A/N: So this is my first Divergent fic. I was rereading the series and felt compelled to write something. It is slightly AU. Tobias is included but Tris isn't and there is no Bureau. I hate to give things away, but it's more of a warning. If this doesn't sound like the kind of fic you'd like then don't read, but I would love it if you at least gave it a chance. *Rewrote this chapter some and working on chapter 2 and so on- 9/20/17*
Chapter One
Sixteen year olds line the long tables in my school's cafeteria. Today we take the aptitude test. The test that will tell me which faction I belong to: the selfless Abnegation, the peaceful Amity, the honest Candor, the brave Dauntless, or the intelligent EruditeI don't think it really tells us that we belong anywhere. Really, the aptitude test emencourages/em us to pick whichever our result is. Choosing that faction increases our chances at surviving initiation, helping to reduce the factionless population. I shiver at the thought of being factionless. It's supposedly a faith worse than death. I also shiver at the thought of Abnegation being my result. It's my birth faction and most likely the one I have a high aptitude for.
It's also the most boring.
Abnegation values selflessness above anything else. I value selflessness too, but maybe not to the same extent. I don't know. I'm good at fitting in there, good at assessing a situation and deciding who needs help, knowing when to give up my food or a bus seat. Initiation would be easy.
"Are you feeling alright, Elizabeth?" A fellow faction member, Ramond, asks me. Whether it's out of obligation or genuine concern, I'm not sure. His eyebrows lift up, scrunched in confusion. His green eyes sparkle with question.
"I'd prefer to be left alone," I reply as politely as possible. Ramond nods and turns away, not pressing the issue even an inch further. Doing so might make me feel uncomfortable, something that Abnegation frowns upon. For once I am thankful of the strict and stifling rules in my faction. I rest my head on my forearms and listen to the chatter filling the lunchroom. The few Abnegations that speak do so in hushed voices, a stark contrast against the feminine Amity giggles and raucous shouts of Dauntless.
I like the Dauntless.
They may be loud and reckless, preforming dangerous stunts and making mischief in class. But they are so free, so adventurous. I long for that freedom, that adventure. Though I doubt I could ever pass their initiation.
Each student is called in alphabetical order. My last name is Thompson, putting me near the bottom of the list. I let my thoughts wander while my head is down. The other conversations become background noise to the voice in my head. Soon enough, I feel myself drifting into sleep. I was too nervous to sleep well last night. Tossing, turning, laying awake. I tried to reassure myself that there was nothing to be nervous about, but of course that never works. Names are spoken every few minutes. I don't really hear any of them.
Finally, as the remaining students dwindle lower, my name is called over the speakers by a woman.
"Elizabeth Thompson."
I stand and look at Ramond, who is still waiting for his test. My palms are suddenly covered in sweat, so I wipe them on the hem of my shirt while walking toward the door. There is a Dauntless woman waiting outside one of the testing rooms, characterized by her black clothing and bright blue streaked hair. Abnegation volunteers usually run the tests unless it's for an Abnegation born.
"Hey," she greets me as I enter the room behind her, "my name's Tessa."
"Hello," I respond quietly.
The room contains a reclined chair that reminds me of a doctor or dentist office. Beside it is a computer and some machine. The ceiling is comprised of one huge light that glows a pale yellow. My eyes squint around, trying not to linger too long on the walls made of mirrors. Looking at one's reflection too long is a byproduct of vanity. Tessa motions me to sit in the chair. Now with my eyes focused on the ceiling, I find myself relieved but also disappointed. Tessa begins pressing electrodes to different areas of my body: over my heart, my temples, an arm, and a leg. A question bubbling in my throat is stifled as I remember my faction values. Curiosity isn't one of them.
I notice that Tessa also has two electrodes pressed to her temples as she hands me a vial of blue liquid.
"Drink this," she says.
"What is it?" I ask before my morals can stop me.
