Disclaimers: I do NOT own Pokemon, or its characters. I
have some trading cards and some plushies, but they are
emphatically NOT the real thing. I just feel like playing
with some of them right now – please don't hurt me! I'll put
them back! I promise! *cowers*
This fic contains shounen ai – which means that I like to
write/read about boys who like boys who like them back. In
a non-platonic way. I think it's cute. If you don't, if for
example the word "homosexual" makes you want to hurl, or
if you believe that boys who like other boys should burn in
Hell for all eternity, then it's just the best thing for
everyone if you leave right now. If you do decide to read
this, it's your own damn fault and I didn't force you to do
it. If you want to flame me, go right ahead. Don't expect a
response, of course, but I like to play with fire. ^_^
What? I need more warnings?? Oh yeah – fuck canon. Fuck
the timeline. Ash is 16 and Gary is 17. Deal with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a spring day like any other in Pallet Town. The sky
was perfect robin's egg blue, arching into the reaches of
infinity, interrupted only by a few puffy white clouds. The
light breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees, the soothing
sound of which mingled beautifully with the happy barks of
several Growlithe, who were playing with the various boys
and girls to whom they belonged.
All this was rather lost on Ash Ketchum, walking down the
road toward Professor Oak's house. He stared at the ground
in front of his feet, hands in his pockets, ignoring Pikachuu
as she clung to his back and tried to talk to him. Frowning,
he wondered fleetingly if he hadn't better stay home. But
no – this had to be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gary Oak clicked his thumb on the remote control, absently
patting his Arcanine with his left hand as he channel-
surfed. He sighed; nothing but reruns. The doorbell rang,
and Arcanine trotted over to it, barking halfheartedly.
"Would you get that, Gramps?" The words were out of his
mouth before he remembered that his grandfather was out
of town – duh, that was why he was house-sitting.
Arcanine's barks and whines were growing more insistent as
whoever-it-was rapped on the door, so Gary hauled his ass
out of the chair.
"All right, arc arc arc, I know," he said, patting Arcanine
and opening the door. He looked up, and saw –
"Ash?" Gary blinked, settling the mask of scorn over his
features and hoping the other had not noticed the slip.
"Gramps isn't here." He moved to shut the door again, but
Ash's hand caught it.
"I know," said Ash.
That gave him pause. Gary cleared his throat. "So… so what
do you want?"
Ash's eyes, barely visible beneath the brim of the battered
league hat which he still wore, slid away self-consciously.
He scuffed his toe over the ground. "I came… to see you."
"What?" Gary blinked. "That doesn't make any sense, Ashy-
boy."
"I need to talk to you." Ash took a shaky breath, as if
gathering himself for something. "I… I wanted to apologize.
For whatever I did to make you hate me."
"What do you mean?"
"I must have done something really bad," Ash continued, as
if Gary hadn't spoken. "I don't know what it was, and I
know that's going to make it harder for you to forgive me.
But I hope you can. Because I… I want things to be the way
they used to be."
"Pikapi!" Pikachuu, clinging to Ash's back, slid forward on his
shoulder and rubbed her head against his face. Gary
blinked, looking closer. Was that… the silver trail of a tear?
/Ash,/ he thought. /Don't cry. I would kiss all your tears
away, if you'd let me. But…/
"That can never happen." He didn't realized he'd spoken
aloud until Ash looked up at him, hurt plain in his face, then
turned away.
'I understand," he said, so softly that Gary's ears barely
caught the words. "I'll go now." As Ash walked away, his
Pikachuu looked sadly back at Gary, as if she understood.
He would not have been surprised; pokemon were often more
perceptive than people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Pi chupi pikachu chuu!"
"It's all right, Pikachuu." Ash wiped the tears from his
cheeks, rubbing at his red, puffy eyes. "It's only what I
expected."
"Pika pikachuu, Pikapi."
Ash laughed humorlessly. "No, you've got it backwards,
Pikachuu - *I* love *him*."
"Chuuuuu…" she sighed.
"I love him," Ash repeated to himself. /But I can't love him.
He's a boy. I'm a boy. It's not… not right. I must be a
monster…/ Ash sat up straighter as a thought occurred to
him. /What if he knows? What if that's… why?/ "I can
never see him again, Pikachuu," he said softly. "Never." He
gazed out at the lake, looking right through the little boats
and happy, laughing people, and sighed as the tears came
again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gary sighed, trying to pretend to himself that he was
engrossed in the program on the television – and failing
miserably. /Ash…/ He pictured the other boy's face, in his
mind stroking his fingers over those cheeks… those lips…
"Arc!" The sharp bark cut through his thoughts. He looked
up to see Arcanine scratching at the door and whining.
