A/N: I hope you guys find this as funny as my brother and I did. If not then your funny bone isn't as sensitive as mine...I own nothing
Darkness. That's what he remembered seeing before giving in to the oblivion that was sleep. Dead pool stretched his back and could feel a heavy weight on his legs. He opened his eyes and tried to focus on the figure above him. Once his eyes cleared he realized that the Wolverine stared back down at him like that girl that ends up stalking you after you break up with her. He went to say something but it came out muffled by a sticky material that he realized was duck-tape. He looked up and seen that his hands were bound by…what the hell is that….Mutant issued handcuffs? He thought as he tried to free his hands, but realized that it was impossible. "Mmmhhh!" He wanted to know what was going on and how he ended up underneath Logan.
"Hey Waaaaaaaaaaaaade!" Logan said in a sing-song voice. If Wade thought he looked like a crazy ex, then he most certainly sounded like a crazy ex. "You took 15 minutes to get back…Google maps say it only takes 12." Logan's eyes became dark and his voice got deeper, "Who is she?"
Wade looked up at him like he grew eight extra heads. He couldn't believe that Logan of all people was….jealous? And obsessive? What the fuck? He couldn't comprehend what had gotten into his old friend. He and Logan had met up a few weeks ago and had gone to a bar to catch up. After about the 12th or 13th shot Logan had asked him if he wanted to have sex. Wade wasn't gay, but he did enjoy having sex with men from time to time. So as a result he had agreed and they had ended up having more than one coupling…BIG MISTAKE! Right after they woke up and went their separate ways Logan had begun stalking him. At first Wade thought it was a coincidence that he and Logan ended up at the same place for the first two towns. Then after the third town he realized it was kinda creepy. Once he realized that Logan was following him he tried to shake him and two cities ago he thought he had…..He was wrong.
"Wade! Are you going to answer me or not?" Logan asked with a worried look. "Are you sleeping with other people?" Wade gave him a look as if he was stupid…How was he supposed to answer with duck-tape on his mouth? Logan suddenly realized that he couldn't talk and quickly ripped the tape off of his lips pulling some skin along with it.
"Ouch!" Logan gave him an apologetic look. "Logan… What the hell are you doing? Have you completely lost your mind? Untie me now!"
From the look on the other mutants face it didn't seem like that was the answer he was looking for because his claws slowly came out from his hands and then then stabbed him making Wade howl in pain. "I hope she was worth it." Then everything went black….
Wade jumped up in his bed and looked around in freight. It was just a dream… He thought as he laid back down and placed a hand over his heart, trying to steady it. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before smelling an odd, yet familiar, scent. Then he threw his eyes opened and quickly looked to his right and sitting in the chair was Logan staring at him like he did in his dream. "Hey Waaaaaaaaade!" The only sound that came out from his lips was a girlish scream.
THE END