Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. This is a Destiel oneshot (with smut) set after the events of Regarding Dean. OMC how amazing was Jensen? I just wanted to hug Dean so hard. Especially in the bathroom when he's looking in the mirror. That episode was funny and tragic all at the same time. XD. Anyway, Dean realizes that he needs to tell Cas how he feels. Read on!

Regarding Destiel

By Julia

Dean knew that he didn't remember what had happened when the spell had been on him, but he knew that he had forgotten Cas. Dean couldn't believe that he'd forgotten Cas. Cas was the most important person in his life with the exception of Sam. Dean waited until Sam had gone to bed when they got back to the bunker, and he pulled out his phone. He didn't have to pull up Cas' name, he knew his number by heart. He dialed, and waited, very impatiently. When he heard Cas' voice in his ear, saying hello, Dean felt the rush of love in his heart.

"Cas, it's so good to hear your voice." Dean said, his eyes closing, as he realized how close he'd come to losing it all. Dean brushed his hand over his chin. "I'll explain when I see you. Come home, would you?" He knew that Cas knew what he meant. Dean couldn't imagine how far they'd come. Dean knew that they had to talk. There was so much he had to tell him. Dean had to tell him that he was in love with him. Before it was too late. "There's… there's something that I need to tell you."

That sounded ominous. Cas was on alert instantly. "Is everything okay?" He asked. "Are you okay?" Cas asked, he knew that he couldn't lose Dean. Cas had been alive for a very long time, and he felt like a part of him had been waiting for Dean. Without knowing that he had been. Cas knew that he was in love with Dean. He'd known for a long time, and he also knew that Dean felt the same way. He'd just been waiting for Dean to realize it.

"Are you in trouble?" Cas asked. He could be there in seconds, and if Dean was in trouble, he would. Cas loved how much the bunker felt like home. Home was wherever Dean was. Cas was already teleporting, and he was in front of Dean, making the other man jump.

Dean hung up as soon as Cas was in front of him. He was in the library, and he immediately threw his arms around Cas, hugging him as tightly as he could. Dean hugged him like he'd never hug Cas again. "I'm so glad to see you." Dean said, unable to keep his voice from shaking. He had almost lost him forever. Almost lost that smell that was inherently Cas. It was a woodsy smell, like fresh rain in the woods. He had had dreams about that smell. He actually buried his head in Cas' neck, to smell it better.

"I missed you so fucking much." Dean said, lifting his head and stepping back to look Cas in his beautiful blue eyes. Cas was looking at him with a confused expression. Dean leaned out and took Cas' hand, though, lacing his fingers through Cas' tightly. "Cas…. I have to tell you something." Dean said, they'd never held hands before, but it felt like the most natural thing Dean had ever done. He stroked the back of Cas' hand with his thumb, and Cas was just looking at him patiently, waiting for Dean to keep talking.

The whole story came out in a rush, how he'd been spelled and had forgotten everything as it had gotten worse, and that when he'd gotten his memories back, he'd realized how much he hated that he'd almost lost Cas for good. Dean had died before, but he knew that this time he wouldn't have come back. They still didn't know what was going to happen, Cas had killed Death. "I have to tell you this, Cas. It's… it's something I've known for a really long time. I don't know why I haven't told you till now. I guess I thought maybe my actions would speak for me." Dean wasn't usually a subtle person. But he supposed that maybe he'd been afraid that Cas wouldn't feel the same way he did. Cas was an angel. He was such a good person. Dean knew he wasn't.

"I'm in love with you, Cas. I want us to be together. I don't know how we're going to do it, but I know we can. Remember those hunters we met that were married? They find a way to make it work. We can too."

Of all the things he'd thought Dean would say, that was not it. Cas listened while he spoke, and Cas couldn't keep the smile from spreading across his face. "Oh Dean." Cas said, using their entwined hands to pull him close. Cas reached up and cupped Dean's jaw. "I love you too, Dean. I have loved you for a very long time. I was just waiting for you to realize what you felt and say it out loud." With those words, he leaned out, kissing Dean, it started out soft, but as Dean wrapped his arms around Cas' waist, it deepened. Cas let out a soft moan, glad that he'd never had sex before. He wanted his first to be Dean Winchester.

Dean pressed Cas up against one of the tables, kissing Cas hungrily, like he'd never kiss him again. His hands were reaching for Cas' tie, untying it as hurriedly as he could. His fingers moved clumsily as he unbuttoned the buttons on Cas' dress shirt. "Fuck, Cas." Dean managed to say, pushing Cas' trench coat and shirt off, his hands moving along Cas' chest. He let his arms wrap around Cas' neck, and he kissed him again. He sucked on Cas' tongue, and he could feel Cas' cock getting hard against his leg. "Mmm…. someone's a grower." Dean's voice was gruff with desire.