"Nine."
"Okay, buddy, I hear you." He stood, approaching the door.
Gary checked his watch. "Time for a walk? What do you
think, buddy?"
"ARC!"
Gary smiled weakly. "Then we'd better get going, huh?" He
opened the door and followed the pokemon out into the
sunlight. Arcanine barked again, happily, and bounded down
the road that led toward the lake. Gary followed, still lost
in his thoughts.
There was a place by the lake – a big maple tree, just
above the beach, that gave the best shade in summer. It
was where, as children, Ash and Gary used to play – in the
winter, it was where they'd built their snowmen and tied on
their ice skates; in the summer, it was where they had laid
out their beach towels to swim. To this spot, Arcanine now
headed. Gary followed blindly, until…
Small whimpering sounds, punctuated sporadically by "pi" or
"chu", were issuing from the other side of the tree.
/That…/ Gary faltered. /That sounds like - / " - Ash!" The
sounds stopped.
"Go away." Ash's voice broke, just slightly, as if he had
been crying.
Against his better judgement, Gary walked around the tree
and crouched next to Ash. "I'm sorry," he whispered, so
quietly that he wasn't sure the other had heard him. There
was a long silence.
"It's not your fault," said Ash, just as Gary was opening his
mouth to speak again. "I'm just… just a monster."
"Don't cry, I didn't mean to make you – what?" Gary was
speaking before the impact of Ash's words registered.
"You're not a monster! What do you mean?"
"I – I'm not?" Ash looked at him hesitantly, brown eyes
wide. "There's nothing wrong with – how I feel?"
Gary's heart skipped a beat. Did that mean - ? He
swallowed nervously, struggling to find his voice. "How do
you feel, Ash?"
Ash's gaze hardened as he looked away. "You know. Don't
make me say it."
"No, I don't know." Gary gathered his resolve. "Is it… is it
the way I feel?"
Slowly, so slowly, Ash turned back toward him, his eyes
lowered. Gary's breath caught, and he waited, not daring to
hope.
The smaller boy's eyes lifted, and Gary saw all the truth in
them – Ash's love, Ash's self-deprecation, Ash's fear of
rejection… And yet, even though they were red and puffy
from crying, those eyes were beautiful. Gary never wanted
to see them full of tears ever again, unless those tears
were of joy.
"Hai," he whispered, "it is the way I feel. You asked… what
you had done, to make me hate you. I think… I think you
understand now – I had to act that way."
"I was so afraid you would hate me…" Ash's voice faltered.
"Worse, I mean." He closed his eyes, and a perfect tear
slid down his cheek. Gary hesitated just an instant before
brushing that tear away, his fingers lingering on Ash's face.
"I never hated you," Gary murmured.
"I know that, now." Ash looked at him, and he was caught in
those eyes once again. "How long?" Ash asked.
Gary swallowed convulsively. "I think… always. But I *knew*
when you won your green badge – remember?" Ash nodded.
"That's when I realized that I…" He trailed off.
"Tell me," Ash pleaded. "I need to hear you say it."
"I…" Gary sucked in a breath, suddenly shy. "…Ai shiteru,
Ash."
Ash threw his arms around him. "Aa, ai shiteru, Gary.
Zutto."
Gray eyes met brown, then Gary captured that lovely mouth
in a sweet kiss. He softly nudged Ash's lips apart, just
slightly, capturing the lower in his teeth and tugging
insistently. Ash gasped against him and he released the lip,
running his tongue along it soothingly – and causing Ash to
moan into his mouth. Gary slid his tongue between Ash's lips
and ran it along the inside of his cheek, soft and slow, as
he stroked his hands up and down Ash's back. Just as he
was pulling away slightly, the tip of a tongue hesitantly met
his own, and they twined together, tugging and tasting, in a
slow, sensuous dance.
"Pi!"
Both boys pulled back, remaining in each other's arms, to
see Pikachuu and Arcanine glaring at them accusingly. Ash
blushed lightly.
"Sorry, guys," he said.
"Pika pika chuu!" exclaimed Pikachuu.
Ash laughed, glancing at Gary. "No, I will most certainly
*not* promise never to do that again!"
Gary chuckled. "Go play or something."
The two pokemon walked away, Pikachuu still grumbling to
herself. Gary chuckled again and reached for Ash.
