A/N: I haven't seen season five, so this might be a little AU. I'll try to find out as much as possible, but… Sorry in advance. In this I'm assuming that Torren is born and Kanaan is gone. Isn't that convenient… haha. I'm going to keep alternating point of view. Thanks for the great beta, sgafan360.

Little things - John

The fantastic blue of the Stargate winked out behind SGA-1 team. Sheppard breathed a sigh of relief. That had to have been one of the most annoying missions he had ever been on. The leader had talked non stop and not listened a word that was said to him. Even Teyla began to clench her jaw in aggravation, something he at least had found amusing. When she had caught him smirking at her she had given him a glare to crack ice. Ronon had been fit to kill, and Rodney had exasperating things by asking the most ridiculous questions.

Woolsey was standing at the top of the stairs to meet them. Teyla had been exempted from post-mission briefing so she could spend less time away from her son. She left now to pick him up from what Rodney had dubbed a makeshift day-care. John was happy she had decided to remain on active member of the team. She had worried about her decision greatly, and this was one of the few missions she had been on since she had come back, and he knew she worried about her son constantly, as well as the danger she was putting herself in. He and Ronon had become extremely protective of her on missions, and - to her chagrin- they refused to allow her to do anything they deemed as too dangerous. The first time he had to pull rank on her. That had gone down well…. Not.

Their relationship had been shaky as of late. John had found it hard to accept Torren. There was nothing wrong with the boy. Hell, he was cute. But he hadn't come to terms yet with the idea that Teyla had moved on and left him behind. He knew he had no right to be thinking like that. He had no claim on her. That didn't stop the hurt. Or her mistaking his reticence for dislike of her son. So yeah, saying things were difficult was a bit of an understatement.

Sighing, John and the remainder of his team made their way up the stairs to Woolsey's office to go over the details of their fruitless mission.

Smack.

The slap of the back of Ronon's hand against Sheppard's arm rang out in the almost silent gym. There was no noise other than the deep breathing of the two sparring partners and the quick shuffle of feet. Ronon grunted as he deflected Sheppard's sweeping kick to his ankle. The Satedan feinted to the left, but instead swung to John's right and jabbed him in the ribs.

"Ah! Christ," Sheppard took a few steps away and walked off the pain. Ronon smirked as he sank down to his knees and adjusted his boots. "I should smack you while you're distracted."

"I'd still beat you." Standing again, Ronon jumped on the balls of his feet and shook his shoulders, loosening up a little more.

"Hmph. Yeah, well, I still think you're losing your touch."

"I've lost nothing." They began to circle one another again. Ronon kept his body low to the ground as John flexed his hands. Ronon's hand flashed out, and Sheppard barely got his arm up in time to deflect it. The skin smarted where the Satedan had hit him.

"Really? You know, I saw Carl Masterson putting the moves on Jennifer the other day." The big man had been just about to kick John's shins, but he faltered momentarily and John used the opportunity to aim a hit at his stomach. The air left Ronan's lungs in a whuff, but he retaliated quickly, reaching out to grab John's arm. John twisted his wrist and snatched the back of Ronon's hand, using his other one to grab the Satedan's elbow in an 's' lock. Pulling the hand that held the elbow in towards him, Sheppard turned the wrist he held in his other hand and twisted the big man's arm into a goose hold. John held him there in triumph, where Ronon couldn't move without hurting himself further.

"See. You're losing it." John released him, pleased that he had got the upper hand for once.

"Who's this Carl Masterson?" Ronon's face and stance remained unperturbed.

"Why?" John grinned.

"Just wondering who you were talking about." Sheppard laughed.

"I'm sure you were. Don't worry. Keller didn't seem impressed." Ronon shrugged. As if he doesn't care, John thought. He enjoyed teasing Ronon on the budding romance between himself and Dr Keller that his friend refused to acknowledge. "But I know he's not the only person interested in the doctor. Better watch out. You might lose her to someone else."

"Looks like we have the same problem, then." That stopped John short.

"What do you mean?" The wariness in his voice was unmistakable.

"You lost her once."

"Who?" He didn't mean…. No. He wasn't that transparent- was he? No, Ronon was just trying to rattle him. Besides, he hadn't seen anyone flirting with Teyla. She was still mourning Kanaan, and far too busy with her son to be looking at anyone else. The whole base knew that. No one would be trying to…

"Hey, Sheppard. Strike a nerve?" John realized he had zoned out had not heard what his friend had been saying. John Ronon smirked, clapped him on the shoulder and turned to exit. As the door began to close behind him, John heard his say " I still got it."

John picked up his kit bag and exited the door on the opposite wall of the gym that Ronon had gone through. His relationship with Teyla was complicated. John had had many relationships in which both parties had understood that it was a casual thing on both sides. He had only had one relationship that had delved deep and made him feel, the way any relationship between himself and Teyla would be, and that had been with his ex-wife. It had nearly broken him.

John made his way down the hallway to the crew quarters. En route he saw one of the female members in Atlantis talking to Teyla. Torren was nestled in her arms, enjoying the attention he was getting from the two women as they doted over the small child.

She looked radiant as she stood there holding her child. There seemed to be a constant glow around her now. It followed where ever she went. He had always considered her the most beautiful woman he had ever met. He had had to revise that statement when he had first seen her hold her child, disheveled and exhausted and yet incredibly beautiful. She always looked like that now.

He looked down towards the child in her arms. Torren was a handsome baby, and he always enjoyed picking out the little details that reminded him of Teyla. As John watched them now, he began to notice the things that made his stomach clench. The little things that reminded him of Kanaan. That Torren was Kanaan's son. That Teyla had moved on.

John turned away.

A/N: The chapters will be much longer from now on and contain flashbacks to John's childhood and younger adult life. It will focus on John and why he finds it so difficult to confess to Teyla for awhile. There will also be Ronon/Keller. Thanks for reading.