Hey, I'm thinking that I am going to try writing a lot more since it's an outlet to a lot of feelings that I suppress. This story is going to be something that is different than anything I have ever written. I would like to ask for you to give it a chance. Thank you.

"And I'll be here by the ocean, just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams.

All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes and every wave drags me to sea.

I could stand here for hours just to ask God the question, 'Is everyone here make-believe?'

With a tear in his voice, he said, 'Son, that's the question.' Does this deafening silence mean nothing to no one but me?"

You Be the Anchor, Mayday Parade.

Eyes drained from the previous night, Troy Bolton swung his aching legs over the edge of his bed, kicking off his crumbled sheets in the process. He rubbed his tired eyes, hoping that just maybe he would reopen them to find himself somewhere else; anywhere but here. Instead, when his eyes finally opened once more, he was greeted by the same four walls that made him feel imprisoned. But this was not any kind of confinement…this was what he called home.

He had grown up in Albuquerque, New Mexico his entire life and still could not find a single perk that could have possibly drawn his parents to the area. For the most part, it was suburban town with friendly neighbors that knew every detail about each other's life. This was something that even an enclosing fence for privacy would not be able to prevent.

Like every morning, Troy walked the distance from his bedroom to the bathroom that was just down the hall, the noises of his parents arguing welcomed him to a brand new day as it was every day. As he leaned his hands against the counter around the bathroom sink, Troy wondered how it was even possible for every part of your body to be in pain and to ache with some kind of need that he knew he would not be able to fulfill. What he knew was pain and therefore, that was how he lived his life.

Each day he only lived for one single purpose; the purpose that got him out of his bed and off of his feet every morning. It was what he made his life about, what kept him going everyday. It was the need to be understood and to find someone who never judged his words. Of all the things anyone could ask for in the world, he yearned to be understood.

It was not until the night before that he finally decided to do something about the pain in his life and force it to come to an end. Picking up the nearly empty bottle of prescribed pain killers, Troy stuffed it in his pants to dispose of in order to destroy the evidence. When the all the events add up in his mind, Troy could not pinpoint an exact moment when he started feeling this way. He refused to call himself what he really was; suicidal.

He was the golden boy of East High. People envied him because what they saw when they looked at him was someone who was everything; someone who had everything. His best friends were Chad Danforth and Sharpay Evans, the ones he had grew up with and never left his side. They were his support system. He had the social status at school. Everyone loved him. And now, finally, Troy was even closer to finishing his senior year, only one half of the year left until he could graduate. To top it all off, he had the looks. The Abercrombie model body type, just more athletic. He had dark brown hair that fell slightly over his captivating eyes, making him look mysterious and causing most girls to swoon.

But what you see is not always what you get. Behind closed doors, Troy saw himself as a person that was grotesque and disgusting. He saw someone who had managed to screw up the marriage of his parents and get in the middle of the relationship between his closest friends Sharpay and Chad. He felt that he lived in a world made up of everything artificial with no real feelings. He found himself alone, feeling alone, with absolutely no one. But that was a side of him that no one saw and to him...that was what made him golden.

His parents started having problems when Troy was only twelve. His mother had found out not too subtly that when his father said he was working extra hours, he was not always telling the honest truth. Even then, this had been tough for Troy to deal with but since his parents had only chose to have one child, he did not have anyone to talk to about it. He chose to keep feelings in to himself, letting them build up for the past five years, constructing a wall that kept him apart from the rest of his world.

When Troy was only four years old in preschool, he had met Chad Danforth, who accepted him in every way, who had become a brother to him. Later on when the two boys were ten, Chad became infatuated with Sharpay Evans. Ever since, they had been the three who people always expected to be together. But no matter how hard both Sharpay and Chad tried, they couldn't break through Troy's wall. But they were never aware of how Troy really felt about his life.

No one would know how deep his pain cut through him. No one would know that he smiled whenever he thought of the tranquility that death would bring him. No one would know that he lost his faith when he was fourteen.

These were all of the things he fought to keep to himself and planned on never revealing. This was all true...until he met her.

The school was buzzing with anticipation of being back at school after holiday break. Reading the faces of different people in the crowd, she saw what she would decipher as being bored to be back at school already. She could read the fear on the freshmen faces whose classes had switched for the new semester. She wanted to just stop and pat them on the shoulder to let them know that there really was nothing to be afraid of. She remembered when she was a freshman, having heard rumors and legends of "Freshman Day" that was much like a hazing of all the new students, the one day that all of the upperclassmen could make complete fools of the 9th graders. Of course no such thing existed.