~OWARI~
have some trading cards and some plushies, but they are
emphatically NOT the real thing. I just feel like playing
with some of them right now – please don't hurt me! I'll put
them back! I promise! *cowers*
This fic contains shounen ai – which means that I like to
write/read about boys who like boys who like them back. In
a non-platonic way. I think it's cute. If you don't, if for
example the word "homosexual" makes you want to hurl, or
if you believe that boys who like other boys should burn in
Hell for all eternity, then it's just the best thing for
everyone if you leave right now. If you do decide to read
this, it's your own damn fault and I didn't force you to do
it. If you want to flame me, go right ahead. Don't expect a
response, of course, but I like to play with fire. ^_^
What? I need more warnings?? Oh yeah – fuck canon. Fuck
the timeline. Ash is 16 and Gary is 17. Deal with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a spring day like any other in Pallet Town. The sky
was perfect robin's egg blue, arching into the reaches of
infinity, interrupted only by a few puffy white clouds. The
light breeze ruffled the leaves of the trees, the soothing
sound of which mingled beautifully with the happy barks of
several Growlithe, who were playing with the various boys
and girls to whom they belonged.
All this was rather lost on Ash Ketchum, walking down the
road toward Professor Oak's house. He stared at the ground
in front of his feet, hands in his pockets, ignoring Pikachuu
as she clung to his back and tried to talk to him. Frowning,
he wondered fleetingly if he hadn't better stay home. But
no – this had to be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gary Oak clicked his thumb on the remote control, absently
patting his Arcanine with his left hand as he channel-
surfed. He sighed; nothing but reruns. The doorbell rang,
and Arcanine trotted over to it, barking halfheartedly.
"Would you get that, Gramps?" The words were out of his
mouth before he remembered that his grandfather was out
of town – duh, that was why he was house-sitting.
Arcanine's barks and whines were growing more insistent as
whoever-it-was rapped on the door, so Gary hauled his ass
out of the chair.
"All right, arc arc arc, I know," he said, patting Arcanine
and opening the door. He looked up, and saw –
"Ash?" Gary blinked, settling the mask of scorn over his
features and hoping the other had not noticed the slip.
"Gramps isn't here." He moved to shut the door again, but
Ash's hand caught it.
"I know," said Ash.
That gave him pause. Gary cleared his throat. "So… so what
do you want?"
Ash's eyes, barely visible beneath the brim of the battered
league hat which he still wore, slid away self-consciously.
He scuffed his toe over the ground. "I came… to see you."
"What?" Gary blinked. "That doesn't make any sense, Ashy-
boy."
"I need to talk to you." Ash took a shaky breath, as if
gathering himself for something. "I… I wanted to apologize.
For whatever I did to make you hate me."
"What do you mean?"
"I must have done something really bad," Ash continued, as
if Gary hadn't spoken. "I don't know what it was, and I
know that's going to make it harder for you to forgive me.
But I hope you can. Because I… I want things to be the way
they used to be."
"Pikapi!" Pikachuu, clinging to Ash's back, slid forward on his
shoulder and rubbed her head against his face. Gary
blinked, looking closer. Was that… the silver trail of a tear?
/Ash,/ he thought. /Don't cry. I would kiss all your tears
away, if you'd let me. But…/
"That can never happen." He didn't realized he'd spoken
aloud until Ash looked up at him, hurt plain in his face, then
turned away.
'I understand," he said, so softly that Gary's ears barely
caught the words. "I'll go now." As Ash walked away, his
Pikachuu looked sadly back at Gary, as if she understood.
He would not have been surprised; pokemon were often more
perceptive than people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Pi chupi pikachu chuu!"
"It's all right, Pikachuu." Ash wiped the tears from his
cheeks, rubbing at his red, puffy eyes. "It's only what I
expected."
"Pika pikachuu, Pikapi."
Ash laughed humorlessly. "No, you've got it backwards,
Pikachuu - *I* love *him*."
"Chuuuuu…" she sighed.
"I love him," Ash repeated to himself. /But I can't love him.
He's a boy. I'm a boy. It's not… not right. I must be a
monster…/ Ash sat up straighter as a thought occurred to
him. /What if he knows? What if that's… why?/ "I can
never see him again, Pikachuu," he said softly. "Never." He
gazed out at the lake, looking right through the little boats
and happy, laughing people, and sighed as the tears came
again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gary sighed, trying to pretend to himself that he was
engrossed in the program on the television – and failing
miserably. /Ash…/ He pictured the other boy's face, in his
mind stroking his fingers over those cheeks… those lips…
"Arc!" The sharp bark cut through his thoughts. He looked
up to see Arcanine scratching at the door and whining.
