A/N: There are spoilers if you haven't read 'The Sort of Funny Thing about Us'! This is, after all, the sequel (in a way). I highly suggest you read 'The Sort of Funny Thing about Us' before reading this, it would be a lot easier for you to understand. I created this fanfiction because TSOFTU didn't go the way I wanted to, and I only did it the please the readers. Now, I want to do what I said I'd do. I am sort of continuing from chapter 20, when the news (of Tadashi and Honey Lemon's marriage) is given to Reader.
Trigger Warning: Drinking, self-harm, profanity
"Come on, beautiful! The wedding is starting soon!"
You laughed softly, and checked yourself in the mirror again. You smiled at yourself, and nodded your head. "Ready!" You exclaimed, and twisted around, rushing out of the bright room.
This was it, everything you had prepared yourself for, was happening in just a few moments.
It all fell apart again. With all the strength you had built up so far, you spent pushing the smile on your face and keeping it on there. It stuck even as you walked out of the lab, and past the groups of students while on your way to the outside. You heard familiar voices call out behind you, but that didn't stop your steps. Soon, you were outside. The sun glared and you narrowed your eyes to keep your focus. It felt that with every step you took, you had ran another mile. All you wanted was to be back in your bed, where nobody would bother you and you couldn't be reminded of this all.
"Hey, [Y/N], hold up!" Voices shouted again, sounding like it belonged to Hiro and Gogo.
You slowly turned your head around, and seen them running to you, with Wasabi jogging behind them. Their mouths were opened, as if they were going to call your name again. Soon, they caught up to your slow strides and panted lightly, except for Gogo. "It makes no sense on how at your rate of speed and the time given, you had made it this far!" Wasabi reported.
The smile was still on your face, and you scratched the side of your head while giving out an airy chuckle. "Yeah, life's sure is crazy, isn't it?" You laughed again.
Your facade was so pathetic that you didn't take the bait either. The moment Gogo whispered, "Please don't force yourself like this, [Y/N]," The smile was gone from your face and you began to feel your eyes water. Your cheeks went pink, and you exhaled out a shaky breath.
"I just don't get it," you sighed and your face scrunched up as the tears brimmed in your eyes, "I just want to go home right now."
Wasabi and Gogo glanced at each other, and then looked away. There was an implicit agreement between the two of them that everything was amiss, and neither of them had the power to change it even if they wanted to. Gogo placed her hand at your back, and Hiro gulped, wanting to turn away. For some reason, it was more painful to see you so heartbroken than it was to see Tadashi, but only for that moment.
The people that walked by stared at you with different expressions. Fascination, confusion, or concern. Eventually, Wasabi noticed and tapped Gogo's shoulders quickly to grab her attention. In a low voice, he spoke to her, "Let's go. People are watching." You heard talk, and started to walk off quickly. You were such a mess.
You huffed while making your way past people, sometimes bumping into a couple of shoulders, and wiped your tears away. Hiro chased behind you, along with Gogo. Wasabi went back to the lab to get his car keys to drive you home. The warmth from the sunlight wasn't reaching you anymore, you knew it was there but you couldn't feel it. Instead, you felt a chills throughout your body and your legs felt weak.
Finally, Gogo and Hiro caught up to you again and directed you to Wasabi's minivan. Wasabi was already in there, putting the key into ignition and rolling down the windows.
"You want to go to the cafe instead, [Y/N]?" Hiro asked as you two entered the back, and Gogo sat down at the passenger's seat. She sighed and strapped on her seatbelt while shaking her head.
Wasabi started to drive out of the campus, and turned on the radio in attempt to fill up the silence.
You shrugged your shoulders, unsure what you wanted. If you went home, you would mope in bed for the rest of the day, but if you went to the cafe, you would force yourself to be happy. And it was hard to be happy when you don't exactly want to be happy. You gulped, and tried to decide quickly. Your breathing was shallow, and you brought your eyes out to the window to stare at blurry faces. While trying to push away the aching feelings, you realized it was inevitable and you let yourself feel the piercing pain in your chest.
"I want to go home, Hiro." The thought of cuddling yourself into your thick blankets and getting to avoid the daylight comforted you. You dragged the back of your hands on your eyes before the tears could even make it out. You were tired of crying, tired of having to deal with it all, exhausted of being tired.
The car shifted lanes as the destination changed. Wasabi felt that the music made everything more uncomfortable for him, so he shut it off right away and began humming.
The longer you stared out the windows, the more you noticed your reflection. Eventually, you were looking more at yourself rather than the outside. You didn't like it. You had forlorn eyes, a deep frown, and rosy cheeks. Such a long face, it was pathetic. Strangers that the car drove by could probably feel the heat in your chest and the vacancy in your stare.
