Facing My Fear
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OCs; Phillip Smith, Mary Sharpe, and Professor Goodweather.
A/N: This is just a fanfiction that came from me wondering what happens if your afraid of Boggarts. All Credit for the idea to actually write a story (and for who) goes to my dear father. Read and Review, dear peoples, because it would be silly to only read the A/N but not the story! Enjoy!
My dad always told me boggarts were terrifying. He said seeing your fear before you, revealing it to the world, is worse than having the fear at all. He says that it's paralyzing to see such a thing. I've never met a boggart before, but I believe him. They sound absolutely horrid.
I'm about to find out.
Professor Goodweather is teaching us about boggarts today. He says it's a useful skill to have, and that he's needed it many times. I know Grandmum has, as well as Uncle Harry. There's a spell you say, Riddikulus, while imagining something funny happening to it.
Here's the snag.
I don't know what my fear looks like. No one's ever seen it. So, how can I picture something bad happening to it? I can't. I'm going to look stupid, and fail Defense, because I can't repel a bloody boggart! I'll never pass O.W.L.S and then I can't move to N.E.W.T.S and then my career will be in ruins! I'll disgrace my family. No one will ever love me...
I need to calm down.
We file into class and I begin to hyperventilate. The desks have been cleared away and right were Mary Sharpe would have sat, was an old wood desk. It shook violently, and watching, I did the same. I hope I don't have to face it.
Time to find out.
Professor Goodweather tells us to form a line, and the class happily follows his instructions. He gives us directions one more time on how to repel a boggart, but I don't pay attention. I'm looking at the three people in front of me. I'm at the front of the line. How did I get so far up? Why didn't I fake being ill?
Lucy goes first.
I watch in terror as Lucy calmly steps forward, toward the desk. Goodweather opens the bottom right drawer, and out crawls a large centipede. I almost laugh, until I see my cousin shake in fear. I have never seen her look so terrified.
She says the spell.
The many legged worm suddenly loses it's legs, and turns a bright pink. Lucy would choose pink. The class laughs and high-fives Lucy. I don't laugh. I saw her face as she saw her greatest fear. I had watched her dazedly raise her wand, still focused on the image before her. I watched her walk with an expressionless face to the back of the class when she thought no one was looking.
Phillip goes next.
Phillip Smith walks forward with a confidence I didn't expect. Maybe he has a secret. Maybe he doesn't fear anything. Maybe he is just stupid. Either way, he faces the helpless pink worm, and watches it transform into a black mist. His confident smirk melts away, leaving only a frown of pure horror. He trys to close his eyes, but Goodweather whispers something too him, and Phillip nods slowly. He breathes in shakily.
He says the spell.
The darkness suddenly melts away, hissing something about melting. Several students burst into fits of laughter. I'm still watching his face. He looks ill, like he's seen the Bloody Baron snogging the Grey Lady. I shake my head.
Dominique goes third.
Dom turns her head back and gives me a halfhearted grin. She understands that this wouldn't be fun. She sucks in a breath and turns to the puddle on the floor with a grimace. It spreads across the floor, until it resembles a body, and suddenly I see a dead Fleur. Tears streak Dominique's face as she lifts her wand with a shaking hand. It turns into a dead Bill. Dead Victoire. Dead Louis. Dead Fleur again.
She stutters the spell.
Her dead family suddenly jumps up, saying how it was a joke. Dom smiles shakily and stumbles to the back of the line. I stare at the line in front of me. There is no line. It's just me.
It's my turn.
I step forward and gulp. The laughing Weasley's shift, morphing together into a blob. The boggart stays like that for a moment before giving a mighty shake. I look down to see a small creature. It has waxy, almost translucent skin, and beady red eyes. It's nose is long and contorted, and when it opens it's mouth, a thin tongue emerges.
Everything disappears.
I look at the monster, which I can only assume is a boggart, in shock and fear. I can hear the gasps and murmurs around me, but I don't think to care. I just stare at the beast, captivated and lost. It grins a toothless grin, and I whimper.
It had me.
I knew I would stay like this forever. I can't move. I forget how. I forget everything except that little, grotesque being. I hear a thump behind me, and the boggart's grin wavers. I feel my arm raise, and a small part of me wonders if I'm raising it, or if someone else is. I remember my wand. My defense. My hope. Slowing raising it, I manage to gasp out a word.
I say the spell.
The fauna shrieks in frustration, before being cut off by it's own combustion. I watch in relief as the boggart explodes into delicate snowflakes, blanketing the classroom in powder. The class cheers happily, telling me how awesome that was.
I ignore them.
I go to the Hospital Wing for the rest of the class. Dom and Lucy come with me, telling me how scary it looked from their viewpoint. The tell me how they "thought you were gone for a minute, Roxy" and how they had never seen such an animal before. Nobody had. It isn't until we're on our way to our next class that they leave me alone.
I breathe in deeply.
I had seen a boggart. I had reason to be afraid. I'm not going to fail. Boggarts are scary. I am alive. I am never going to face a boggart again. I am never going to look that little creature in the eye again. Ever. I faced my fear once, and once is one too many times. But in hindsight, I'm almost glad I did, because now I don't have to wonder, but I'm also glad it's over, because I'm not brave, and I'll never erase those images.