But now, three years later, she still felt like she was one of the freshmen of herself. Gabriella Montez was new to the school district, her mother having been transferred to Albuquerque over the holiday break. Her entire life, she had been familiar with moving around frequently. But for the past three years, she had stayed at one location, making high school an easier experience for her. Now, for the first time she resented her mother for being transferred half way through her senior year.

By far, this had been the largest school she'd ever attended. The bright white hall ways made it seem larger than it really was, even when they were swarming with other teenagers like her. With no idea what direction she was supposed to be headed in, Gabriella wandered aimlessly, feeling like a lost puppy.

"Hey Curly-Q," Someone called from behind her.

Freezing at the nickname that a few of her family members had always insisted on calling her, Gabriella held in a groan. Had her wavy dark brown locks betrayed her once more?

Great, she must have looked like a lost puppy, too, Gabriella thought to herself. Before turning to find out whether or not the statement had been directed at her, she sighed heavily.

She turned to come face to face with one of the prettiest girls she had ever seen. The blonde looked as though she had stepped right of a cardboard Barbie box with her shiny pink heels and mini dress that was bedazzled. She had a smirk on her face and a hand propped up on her hip.

"You are looking a little lost," the girl spoke once more, her voice laced with complete sarcasm.

Clearing her throat, Gabriella nodded. "Well considering I'm new to the school and feel like I am in a herd of boar, yeah, I'm a little lost."

The blonde's eyebrows rose appreciatively; she loved people who didn't look up to her and act like she was somehow better than everyone else. Usually that came with the territory of being considered popular. Since she was the lead of the drama department at school, most people respected her and were aware of her status. Besides that, she dated one of the best players on the basketball team. "You know Curly-Q, I was contemplating on whether or not I would help you…but now that you have called me a boar…"

Gabriella's hands went up in mock defeat, "Oh no, no, no," She let out a small laugh. "Never would I link you into the same category."

"Okay, good." She clapped her hands together. "Now...whose homeroom are you looking for?"

"Darbus."

"Well Curly-Q, it looks as if you'll be seeing more of me. That's my homeroom," She told her, the same smirk never leaving the presence of her face. "I'm Sharpay. No it is not a breed of a dog. Just Sharpay." She extended her hand with her perfectly manicured fingernails that matched her outfit.

Gabriella smiled, shaking the hand of the girl who was offering her help. "I'm Gabriella." She could already sense a good start to the rest of her senior year. Maybe, just maybe, it was not going to be as bad as she had thought.

"Sure, sure, Curly-Q," Sharpay laughed, pretending to shake the name right off of her shoulders. "Now…follow me."

He took the last hit left of his cigarette, always finding that the most depressing, knowing that the calm he felt whenever he smoked was over. When he was younger he never thought he would rely on any kind of drug to make him feel better. He knew differently now. After hearing the late bell from outside of the school, Troy got out of his old white pick up truck, his ear pieces from his iPod blasting so that he could drown out the sound of reality.

By the time he got inside of the school, the halls were nearly emptied, the way that he liked it. Navigation was easy and so was avoiding most people. Rounding the corner that would take him to the hall that his homeroom was located, Troy took one last deep breath, winding the door handle of Darbus' room.

Sharpay's eyes lit up when he entered, Chad's eyes following his girlfriend's gaze. "It's about time you showed up," Sharpay said in a low voice that did not go unnoticed like she had planned.

"Yes, it is about time," Their mid-aged homeroom teacher who was in charge of the drama department screeched. "Bolton, it's fair too early in the new year to be asking for a detention! But then again, I have plenty of sets in the future that are going to need painting…"

Troy remained wordless, sliding into the same seat he had for the past three years, the sound of his music making it look as though Mrs. Darbus' lips were just moving with no sound coming out, reminding him of the infamous Charlie Brown's teacher.

"It won't happen again," Chad Danforth filled in for Troy who decided to remain mute. After all, the basketball team needed their MVP for the upcoming playoffs.

She shook her head before she resumed taking attendance, dropping the matter for the time being.

"Yo, Hoops," Chad whispered even though his quiet voice could be heard by everyone in the room. Sharpay rolled her eyes from her seat in the very front of the room. "What are you trying to do? Get detentions all season?"