Within the rest of the car ride, you didn't turn to face the others once. Gogo and Wasabi glanced back a handful of times, and Hiro never looked away for more than a second. For an unexplainable reason, he felt you would jump out of the car and start running again. You were always a runner in the race of issues. Finally, the car stopped in front of your house. Your mom wasn't home, so you knew that you had no arms to fall into when you got in.
"Bye, [Y/N]. Be safe." Hiro said.
"See you later. Call me if you need anything." Gogo offered, and then gave you a smile.
You mumbled a goodbye, and scurried up the steps to your door. The car didn't move until the front door slammed shut and you leaned back onto it. The engine roared and the car drove down the street, to wherever. Clumsily, your knees clanked against each other as you took your first steps towards the stairs, and you felt them wobble. The sickening feeling in your stomach that reminded you of drinking the alcohol cabinets dry returned. Everything hurt. The emotional pain was beginning to feel physical.
It seemed like a miracle when you made your way into your bedroom. The bed creaked under your heavy weight as you collapsed on it.
You're the best person I have ever met. You clenched your eyes shut. Man, we're going to the same college? Lucky me! You exhaled out an intense, and quick sigh. Soft brown eyes and lips that spoke about only caring about you. His voice was a hum. You two weren't exactly the epitome of lovers, but if the timing and feelings were just right, you knew you two would have transcended as lovers. You didn't want to think about anything anymore, because all the thinking has done you no good. You just wished you could wash the feeling away.
"Please," you muttered, and grabbed a fistful of your bedsheets. "Stop this." You whimpered, and then stuffed your face into your blankets. Soon you found it hard to breath and as much as you desired to suffocate, you turned your head and inhaled deeply.
The sunlight leaked past the thin curtains and fell on your back. Your skin warmed up, despite the chills running down your spine.
You knew that you would be asked to be Tadashi's best woman, or the honor attendant at the wedding. You knew that you would reply with a yes, even if your heart broke and your eyes got watery. Sometimes, you didn't know if you were just pathetically in love, or the definition of ride or die. He would say his vows to a girl you wish you could be, and you would clap your hands as they kissed. Lips that were meant for you—on someone else. The image occurred to you and you quickly dug your hand under the bed and searched without looking for it. At last, you felt the cool glass surface and pulled the bottle out from under swiftly. You weren't exactly hiding it. It just so happened that you kicked it under one day and you remembered that you did.
The burning sensation at your throat as you gulped down the alcohol couldn't compare to the fire at your stomach. The way the drink rushed down your throat couldn't compare to the downfall of rain in your heart. If this was love, you didn't want it anymore. In all honesty, you would rather just go numb.
"God, Tadashi!" Gogo bellowed, and then kicked the swivel chair to the side, "You out of all people know her, and know just how bad this hurts her! Sometimes, you're just so stupid. Arg!" She shouted. Tadashi pushed himself against the window, afraid of Gogo's death glare directed towards him. Honey Lemon had went home, and Wasabi and Hiro had classes to go to, meaning everyone was gone, leaving Tadashi and Gogo alone. It was just a series of unfortunate events for Tadashi.
Tadashi ducked his head as Gogo picked up a notebook quickly, though she threw it back on the desk with closed eyes. She was angry, but not violent, not at the second at least.
"Is this what you wanted? Huh? Is it?"
Tadashi didn't say anything, and scratched the back of his neck. They both knew that this wasn't what Tadashi wanted, and they both knew he felt guilty for it. Gogo slammed her fist on the desk, turning away from Tadashi. The desk shook under Gogo's hand, she wanted to release her anger but there was no right way to. If Wasabi was here, he would probably suggest mediation. Gogo chuckled in annoyance, and then stood up straight.
"Dear god, Tadashi," she slapped her forehead, and then dragged her hand down her face. "You're so lucky I'm taking Wasabi's advice right now. If I were just old me, I would have screamed my lungs at you." Gogo told him.
"Wasabi's advice? You're getting close to him, I see." Tadashi smirked.
Gogo rolled her eyes, but she quickly went back to glaring at him. "Don't change the subject." She hissed.
There was something else underlying in her sharp tone. Tadashi could tell that it wasn't just to return back to the original topic, it was to drive away from his comment. He couldn't help but scoff a small smirk. "You and Wasabi, huh?" He joked, raising one eyebrow. It was a bad idea to take that route, because Gogo huffed and crossed her arms.
