"Ah," sighed Angelo as he seated himself comfortably in the chair across the window. Outside the inn the sky was darkening to twilight. Angelo looked out the window, seeing his comrades Deaoz, Yangus, cursed Trode and Medea along with the oh-so-lovely Jessica talking amongst themselves. The team had a plan to attack the Dark Citadel in two days time, and as the most crucial member of the party, the healer, Angelo had gone to his room to rest up. Glad to have some time by himself for just a few minutes, Angelo reached for his favorite book among his belongings. "Time to further my mind and prepare myself," Angelo spoke to himself. "It's been so long since I've read. It's about due time." With that said, Angelo began gazing at the pictures in the gaudy Bunny-Girl pin-up sports edition.
"Oh, hey, Angelo," greeted someone very, very familiar right into Angelo's ear.
"Hello, Marcell- Oh? What are you doing here?! You disappeared on Neos. I've been searching ardently for you!" Maybe, Angelo thought, that was a bit of a lie. With a note to himself he added that he really had taken time to search for Marcello, by putting up lost 'Diabolic Bastard' posters throughout towns.
"You know I was on the ship today...." started Marcello who seated himself comfortably at the window's edge, "....and there was this guy, dressed up in this strange Italian clothing and he was waving at me and winking at me and acting really friendly..."
"Marcello, tell me what are you doing here? Where have you been? How did you survive that battle? And why are you smiling at me?" Angelo was just a tad perturbed. This was not typical Marcello behavior. First off, Marcello does not greet Angelo, he yells at him and scowls at him. Second off, Marcello does not smile nicely, he does his creepy sadistic grin of evilness. Third off, Marcello wouldn't take the time to actually look for Angelo and talk to him, Marcello avoids Angelo.
"And you know what I thought?" continued Marcello as if Angelo hadn't said anything. "I think that guy was gay."
Angelo was getting annoyed now. "Marcello, if you're not going to answer my questions, leave. Deaoz is preparing the rest of the party for the storming of the Dark Citadel. He's going to brief me personally of what I'm going to do. So if you have nothing of importance to say come back after we've killed Rhapthorne."
"Did you hear what I said, Angelo, little bro?" said Marcello kinda creepishly as he leaned right into Angelo's face.
Now Angelo was disturbed beyond all reasoning. Without putting his book down he leaned farther back in his chair away from Marcello. "Marcello, have you suffered a recent head injury? You're acting peculiar."
"I just think it's something that us roommates should talk about," said Marcello patting Angelo on the head.
"Marcello, we aren't roommates and we never were roommates. Remember? You always took the lavish Captain's chamber while you sent me to sleep in the dirt with the trainee monks." Angelo was getting annoyed. He knew Marcello was doing this for some devious purpose.
"'Cuz I mean, if I was gay that's something I would want to talk about with you."
Angelo nodded his head for once agreeing with Marcello. "Indeed, I have wondered that about you, brother."
"And if you were gay - "
And with that being said Angelo's eyes widened in fear as the famed Avenue Q song replaced the Baccarat background.
"I'd just want you to know, that it would be okay!" finished Marcello, smiling widely.
"Glad we sorted this out, Marcello. Now if you could just leave - " but Angelo was interrupted as Marcello expectantly burst into song.
"If you were gay! That'd be okay! Cuz hey, I like you anyway!"
"Marcello, stop this before - " but Angelo was too late. Deoz, Yangus, and Jessica walked into the room.
"Angelo, what's going on here?" asked Jessica as she watched Marcello dance about the room singing in his now perfectly tenor voice.
Angelo was then hit with the perfect idea. "Quickly, everyone, attack Marcello! He's under Rhapthorne's control again!"
"But 'e's not holdin' the scepter," said Yangus confused as he avoiding colliding with Marcello as the ex-Templar captain began throwing himself about the room.
"Um, it's invisible now, or.... uh, just attack him anyway!" shouted Angelo.
"I've never heard this song before," said Deoz aloud as he sat down and began watching Marcello sing the rest of the song.
"And if it were me I would feel free to say that I was gay. But. I'm. Not. Gay!"
"Yangus, what does gay mean? I thought it meant happy?" asked Deoz innocently. Jessica stared in open mouth shock at the hero while Yangus snickered.
"No! Don't tell him!" protested Angelo. Deoz's innocence was just the kind of thing Angelo was looking for in a younger friend. Angelo wanted to be the one to introduce Deoz to the wonders of bunny girls and the lovely princess, but he for sure didn't want it being ruined with thoughts of homosexuality.
"Angelo," sang Marcello as he put his hands on Angelo's shoulders. "If you were queer, I'd still be here year after year, because you're dear to me!"
"Marcello, you hate me," said Angelo trying to remind his half-brother the way he use to act.
"And I know that yooooou would accept me too! If I told you that hey! I was gay. But. I'm. Not. GAY!"
"I'd take it upon myself to put you out of your misery if that were the case," growled Angelo pushing Marcello's hand off him.
"I'm happy, just being with you, so much that it wouldn't matter to me what you do in bed with other guys!"
The room went silent. Marcello was breathing heavily from all of his singing.
"Now I know what gay means. Thanks, Marcello," concluded Deoz.
"Angelo, is what 'e blatherin' on about true?" asked Yangus staring at Angelo is horror.
"EVERY WORD HE SAYS IS A LIE!" screamed Angelo thrusting his beloved Bunny-Girl magazine into the air. Jessica ripped the book out of Angelo's hand and began leafing through it.
"Hm, well, there are raunchy pictures of Dodgy Dave in here," said Jessica. Yangus leaned over and inspected the book along with her, his eyes widening.
"I thought better of you, Angelo," said Yangus sadly. Jessica threw her head back and laughed. Deoz looked on confused and disappointed as if he wanted Marcello to keep singing.
"So you wanna talk, Angelo? About what you've done with members of the Templars?" said Marcello serenely looking at Angelo with big cutesy eyes.
Angelo had to come up with something to get Marcello out of the room. He reached a conclusion. "Jessica," said Angelo taking his turn to smile, "Marcello called Alistair gay."
Jessica suddenly burst into waves of flames. She stared at Marcello with intent to kill. But Marcello defended himself. "Nope," he said, "but Angelo did steal a pair of Alistair's boxer shorts."
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" screamed Angelo as Jessica's head did a complete exorcist twist and focused on Angelo. She took out her whip and within seconds nothing more was left of Angelo than a pile of....
"Is that.... jello?" asked Yangus.
"Angelo is made out of jello?" said the bewildered Deoz.
"I nicknamed him Anjello once," admitted Marcello as he happily skipped out of the room and began his new song.
"We're sitting on Ventrilo playing some DotA!"
...................................
This fanfic is dedicated to all of Marcello's fans for they will surely kill me for this fanfic if they have any respect for Marcello.