Troy shrugged, still not comprehending any of the words around him.

Chad reached across the aisle in-between their desks, flicking one of the ear pieces out. "I said, are you planning on getting detentions all season?"

Once more, he shrugged, thinking that maybe that would not be one of the worst ideas Chad has come up with. Judging the smirk on Troy's face, Chad cut off his thoughts. "Don't even think of doing it now. Get your head in the game, Troy. You would be letting more people down than just yourself."

Troy recognized the truth in his best friend's words. Of course he would let people down. To Troy, that's all that life was about. He believed that nothing could be done without letting someone down. He could not make one of his parents happy without disappointing the other. He could not make himself happy without disappointing someone else.

Troy nodded a response, staring at the second hand on the clock as it ticked by, waiting the last ten seconds like that until the dismissing bell rang. The moment it did, he slid his foot out in the center of the aisle in-between the rows of desk, only to feel a pair of feet collide with his own, sending a body sprawling over him. With the quickest reaction he had all morning, Troy caught the girl who had tripped over him by her waist, wondering how he had not noticed someone sitting behind him. Usually, he was the last person in the first row of desks. She must have been new, Troy figured as he brought her back to her own feet as people shuffled out of the door around them.

"I'm so sorry," she said immediately, her face as red as a tomato and her voice flustered, as if it were actually her fault that Troy had inconsiderately thrown his foot in front of her.

With his hand still on her waist, helping her regain her balance, Troy shook his head, lowering the volume of his iPod with his free hand. "No it was my fault-"

"You coming Curly-Q?" Sharpay interrupted from the door. "Lucky you, we share all the same classes," She winked and added a genuine smile.

The girl with eyes that had Troy's mind transfixed nodded, hurried quickly away from and out of his grasp as if he was diseased. Sharpay waved quickly to Troy. "See you at lunch," she added before directing the girl in the opposite direction that he was headed, leaving an extremely confused and dazed Troy.

"And then she goes, 'No, you don't look like Brad Pitt'. I do, don't I? If anything, I am better looking." Jason Cross, a member of the basketball team who Troy and Chad had hung around with since middle school asked the lunch table of boys.

"Definitely better looking," Sharpay chimed as she approached the table, having heard part of the conversation. She claimed the empty seat next to Chad. "Guys my new friend is going to sit with us," Sharpay informed, not even asking if it was okay with them because in the end, she knew that she would have her way. "Curly-Q, there is a seat next to Troy," She pointed to the space across from her own.

Gabriella was used to hanging out with boys rather than hanging out with girls. Her whole life, she'd preferred hanging out with guys due to their ways of being easygoing. She nodded, shyly, taking the seat next to the boy she had made a fool of herself in front of in the morning.

"Okay everyone, this is Curly-Q. Curly-Q, this is Chad, Jason, Zeke, Brad, Matt, and Troy," She said pointing to each of the guys as she said their names. Gabriella noted that all of them looked as though they were clipped right out of a magazine. Sharpay took in her appreciative gaze. "Yeah, they are all on the basketball team," she winked. Gabriella allowed herself to laugh as the boys welcomed her to their lunch table.

"I wish my mom had named me something as cool as Curly-Q," Jason stated with his eyes wide in amazement.

Zeke elbowed his friend's side sharply, "You idiot, her name isn't really Curly-Q." There was silence at the table. "Or is it really?"

Hearing her cue to join in the casual conversation, Gabriella shook her head. "No, just the name that Sharpay insists on calling me. I am Gabriella, my mom was recently transferred here. I used to go to West High."

"Ooh, tainted blood," Chad Danforth said in a joking manner, making Gabriella feel even more at ease.

"Do you think that they have her bugged?" Jason asked in a whisper, making the whole table laugh. All but one.

Troy had his ear pieces in but on mute so that he could hear the conversation but have an excuse not to be apart of it. He studied the new girl, finding her familiar but could not figure out where he had seen her before. His forehead creased from the hard thinking as he was making himself believe that he was possibly losing his mind. He did not know her. No, she was just some girl who tripped over him, he convinced himself.

Dismissing himself from the table without even saying he was leaving, Troy exited the cafeteria, making Gabriella wonder if she had said something or maybe she smelt so incredibly bad that he could not tolerate sitting next to her.