"I am sure I don't know what that means." Cas said, smirking and unbuttoning Dean's flannel shirt. Cas really didn't know what it meant, but he was definitely glad that Dean seemed pleased. That was a plus. Cas moved Dean's arms from his neck to get his shirt and tee shirt off, and as soon as Dean was shirtless, he wrapped his arms around Cas' neck again. His fingers played in the hair at the nape of Cas' neck, and Cas let out a soft moan against Dean's lips. He shivered as Dean's fingers moved slowly through his hair. He'd always wanted Dean's fingers to run through his hair.

Breaking the kiss, Dean's mouth moved to kiss Cas' neck. "It means you have a very good cock, Cas." Dean told him, as Cas' hands reached and unbuttoned Dean's jeans, and they fell to the floor, Dean stepping out of them and Cas' hand reached into Dean's underwear, his hand cupping Dean's dick. Dean's breath was sharp, and he pressed kisses over Cas' collarbone, he was wondering where to put the hickey. Dean didn't want to leave it where Sam could see, he just wasn't sure he wanted to explain to Sam about them just yet. Dean gasped as Cas' hand stroked his cock, his long fingers moving along the shaft. Dean was growing harder in Cas' hand. "Fuck, baby." The endearment slipped out of Dean's mouth, and he didn't even seem to notice it, but Cas did and his stomach fluttered with butterflies.

"Have you thought about whether you're a top or a bottom?" Cas asked, he didn't really care which, although he had to admit, he really wanted Dean inside him. He knew that Dean was a virgin as far as guys went, and that made him feel really good about it. They were both on equal footing. Cas let his other hand reach down the back of Dean's underwear, his fingers moving along his ass, letting a thumb slide along Dean's hole. He was rewarded with Dean moaning against his chest. Cas knew he couldn't put a finger inside him without some kind of lube.

Cas knew it was going to possibly kill the mood, but he pulled back. "Before we go any further, we need lube." Cas said, and was surprised when Dean reached down for his jeans and pulled out a tube of pineapple lube. Cas grinned. "Someone's prepared." Cas said, and grabbed for Dean again, tugging him close and kissing him with renewed fervor. Dean kissed back, he was too taken by surprise to do anything else. Cas didn't even think to ask why Dean had that on him, he didn't care. Cas broke the kiss, opening the lube and spreading some over two of his fingers. As he did that, Dean took off his underwear, and got the rest of Cas' clothes off in record time.

Cas tugged Dean close again, their cocks brushing together as he eased one of his fingers into Dean, who gasped and his fingers moved through Cas' hair. He shivered as his finger crooked inside Dean, and he was rewarded with a guttural moan leaving Dean. Cas loved that he was making Dean feel that way. Cas moved his finger out and added another, and he earned a small bite on his earlobe. Cas moved his fingers inside Dean, and he was so glad that Dean was liking it. Cas shivered as Dean's mouth moved over his chest, and then he gasped out loud as Dean started to suck. He knew Dean was marking him with a hickey. Cas' eyes brushed with tears. This was really happening. And Dean was really marking him with a hickey.

"Come on, Cas, I need you inside." Dean said, pausing his hickey work. He really wanted Cas to own his ass. He went back to sucking on Cas' chest, Cas' head fell back, and he could barely concentrate on what he was doing with his fingers. Dean pulled back, he knew he had to give Cas a chance to lube up. He reached for the lube, and spread some along Cas' long hard cock, watching Cas' eyes dilate, he was so turned on. Dean had to admit, that felt really good. Cas grabbed him and pushed him over the table, parting Dean's legs.

"Forceful, that's hot." Dean said, and then Cas was inside him. Dean gasped out loud, holding onto the table as Cas settled his hands on Dean's hips and set his at a steady rhythm. Dean let out a groan, and Cas had to admit, this felt really good. Cas was moving hard and fast, and Dean gasped and said, "FUCKIN' A, Cas, DAMN." Dean was enjoying himself, and Cas had to admit, that felt so amazing. This was the most spontaneous thing he'd ever done. Sam could hear them and walk in at any minute. Cas didn't want to stop though. He reached with his left hand and began to stroke Dean's long cock.

That caused Dean to let out another moan, and Cas leaned to whisper in Dean's ear. "Your ass is mine." He said, and he was rewarded with Dean shivering. He pressed kisses on Dean's neck, his hand moved down to cup Dean's balls. He stroked with his long fingers, and Dean was moaning Cas' name. Cas was filled with love in his stomach when he heard Dean say his full name like that. It wasn't often that he did, and he had to admit, it was really nice to hear it. "Say that again." Cas requested, his fingers moving along the shaft of Dean's impressive cock. He was rewarded with Dean whispering his name.

