This is not meant to be offensive in any way. Please don't hurt me. I like The Twilight Saga (and have read them all at least twice) but this had to be done. This story is dedicated to Chicken Nuggets and teddy bears all over the world. I don't own Twilight. If I did... let's just say Robert Pattison would not play Edward. Bye. K
Read all of this like Dora the Explorer.
The short summary of Twilight...
Girl meets vampire. They fall in love. YAY! Oh no! Bad vampire chasing girl. Not good. (pause) Good vampire kills evil vampire and saves girl. YAY!
The short summary of New Moon...
Oh no! Vampire breaks up with girl. Not good. Girl depressed. Girl has friend! YAY! Oh no! Friend not talking to girl. Not good. Friend is werewolf. Girl and friend talking again. YAY! Girl-goes-cliff-diving-because-she-is-still-depressed-about-vampire. She almost dies. Not good. She is saved. YAY! Oh no! Vampire thought girl is dead and now is suicidal. Not good. Girl vampire helps girl save boy vampire from evil vampires. Girl and vampire still in love. YAY!
The short summary of Eclipse...
Vampire and werewolf fight over girl. Not good. Oh no! Another evil vampire is chasing girl. Not good. Werewolf and vampire team up to save girl. YAY! Girl and vampire get engaged. YAY! Oh no! Girl is slightly in love with the werewolf. Not good. Oh well, she gets over it. Werewolves and vampires beat evil vampires. YAY!
The impossible-to-be-short-summary of Breaking Dawn...
Vampire and girl get married. YAY! Werewolf gets mad. Not good. Vampire and girl go on honey moon. GIRL IS PREGNANT! Not good-ish. Switch to werewolf perspective. GIRL IS PREGNANT! Not good. Werewolf mad and sad at THE SAME TIME! Baby born. Werewolf imprints (falls in love) on the baby. YAY! Girl turns into vampire. YAY! Switch perspective to girl again. Girl is vampire! YAY! Werewolf imprinted on baby. Girl maaaaaaad. Girl gets over it. Oh no! Evil vampires chasing girl and baby. AGAIN! Team up with awesome vampires. Girl has magical shield powers. YAY! Fight evil vampires with words. Win. YAY!
And so ends the Twilight Saga. AWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Please don't hurt me!