"Just trust me."/p
I have no reason to trust her, but I drink the liquid quickly, not allowing time to reconsider. It's a bitter taste, but short lived.
My eyes close, and everything goes black.
I'm in the school cafeteria. The tables are void of other students. Is my test over?
On the table in front of me appears two baskets, one containing a large knife and the other containing a loaf of bread.
"Choose."
I whirl around to find that I am alone. The voice comes from the air, distinctly feminine and slightly familiar. I'm...I'm in my aptitude test.
"Why?"
"Choose."
My eyes switch from bread to knife and then back to bread. I pick up the knife out of curiosity. It's curved and obviously meant for something other than cooking. Strange. It's physical weight contrasts with the mental burden it provides. Abnegation forbids weapons of any sort.
Both baskets have disappeared. Groans echo back from the walls. A boy is walking toward me, clutching his stomach. And by the look of his ratty clothes and disheveled appearance, factionless. It's a teenager, probably no older than me. He continue closer, saying something about food. With only feet separating us, his speech becomes clear.
"Do you...do you have any food?" He sounds desperate.
As an Abnegation, I've aided factionless countless times, providing clothing and spare food. My first thought in this instant is that I should have chosen the bread rather than the knife.
"No, I'm sorry I don't have any food," I say apologetically. Then I feel foolish. This person isn't real at all.
"Give. Me. Food." He suddenly growls while lunging at me. I'm pushed back into the wall; the boy, real or not, is strong. I'm pinned with no way of escaping. I am too weak. The knife is much heavier as I remember it is still tightly held in my hand. It's my way out. I move my hand up until the blade is pressed against my attacker's throat.
But he isn't there.
Instead of the cafeteria, I'm in the middle of a street surrounded by astonished bystanders. A man looks at me with accusing eyes. He scares me for no apparent reason. I step back.
"Did you kill this man?" He demands loudly. It's the first time I notice a body laying on the pavement with blood pooling around the head. In my hand, a gun appears. It feels foreign and cold. Deadly. The thought occurs to me that I did kill the man, though I don't know why or when or where that came from. If I confess, I'm in mounds of trouble for the crime.
"Did you kill this man!"
My breath hitches. Yes, I think. I killed him.
"No." It's easy to lie.
I wake up laying in the chair.
My hands are shaking as I sit up with electrodes still attached. Real.
Tessa chews her lip ring as she slowly removes the electrodes from my body. Her face does nothing to mask the blatant confusion. I wait patiently, anxious about my result. Please don't say Abnegation. Tessa glances around before sighing.
"Your result was Dauntless," her words are like a sip of cold water. How could I, a selfless acting member of Abnegation, get Dauntless as my aptitude test result? I mean, it's a relief. Anything other than Abnegation is a relief. But Dauntless? My mind tunes back in as Tessa begins to fill me in on the details of my test.
"Not choosing the bread rules out Abnegation, choosing the knife rules out Amity and moves toward Dauntless. You lied about killing the man, so Candor was out. Erudite was never really an option after the first situation."
I blink at her words. Does that mean I'm not smart enough for Erudite? No, it doesn't matter whether I am or not because that's not my result. How can I be Dauntless? Yes, it's something I admired from afar and dreamed of. But realistically, it never occurred to me that I would be anything other than a meek and selfless Abnegation girl that marries an equally meek and selfless boy to have, you guessed it, meek and selfless children. It dawns on me though that my actions have never stemmed from wanting to serve others. Instead, they were ingrained in my mind with every scolding, every lecture I received after completing a selfish action.
"I can tell this is a shock to you," Tessa's gravelly voice worms back into my head. "Looking at how you responded to the simulation, I think you could fit in well in your current faction. You aren't required to choose your result. It's only a suggestion.
My mind whirls.
"Look, I'm not supposed to tell you what to choose, so I won't. That's your decision. Only you can make it. But only you can live with it."
I nod and stand to walk out.
"By the way," Tessa offers cheerfully, "the Dauntless have chocolate cake."