Shat Mannon and the stolen chips
[Based on true events, recaptured with some slight exaggeration, this is from a story from the music festival, Vfest]
It was a cold summer's night, and all was well, except for Matt, who fell under a spell.
The rest will not be poetry.
Shannon reached for another dodgy Gary when all of a sudden, he saw a group of young girls at the festival with him, he was dead.
Earlier he had taken so many Garies that he had actually died and come back to life at the same time, remarkable really, he saw the group walk toward his group of guys and they joined hands and slow danced, Matt got paired with one who was really in the mood for some Shat Daddy.
SUDDENLY, NINJAS!
Shat Mannon told them to "fuck off", and they left, because he had previously gotten henno for Vfest. They continued the ritual.
His girly-wurly whispered in his ear; "Hey, you look hungry, wanna get some chips?" Matt took this as an offer of both a good knobbing, and chips! He responded with "Eh" and left with her.
They walked off into the night, hand-in-hand, Gary-in-pocket, turd-in-pants. He watched as she ran into the night dragging him with her like that paedophile that had touched him when he was six. Her hair glistened with the moon's rays, and he got an erection, he couldn't feel it though, he was too west.
As they approached the chip stand, Matt finally realised that he could not feel his large black snake, and that he was not even nearly sober enough to ravage this girl where she stood, so like the hero he is, he waited until the chips were bought, and handed to him by her, and walked off with the chips in hand, as he remembered that no matter how he felt about giving her one, he was still hungry. Matt was hungry because he was a heroin addict who wanked in his room too much.
From this point onward Matt had forgotten all, he probably woke up in the area everyone goes to piss, but one thing he did remember, were the memories of him and his lover…and her chips.
Scot Shannon
Part 2 will be translated at some point, don't know when, don't really care.