"Fuck, Cas..." Dean barely managed to get out between stifled moans and the way Cas was grinding against him sent shiver's of arousal through his entire body. Cas responded by biting down just a bit harder on the spot that he knew sent Dean insane. Dean arched his back, trying to get more contact. Their entire bodies touching, pressed hard against each other, but it just wasn't enough. Cas practically hummed as he pushed himself harder against the hunter, enjoying every moment.
This is what they did. Dean was a hunter, Cas an angel of the Lord. Neither of them even liked the idea of a 'relationship'. It had too many rules, too much stress and with the lives they had, constantly saving the world and worrying about someone dying, stress over making sure that they could wine and dine each other wasn't on the menu.
In front of Sam, Bobby, anyone, they were their normal selves. Completely ignoring that Dean knew everything that made the angel scream out in ecstasy. While Cas new about the small birth mark above Dean's knee despite that the man never wore anything but jeans. They ignored it. The relationship wasn't quite 'friend's with benefits' it was more of a release.Dean had tried using girls, but it was becoming more and more difficult to please a different woman every time. He'd been finding it more stressful then not even having sex. Once or twice he'd accidentally have yelled out the wrong name during his orgasm. He'd gotten a few well deserved hits to the face for that.
That was when it started to stop. He slowly stopped sleeping with the many women he picked up at bars. Which in turn started making him more angry and at edge all the time. A couple weeks had gone by without having sex and it was beginning to grind on his sanity. He was about go out and try and find a woman anyway, when Cas had shown up out of nowhere. Dean was so enraged that he began to take his sexual frustrations out on Cas. He pushed him against a wall, not even waiting for the angel to say why he had stopped by. He didn't care.
Dean chuckled to himself, remembering the first time he'd slept with the angel. Even though it started fiercely it had been hesitant and awkward. Dean had never slept with a man, and Cas had never slept with anyone. Cas had been quite the fast learner, spending the entire time, finding out exactly which spots on Dean's body that if caressed, if licked, made Dean unable to hold back a noise. Dean attempted the same, and he found, that he enjoyed the way the man's body worked. He wished he had tempted going gay when he was younger.
He loved women bodies, but a man's was just more to him. While the male body lacked the breasts, it made up for it in other places, it was so much more enjoyable to lick, to suck, to grind. Oh was grinding more fun. Against a women was decent, but when penis rubbed against penis, even through layers of fabric it was like electricity shooting through in the most enjoyable way.
After the first time, Castiel hadn't come back for several weeks. Sam wondered why the angel was staying away, since the war in heaven had died down for the time being. Dean had shrugged him off and ignored the question even though whenever anyone mentioned Cas all he could imagine was the way the angel's face looked when he was thrust into. The way his hands had been so gentle, when he knew just how strong the angel was.
When the angel did finally show up again, it was in a dirty motel room, that frankly didn't smell pleasant. Dean and Cas were alone. Again. The thought scared him and he decided that looking anywhere besides the angel's face was the best turn of action. He was interrupted when Cas shot him a glare and spoke up.
"Dean, we need to...talk, about what happened." Dean didn't want to. He didn't love the man, he had none of those girly emotions, he wasn't even sure if her wanted to experience sex with the angel again. While it had felt fantastic, it left awkward moments like these. When Dean didn't say anything, Cas continued. "You look on it with mixed emotions." Cas stated bluntly. Cas had the ability to read Dean's mind, even without using his angel abilities.
"Damn right!" Dean finally burst out "Look Cas, you're great in bed, but I'm not looking for anything here. I was stressed and I needed to let it out." Cas looked at him, still a small scowl on his face.
"I was not expecting anything out of it either." Dean shot him a look that asked, 'Then why the fuck are you here'. Cas just continued. "I came to explain that while it was very 'pleasurable', it is not the time to be in a 'relationship' as you humans call it. We should keep things professional. Not to say that I would not enjoy fornicating again."
Dean shot him a questioning look, fidgeting with the gun as he was sitting down on the motel bed, suddenly hyper away of every movement the angel made. He noticed that the angel was moving very slowly closer to him. He looked back up to Cas' face. "You saying that you want to have sex again?"
Cas nodded, his slow pace toward the Winchester had sped up slightly, and he was now only several inches away from the man, looking down into his eyes. "It was a great release of stress, and as I stated before, it was quite pleasurable."
Dean's eyes widened, and he looked up at the angel unsure. The idea didn't sound too bad. "Deal," Dean stated as he laid back on the bed, pulling the angel down with him into a very demanding kiss. Dean liked the idea of doing this. He enjoyed the way Cas' tongue licked Dean's bottom lip when he wanted entrance into Dean's mouth, he liked the way Cas' aroused penis felt in his hands, he liked the way he could almost feel the angel's heart beat, pumping so hard as he thrust into him.
He could get used to this.