Sharpay was an observer. She noticed every little detail about nearly anyone. Seeing Gabriella's change of posture, Sharpay shrugged. "Don't worry about Troy, Curly-Q. He doesn't have anything against you. He just likes detaching himself sometimes." Gabriella looked around to see the rest of the table in compliance and decided to believe her.

Surprisingly, she began to mold in well with Sharpay and her friends, as if she were meant to meet the blonde Barbie. She had always been one to believe in fate. If something happens, there is a reason for it. Gabriella decided that she was going to take it as a good sign that she already felt accepted. If things always rolled this smoothly, she knew she wouldn't have a problem at the new school in the least bit.

"I'm going to look around more before the end of lunch," Gabriella said as she rose from her spot at the table.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sharpay offered, ready to join her.

"No it's really alright," She smiled and then waved a goodbye to the rest of the group.

Now, she knew the school was not really a labyrinth; it was simply her mind playing tricks on her. For the most part, Gabriella was great with directions. There was something about the hallways being crowded during passing time that caused her to have trouble finding her way. Now, with no one else around, Gabriella could find each of her classes easily. Locating the library and auditorium for later references, she smiled triumphantly to herself. Making record time, she even had time to spare.

Naturally, Gabriella was a curious person. So when she came to the door that once opened led to a flight of stares, she pursued it. Climbing the dark staircase while holding on to the railing to her right, she trudged up the stairs, wondering if she were even permitted to use the stairs. When she read the sign that said 'roof access', she knew that it was most likely frowned upon that she was up there. Screw it, she figured, since she was there already.

With a simple twist of a knob, Gabriella found herself surrounded by the most extravagant of flowers, bright pinks, reds, and blues. There were vines that twisted up the sides of an outdoor gazebo, right on top of the roof. With perfect view, she could see what looked like all of Albuquerque. By far, this was her favorite place she had seen out the new town that she lived. She was so mesmerized by the sights that she did not even notice the boy that she had been introduced to as Troy, leaning on the railing on the edge of the building.

"Don't jump," she joked, and to her surprise, he had actually heard her through the high volume of his music.

Troy sighed, turning off the iPod altogether. "Just admiring the view," He said with a tortured voice, sarcasm apparent in his tone.

"Sorry if I intruded-"

"No, new girl. What's mine is yours now, right?" He offered a weak smile. "Have I seen you somewhere before?"

Gabriella attentively walked near the railing that Troy was leaning on. "Not that I know of…"

"So that wasn't you who tripped over me this morning…"

Her face turned a shade of red. "Oh, no I thought you meant-"

He smirked. "I know what you meant." Absentmindedly, Gabriella fidgeted her fingers, circling her right wrist, causing Troy to watch her with amusement. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Gabriella answered, finding herself feeling shy for the first time all day. "I just kind of banged it against your desk this morning. I am what they call…clumsy?"

"No, that was my fault this morning." Troy shrugged, his eyes still trained on the town beneath them. "Can I see it?"

"What?"

Troy reached for her wrist, turning it over in his palm. Holding in her breath as his own fingers enclosed around her wrist, Gabriella tried her hardest not to look up at his face. "It'll probably only bruise. Looks like you'll survive another day here." He let go of her wrist as she nodded, not finding any breath in her to get out anything else.

"So…" Gabriella broke the prolonged silence. "What are you doing up here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I found the entrance by mistake and I just decided to see what was up here."

"Are you sure you didn't follow me?"

"No! No, I really didn't-"

"Hey, Gabriella, right?" She nodded. "I was just joking. I come up here for some breathing room. I can't even hear my own thoughts in there."

She studied him thoroughly, noticing the slouch of his shoulders and the haze in his eyes. "Sometimes hearing your own thoughts isn't a good thing," she muttered.

"What was that?" Troy asked, even though he was sure of what she said, only wanting to hear her say it once more.

"I said it is nice up here."

Troy smirked, looking at the ground below him. He let his mind wander; trying to imagine what it would be like to fly. He wondered if people who committed suicide by jumping from buildings or bridges had ever wondered if maybe they'd fly into another life or a new beginning. "Yes…it's nice up here."

September 8th, 2009

You don't know me and it doesn't matter, you don't have to. Who you need to know is yourself. Take all the bad and negative in your life and count it up. This made you all that you are; it built you. Despite what you're feeling, you're strong. You can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it. One step at a time, I believe in you. There's always tomorrow and then the day after that. Don't expect too much from yourself. You're only human.

-B