- and your Catholicism would mean you probably would never pursue a life of homosexuality. And a lot of people are scared to come out. Fear's a pretty strong motivator you know. Ergo, repressed sexual-"

"Hodgins!" Booth shouted, his body tensed and his eyes flashing. The bug man suddenly seemed to come out of hypothesis-induced reverie.

"Hey dude, I'm all for love, doesn't matter to me who it's to."

"I'M NOT GAY!"

The entire Jeffersonian Lab fell silent at Booths outburst. Squints gazed at him in mixtures of shock and amusement. Booth glared at them individually until one by one they all turned back to their work, snickering under their breath. Slowly he turned the full force of his glare back to Hodgins who spluttered and held up both hands in a placating gesture.

"Hey man, I was just looking to help Dr B out!" He protested. "She just seemed kind of worried about you."

The glare softened as a sudden inspiration hit him and Booth replied, "Yeah? Well, way I see it, Bones responds to honesty. I'll be more than happy to answer all of the questions that genius brain of hers conjures up." His eyes were fierce now and Hodgins would have been frightened at this sudden passion had it not been for the small smirk tugging at the corner of Booths mouth. "Hodgins, would you do me a favour and not tell Angela about this conversation for at least half an hour?"

Hodgins frowned but was glad that the Agents anger seemed to have diffused. "Er, sure. Why?"

"Cause she's smart and it would be all your fault if I had to silence her squealing by any means necessary."

Now Hodgins was even more confused. "Why?"

With a wicked glint in his eye and a mirthful grin baring his teeth in a devious smirk, Booth turned and started walking determinedly in the direction of Dr Brennan's office, saying only, "Because I'm about to inform Bones of just how straight I am."

Hodgins gaped after him, and slowly his open mouth came together in realisation, his face wearing a grin wide enough to match Booths.

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Please review, it will make a teenager happy. :) Hug a hoodie and all that jazz... who's stupid idea was that anyway? :D
Thanks for reading.
xx