It wasn't till the third or fourth time, that Dean suddenly took into consideration, that this wasn't Cas' physical body. He was raping Jimmy Novak.
Cas and Dean had just finished, relaxing against the bed before the inevitable moment of going back to reality. Dean figured now the best time to mention anything. "Does... does Jimmy feel anything?" Dean asked bluntly, though he was slightly afraid to know the answer.
"No," Cas responded, finding himself smile, and almost chuckle at Dean asking such a thing. "When we are about to start, I almost put his soul to rest." Cas could feel slight confusion radiate through the hunter so he just continued to explain. "I almost make his soul fall asleep, it's temporary, but I use it, so that he isn't under the constant stress of being awake, and of having no control. Also so he doesn't see me kill anyone. When I stop by, I put him to rest before anything happens."
"Does he get angry at you for using his body this way?" Dean asked, silently hoping that the answer is no. Even if Jimmy doesn't experience what Cas does, it must be unpleasant being silenced like that. Cas shook his head and smiled softly, bringing himself to sit against the headboard.
"He's completely unaware. Trust me, I would not have let anything happen, if it were to upset Jimmy in anyway."
Relief hit Dean and he relaxed at having knowing that Jimmy wasn't aware of their activities. Dean looked down at his wrist, checking the time, judging how long it would before Sam was back. He said he'd be gone till 10, and his watch read 8:15, plenty of time for another round and Dean quickly let his hands go elsewhere, as he closed the distance between him and the angel.
Week by week they continued, hot and messy sex. Dean couldn't lie, it was what he looked forward to. Cas would appear when Dean was alone, making sure they would have time to 'fornicate' as Cas enjoyed putting it. Since the first time, Dean was much more pleasurable to be around. He wasn't changed at all, just a lot less grumpy.
Sam had figured out quickly what was going on, for one the fact that while the two weren't exactly Mr. Sunshine, they were a lot less aggravated, Cas especially. He seemed more at ease, like the stick had been pulled out of his ass. A slight moment made him realize, it was what was going intohis ass, that made the angel more delightful, and Sam grimaced at the mental image that followed. It had also been easy to see, that when Sam and Bobby were around the pair, they took eye fucking to a whole new level. Sam wouldn't be surprised if either got aroused just lookingat the other, it was so disturbing.
So when Dean would pretend to find a woman, he knew Dean was just getting away so Cas and him could release some stress. He'd give the two a wide berth, and would pretty much not go to Dean until it was necessary. The last thing he wanted was to interrupt.
It had been going on for months now, and Dean slowly became less enjoying it, more craving it, needingit, but he told himself, it was just him being horny, nothing else. A couple weeks went by, and Cas hadn't shown up yet. Normally, the angel would meet Dean in his dreams, giving him a day and time, or he would just show up whenever Dean had a couple solid hours to himself, but neither had occurred in the past two weeks, and Dean was beginning to get antsy without sex.
Dean almost prayed, hoping that Cas could at least show up with some form of explanation, but Dean didn't want to feel desperate. It was hard enough trying to keep all emotion out of everything. He felt like a chick, but he was beginning to enjoy the sex for more then just pleasure. He liked the comfort, the way the angel made him feel, without the physical contact.
It was a slow thing to happen, and it was far from love, but it was the closest to it when it came to someone outside his family. It bothered him, and Dean thought momentarily, maybe it was a good thing Cas hadn't showed up yet.
At that exact moment, the Angel in thought, showed up in front of Dean. Sam was less then five feet away, when all of a sudden he could feel a touch to the top of his head, and heard the soft sound of wings fluttering. Sam turned back to what he was doing, sighing with a half smirk on his lips.
Dean felt himself pushed against the wall, felt himself being kissed and bit and everything was moving so fast he could barely concentrate. Cas was biting and grinding, in a way that made him go insane, he could barely have coherent thought. "Fuck, Cas..."
Cas bit harder, sending a warmth to his groin, and he knew that if he didn't stop him now, he'd be too lost to say anything. His body arched up against Cas' involuntarily. Part of him wasn't even in control anymore. God he wanted this, he'd been craving it for weekd. But his head, and his heart were finally getting a say before his libido.
"Cas, stop," The angel, startled, stopped his biting and grinding, but didn't pull away. He stayed perfectly still, wondering what the hunter had to say.
Finally, when Dean got a hand between them, he managed to create a distance. He felt his arousal through his trousers, and wished there was a way that he could get it to stop distracting him.
"Is there something wrong Dean?" Cas asked, his own arousal pulsing beneath his jeans. Normally when Cas was forceful, Dean seemed to appreciate it. For some reason the hunter seemed apprehensive, even though the angel could see lust in Dean's eyes.
Dean sighed, trying hard not to just say 'fuck it' and go back to what he was doing, but he knew if he didn't say anything now, he never would. "Lately, through doing this, it's changed..." Cas sighed as well at that point. He knew exactly what the man was talking about.