"We're only getting close due to trying to stop you and [Y/N] from splitting apart." Gogo clarified, and then threw her head to the side, her bangs shifting more over to the right. Rays of light shined through the large circular window behind Tadashi, and stretched past Gogo. Her browns eyes seemed watery under the light, and she didn't look as tough as she was just a few moments ago. Of course she wasn't going to cry, but it looked like she was going to.
When Gogo was getting emotional in a situation, it was clear just how serious things were. Tadashi sighed and slid down the window slightly. He brought his left hand to his eyes, hovering over them. He suddenly didn't want Gogo to look at him, for her gaze was piercing and he was already feeling daggers at his ribs.
"I'm sorry for all of this, man," He shook his head in self-disappointment.
"Don't apologize to me, apologize to [Y/N]m" Gogo replied.
"I can't," Tadashi muttered, although she heard him. It was silent in the room when they weren't talking.
"Why not?"
"I'm sick of apologies. I feel like she heard enough of those,"
Quiet again. Gogo wasn't sure on how to respond, because he was right. Apologizing also meant saying sorry to Honey Lemon too, and both of them didn't want to see the outcome of that. Even though they hated to admit it, Honey's gleaming green eyes when the news was brought up were truly beautiful. Tadashi hated himself for doing this to her, and to you. Gogo hated herself for not being able to stop the situation from deepening.
"Did you see Jean's new experiment?" Tadashi chuckled, it was a bad attempt to lighten up the atmosphere. "He's trying to teach ducks to write with their webbed feet."
Within the overwhelming silence, Tadashi realized how entirely terrible everything was. "I know I said that I was tired of apologizes and how she might be too, but just tell [Y/N] I'm sorry. I truly am sorry, and if she hates me and wishes to never talk to me again. I understand that. I know you're going to say for me to tell me that, but please," he grew exasperated, "understand that I just can't."
Gogo's expression softened up, and planned to say something, but she sealed her lips together quickly. So she nodded her head, and headed towards the door. While her hand reached to the door handle, she stopped and looked at Tadashi.
He had his back turned to her, staring out the windows with his arms crossed. It appeared that he didn't notice that she was looking at him, although he felt her gaze completely. Without another word, she exited the room and went into the large main lab. There were less people, yet it was just as hectic. Tools were being thrown around the room, along with experiments making all kinds of noises and movements.
For a second, Gogo found it all overwhelming, but gradually gotten use to it and settled down at her section of the lab. Her matte black helmet laid on her table, and she poked at it, watching it slide easily on the surface. As much as she wanted to think of a way to help, she could tell her words didn't do much, so there was no point.
"Drinks on you tonight, Tim? Alright! And you sure you won't drink with us though, Estrella?" People walked behind Gogo's back, on their way to the doors with grins on their faces.
"Yeah, I'm the designated driver! I can't drink." Estrella pouted, "I get drunk so quickly."
At the word 'drunk' Gogo immediately thought of you, and all the noises in the room were suddenly drowned out.
How could someone so lovely have to deal with such terrible things? She had never told anyone, but she knew how it felt to have the one you like not like you back, and she used that pain to create this shield she carried all the time. Eventually, she grown to hate the shield, and now she was afraid you would do the same thing. Build a wall too high for anyone to climb, and soon you find out that you can't climb over it either.
There was an instinct at her ribs that you were drinking and crying your heart rather than just sleeping through the rest of the day. It was a bad feeling that caused her to shake her head and frown. "Dumb Tadashi," she mumbled, and tapped her fingers on the table.
A few people noticed her depressing and intense aura, and thought about going over to comfort her, however ended up not doing so. Gogo even on a good day seemed intimidating, so imagining how she would act when she was like this discouraged them right away. And they were somewhat right to, because the next thing they knew, she stood up quickly with an annoyed expression.
"Dumb Tadashi!" She hissed, and stomped to the doors. The room was suffocating and hot, so she needed fresh air soon otherwise she would combust. On her way out, she grabbed her motorcycle helmet.
People moved aside while she walked, letting her get out quicker. The moment she was outside, she inhaled deeply and exhaled two times louder. Adding on top of her anger was also her concern over you. She wanted to go check on you, though felt like you needed your space for awhile. However, how long was awhile going to be?
I'll just tell her Tadashi's message! Gogo thought, and then ran down the stairs and to her motorcycle. That would be her reason, although it was more of a quick excuse to check on you. The bike ignited with a roar through the engines, and soon she was off. During the ride, her hands clenched the handles and she leaned forward even more. The anticipation in what she might find thrilled and depressed her. A sadistic, and masochistic trait she grew recently.
A/N: I had this drafted for 3 months. . . So please don't expect quick updates, or even weekly updates for that matter.
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