"Nine."
"Okay, buddy, I hear you." He stood, approaching the door.
Gary checked his watch. "Time for a walk? What do you
think, buddy?"
"ARC!"
Gary smiled weakly. "Then we'd better get going, huh?" He
opened the door and followed the pokemon out into the
sunlight. Arcanine barked again, happily, and bounded down
the road that led toward the lake. Gary followed, still lost
in his thoughts.
There was a place by the lake – a big maple tree, just
above the beach, that gave the best shade in summer. It
was where, as children, Ash and Gary used to play – in the
winter, it was where they'd built their snowmen and tied on
their ice skates; in the summer, it was where they had laid
out their beach towels to swim. To this spot, Arcanine now
headed. Gary followed blindly, until…
Small whimpering sounds, punctuated sporadically by "pi" or
"chu", were issuing from the other side of the tree.
/That…/ Gary faltered. /That sounds like - / " - Ash!" The
sounds stopped.
"Go away." Ash's voice broke, just slightly, as if he had
been crying.
Against his better judgement, Gary walked around the tree
and crouched next to Ash. "I'm sorry," he whispered, so
quietly that he wasn't sure the other had heard him. There
was a long silence.
"It's not your fault," said Ash, just as Gary was opening his
mouth to speak again. "I'm just… just a monster."
"Don't cry, I didn't mean to make you – what?" Gary was
speaking before the impact of Ash's words registered.
"You're not a monster! What do you mean?"
"I – I'm not?" Ash looked at him hesitantly, brown eyes
wide. "There's nothing wrong with – how I feel?"
Gary's heart skipped a beat. Did that mean - ? He
swallowed nervously, struggling to find his voice. "How do
you feel, Ash?"
Ash's gaze hardened as he looked away. "You know. Don't
make me say it."
"No, I don't know." Gary gathered his resolve. "Is it… is it
the way I feel?"
Slowly, so slowly, Ash turned back toward him, his eyes
lowered. Gary's breath caught, and he waited, not daring to
hope.
The smaller boy's eyes lifted, and Gary saw all the truth in
them – Ash's love, Ash's self-deprecation, Ash's fear of
rejection… And yet, even though they were red and puffy
from crying, those eyes were beautiful. Gary never wanted
to see them full of tears ever again, unless those tears
were of joy.
"Hai," he whispered, "it is the way I feel. You asked… what
you had done, to make me hate you. I think… I think you
understand now – I had to act that way."
"I was so afraid you would hate me…" Ash's voice faltered.
"Worse, I mean." He closed his eyes, and a perfect tear
slid down his cheek. Gary hesitated just an instant before
brushing that tear away, his fingers lingering on Ash's face.
"I never hated you," Gary murmured.
"I know that, now." Ash looked at him, and he was caught in
those eyes once again. "How long?" Ash asked.
Gary swallowed convulsively. "I think… always. But I *knew*
when you won your green badge – remember?" Ash nodded.
"That's when I realized that I…" He trailed off.
"Tell me," Ash pleaded. "I need to hear you say it."
"I…" Gary sucked in a breath, suddenly shy. "…Ai shiteru,
Ash."
Ash threw his arms around him. "Aa, ai shiteru, Gary.
Zutto."
Gray eyes met brown, then Gary captured that lovely mouth
in a sweet kiss. He softly nudged Ash's lips apart, just
slightly, capturing the lower in his teeth and tugging
insistently. Ash gasped against him and he released the lip,
running his tongue along it soothingly – and causing Ash to
moan into his mouth. Gary slid his tongue between Ash's lips
and ran it along the inside of his cheek, soft and slow, as
he stroked his hands up and down Ash's back. Just as he
was pulling away slightly, the tip of a tongue hesitantly met
his own, and they twined together, tugging and tasting, in a
slow, sensuous dance.
"Pi!"
Both boys pulled back, remaining in each other's arms, to
see Pikachuu and Arcanine glaring at them accusingly. Ash
blushed lightly.
"Sorry, guys," he said.
"Pika pika chuu!" exclaimed Pikachuu.
Ash laughed, glancing at Gary. "No, I will most certainly
*not* promise never to do that again!"
Gary chuckled. "Go play or something."
The two pokemon walked away, Pikachuu still grumbling to
herself. Gary chuckled again and reached for Ash.
~OWARI~