Lately the angel had been imagining more romance, and less about making the man moan out in pleasure. While he enjoyed the latter, it was less on his mind. "I've felt the same way, Dean."
"Damn-it Cas! Why didn't you say anything?" Dean shouted angrily, he saw the angel sit on the edge of the bed, looking at the floor, as if unable to look at Dean's anger.
"I was trying to keep what we had the same."
"That's just it, angel boy, it's not the same! I keep thinking about falling asleep with you in my arms, about the way your eyes light up when you laugh, how great that smile of yours is." Dean groaned in frustration. He felt like a god damn woman, and now it was him who turned his face from the angel.
Cas looked up at Dean, he enjoyed the fact that Dean had said those things. It seemed to trouble the hunter, but it also created this warmth in his chest that felt, good. It was far from the normal things of arousal, and Cas sat for a moment trying to process everything. After several more moments, he concluded to asking a question. "Is this what love feels like?" Cas had felt love before, but it was love for his father, his brothers and sisters. He'd never felt love like this, and it felt somewhat wrong, but yet, it still made him smile.
Dean's eyes shot back to the angel. He didn't know how to respond. He kept telling himself that it wasn't love, but the small smirk on Cas made his heart beat faster, his palms feel sweaty, and he hated all of it. But at the same time, it felt so incredible. It was strange, the man had never been inlove before, and he just spent minutes thinking, and staring at Cas. "No.." he uttered quietly, "Yes? I don't fucking know."
It was almost humorous, how two people, one a hunter, one an angel, had somehow managed to fall in love with each other when neither of them really knew the emotion. "As stressful as it is, I quite like it." Cas finally stated, unsure as to how Dean would react. Cas looked down at his hands, not even realizing that they had started shaking slightly; anxiousness, he believed was the emotion tied to his unsteady movements."What do we do, Dean?" The question so innocent from Cas' lips. The angel never knew this kind of emotion, and while yes, emotions were much more difficult to understand, and feel, this one was by far the most confusing, and painful. Confusing because, despite all the frustration and pain it caused, his whole body felt warm, he felt...at peace.
Dean scratched the back of his head instinctively, more out of habit then an actual itch, and he paced the room, unable to stand still. This would normally be the point where he'd yell, or throw something, and then get himself hammered at a local bar. But he couldn't do that. Not with Cas. Not with the way the almost innocent angel was looking at him, like he had all the answers; when he had none. There were two options here, treat what they had as a normal love relationship, or end it now, and try and pretend that the past few months never happened.
But they had. Dean knew that if they broke this off, every time he saw the angel he'd be miserable. In pain, every time someone mentioned Cas' name. But at the same time, if they did continue on, if they let themselves fall, what would happened if one of them died. It wasn't a farfetched idea, considering there was still a world to be saved, still so many creatures and demons to go up against. Dean wondered if he'd be able to keep going. When his mother died, he lived for Sammy, when his father died, he got stuck on revenge, when Sammy died, he'd sold his soul. There wasn't really much he'd be able to do, if Castiel died.
Dean paced for what felt like hours and Cas watched every movement; every emotion on the hunter's face. It was hard to read him, all of the conflicting thoughts in the man's head confusing the angel even more. He knew some of what the hunter was thinking, only because he shared similar thoughts. The pair had fought other angels, had killed many creatures, hunted small prey to very powerful demons. They'd stopped the fucking apocalypse, with a little help. Yet love threw them into such confusion, to anyone outside of the pair, it was rather hilarious.
Cas finally stood, standing directly in front of the man, stopping his current pacing. Dean just stared into those eyes, thosebeautifuleyes, waiting for whatever it was Cas had to say. The angel then brought his hands up slowly, cupping Dean's face, who involuntarily leaned into the touch and the angel brought his face close to Dean's for a kind gentle kiss, something completely foreign to them both. "If this is what love feels like, I am willing to continue. The consequences could be high, and it might end up more tragic, but this," Cas stated as he grazed a finger against Dean's jaw, "Is well worth it."
Dean then took his turn to slowly lean in for a kiss, bringing his arms to wrap around the angel. "Are you sure?" Dean asked, this was a new experience for him entirely, and he knew, that it could be the most stupid and selfish thing he's ever done, but he doesn't want to let go of Cas. He wants Cas to be his.
As if Cas read his mind, he leaned his forehead to touch Dean's and whispered, "I will always be yours, Dean. I have always been yours. It just took some time, for you to finally take me." Cas smiled, his face felt flushed and hot, he was more then likely blushing, but he didn't care. Dean was here, holding onto him, accepting him into his first experience of love.
Dean pulled the angel tighter, bringing them into a very close embrace, but loving all the same. They kissed, and licked, and sucked, and every good thing about the deal they had made, except now it wasn't just a release, it was finally an emotion. The angel had fallen for the man, and the man had caught him.