That was what made Cas come, his head falling onto Dean's shoulder, his hand still working Dean's length. He could tell that Dean was going to come soon, he could tell by the way his breath was coming faster. "Come on, Dean, come for me." Cas whispered in his ear, nibbling on Dean's earlobe. That was what got him to come, and Cas felt so good. He hadn't ever felt better in his life. "Oh Dean." Cas said, and Dean turned, and kissed him. Cas kissed back, it was an amazing kiss, it felt like the first one all over again.

Dean cupped Cas' jaw as Cas slid out of him. He tugged Cas closer, kissing him deeply. He nibbled on his bottom lip. Dean had always assumed that he would be the bottom in this situation, but he usually was. Even with girls. It hit him that he'd slept with his last girl. Dean didn't even care. He knew. This was it. Cas was the one. Dean couldn't imagine being with anyone else. When he'd gotten his memories back, the first thing he'd wanted to do was call Cas. And he'd known that he'd have to wait. Dean couldn't believe that he'd almost lost Cas forever.

His green eyes met Cas' blue ones, and Dean wondered what he was going to do if something happened to Cas. Dean reached out and ran his fingers through the hair on Cas' chest. He knew that Cas was the one for him. He didn't know when exactly it had happened that he'd realized that Cas was the one that he was in love with, but he knew that there was no one else that was ever going to love him like Castiel did. Dean shivered again as he ran his finger down Cas' chest, his strong, strong chest that didn't look like much underneath those dress shirts. Cas had a rocking body, and Dean had to admit that turned him on. Maybe more than he'd like to admit.

Cas shivered under Dean's touch. He brushed his fingers through some of Dean's hair, and was rewarded with Dean's eyes fluttering shut. Cas loved his hair. It was always so soft. Cas secretly had always thought that Dean was a metrosexual, at least, because he took very good care of his hair. Not a lot of straight guys did. And it wasn't just that. Dean used very expensive women's shampoo on his hair. Cas wasn't supposed to know that, because Dean hid it in a bottle of men's shampoo, but he did. He had smelled it once when Dean had been stepping in the shower.

"I'm sorry that you almost lost your memories." Cas said, he knew that Dean could have died. Cas knew that Dean knew that too, and just couldn't say it out loud. Cas didn't really blame him. It wasn't something that was easy to admit that it had happened to you. Cas knew that Dean was prepared to die, and that scared him too. Cas also knew that Dean didn't really see himself having any other kind of life but dying early and never having a normal life. Cas looked into Dean's eyes. "Hey. After we find Kelly and take care of the baby nephilim situation, we retire." Cas hadn't told Dean yet, but he was planning on giving up his grace so that he and Dean could have the rest of their lives together. Cas didn't want to live in a world that Dean wasn't in. Cas couldn't believe that he might have to live without Dean one day.

That caused Dean to look at him a bit surprisingly. "You want to retire?" Dean asked. He didn't know if Cas should want to do that. "You'd really go and live like a human?" Dean asked, looking into those blue eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes that Dean had ever seen. He honestly couldn't imagine that Cas would live as a human for him. That was almost too much to ask. It was such a big part of Cas' life and who he was. Dean looked at Cas, and he reached out and stroked Cas' jaw.

"Are you sure you want to do that? I can't…. I love you, Cas, and I can't ask you to give up what makes you you for me. I can't. I would never feel right about that." Dean didn't know what he was going to do if he let Cas do that. He wasn't going to lie, he was definitely into the idea of retiring with Cas. Having some kids…. It was really something he'd thought about. Dean had wanted that for awhile now and hadn't been able to say so out loud. "Because Cas, I'm not going to lie, I've thought of us retiring together." His face was beet red as he spoke, and he had to blush more, he wasn't someone who usually blushed and it made him so bashful that Cas was seeing him do that.

Cas brushed his lips over Dean's again. "I don't want to live without you, Dean. I'm giving up my grace. I would be living as an actual human with you." Cas didn't know how he could live with himself if he didn't take the chance to be with Dean. Cas wanted to be with Dean and only Dean. If he kept being an angel he'd have to see Dean get older and die eventually. Cas wanted to die with him. Cas shook his head as Dean started to protest. "No, Dean, I want to die with you. I can't live in a world without you any longer. I want to be with you and die when you die." Cas knew it wasn't going to be exactly that way but he wanted that more than anything he had ever wanted before.

"You don't have to ask me to give up my grace. I'm willing to do it for you without you having to ask." Cas told him, shaking his head when Dean started to protest. "Dean, please, don't fight me on this. Just accept it as something that I want. I'm not going to resent you later." Dean didn't seem convinced, but Cas refused to let him talk him out of it. Cas brushed his hand through Dean's hair again, his stomach filling with butterflies when he did so. Cas couldn't help it, Dean was so gorgeous. And his hair was one of the softest things that he'd ever touched.

As much as Dean didn't want Cas to do that, he also knew that he couldn't try and talk Cas out of it. He knew that Cas had made the decision and he couldn't tell him that he couldn't. Dean brushed his hand through Cas' hair. He liked to touch it as much as possible. Dean reached to pull his underwear back on, in case Sam came in. Dean couldn't believe that he was sitting with Cas, and they had agreed to spend the rest of their lives together. Dean couldn't believe it. Especially after he'd nearly forgotten Cas forever. It was amazing.

"Did we just agree to commit for life?" Dean asked, a bit in awe even if he knew that's what happened. He hadn't been able to help asking it out loud. It helped him realize that it had actually happened. Dean reached down and pulled on Cas' trench coat, grinning as it slid into place. Dean flashed Cas, unable to help from laughing. Cas gave him a surprised look, and it was one of the cutest faces he'd ever seen Cas make. Dean did it again, turning so his ass was displayed to Cas, his boxer briefs hugged his ass perfectly, and he couldn't help but notice that Cas noticed.

Cas brushed his hand through his hair as he looked at Dean, unable to keep from blushing as Dean flashed him again. Cas loved this side of Dean, it was one not a lot of people got to see. Cas was so glad that he was one of those people. He couldn't imagine not knowing Dean. Cas wouldn't want that to happen. He stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around Dean's waist. "I love you, Dean." He really did mean it, and he couldn't help but smile as Dean blushed at the words. "It's okay if we did just agree to be together forever, because I want to be with you forever." Cas told him, and he knew it should scare him that he meant that, but he wasn't a bit scared. He knew that Dean was all he was ever going to want for the rest of his life.

Two years later

Dean walked in the house, carrying a bag of dog food. He called out, "Cas, babe, I'm home!" He headed for the kitchen. Cas was cooking something, and Dean grinned. "Great, smells good, baby." He told him, putting the dog food away in the pantry. A huge black lab came into the kitchen, and a three year old blonde girl was riding him. Dean laughed and reached out for Abbi, she was their daughter, the adoption had just gone through. Dean picked her up, Abbi giggling and wrapping her arms around Dean's neck. Dean grinned and kissed her cheek. "Abbi Novak-Winchester, you know you're not supposed to ride Atticus."

He'd let Cas name the dog, and he couldn't even be angry that he'd named him Atticus. One of John's favorite books had been To Kill A Mockingbird. Dean knew how much it meant that Cas had chosen to honor John that way. Dean bounced her on his hip, and the light caught the gold of his wedding ring. They'd gone with traditional mens' wedding bands. Dean smiled as his gaze fell on it. He handed Abbi to Cas, and saw the sun hit his ring again. Dean ran his thumb over the back of it, and when he took Cas' hand, they heard the metal clink of the rings as their hands slid together. Dean felt butterflies in his stomach as the rings hit together.

Cas leaned and kissed him, giggling against his lips as Abbi made a face. Cas looked into those green eyes, which were the happiest he'd ever seen them. Cas didn't know how he could have gotten so lucky. They had saved the world from Lucifer's baby and it had been so magical after that. Cas had given up his Grace, they'd gotten married, and now they were back in Lawrence, Kansas, in the house where Dean had spent his early years. Cas had wondered if Dean had really wanted to do that, live there, but Dean had insisted that he wanted to raise their kids there.

It was really happening. Cas could hardly believe it. They'd really managed to retire. They had a daughter and a dog. Cas worked at Century 21, and Dean worked as a mechanic. They had a life. Every time Cas looked into those beautiful green eyes, he knew that it was going to be alright. They were going to grow old together and have a wonderful life. Cas looked into the blue eyes of their adorable brunette baby girl and Cas couldn't imagine being happier than he was right now. Cas looked to the mantel, where a picture of Sam sat.

They'd lost him in the battle, and Cas knew that Dean wasn't ever going to be completely over it, even if Sam and Dean had always been prepared for that outcome. Cas blew a kiss to the picture, wishing that Sam were still with them. But he also knew that Sam would be glad that Dean had a life, and that he was happy. Cas knew that that was what got Dean through, was that he was living what Sam had wanted for him. Cas sighed and then looked at Dean, he had taken Abbi from Cas and was twirling her around the room, and they were both smiling. Cas felt warmth all the way down to his toes.

This was all he was ever going to want.

Author's note: So, yeah, I don't know why it took me so long to get that done, I got writer's block, I suppose. I started it after 'Regarding Dean' and meant to get it done way more quickly since I knew it was going to be a oneshot. I hope ya'll like, and I ship Destiel more every time I see them even interact with each other.

Chuck, how married are they this year?! It's INSANE that there are people out there who don't ship Destiel. Just mind boggling. I hope ya'll feel compelled to leave a review!