Title: Lady X
Fandom: X/1999
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Too many...
Finished: 26/09/2001
Disclaimer: The copyrigthed items belong to their respective owners aka Clamp (Nanase Okhawa, Mokona Apapa, Mick Nekoi and Satsuki Igarashi) and whoever made Lady Marmalade... This fanfic is made for entertainment purposes only.
Nayru's Rants: Please ignore the fact that the DoH and DoE would rather kill eachother than co-operating on something. Which is what they're doing here... It's all for the love of the apples of their eyes... Well, maybe except Arashi.. *smirk*
No one knows how Soapland looks like, right? So, I'm writing in a big scene and karaoke machine, along with a restaurant...
This was inspired by Kerianne's fic, When the World Ends, and I seriously advise you to read that in stead of this piece of junk. I actually stole some of her lines too. Gomen nasai, Kerianne...
"Karen!" Arashi looked horrified. And who could blame her? Getting dressed up in one of Karen's outfits isn't exactly a piece of cake. Getting no response from the fire mistress, Arashi tried again. "Karen!" This time, the soapgirl raised her head. "Yes, Ara-chan?"
"Karen! I can't wear this!" The shrine maiden protested, stomping her foot on the floor, looking like a five year old.
"Why's that, Arashi?" Yuzuriha asked, skipping over and looking curiously at the two.
"This g-string is slipping up in my bum all the time!" Arashi said, fuming. She turned around and showed them.
"But," Karen said, hiding an amused smile. "it's supposed to do that, Arashi."
Yuzu meanwhile, looked herself over. "I think it's fun!" She exclaimed, shaking her behind, making the rabbit tail wobble. "We get to preform in Karen-sama's Soapland!"
"Fun is not the word." A voice behind her said. Yuzu bounced around, intending to protest in a cheerful way. She got, instead, the shock of her life. There stood Satsuki and Kanoe, Satsuki looking incredibly grumpy while Kanoe looked rather exited. "Aaaah!" Yuzu screamed. "Dragons of Earth!"
"It's OK." Karen said. This made Yuzu pop cat-ears, looking at Karen with a puzzled expression. "What did you say, Karen-sama?"
"Well..." Karen said rather hastily, because Arashi was glaring at the two, ready to draw her sword. "Since I was four girls short today and since I can't really ask Hinoto to dress up and work here for a night I had to turn elsewhere..."
"WHAT?" Yuzuriha and Arashi said in unison. Karen laughed nervously. They were all destracted by Kanoe's voice. "Ah, look Satsuki! Yuuto's here!"
"What?!" Satsuki exclaimed, rushing over to the scene carpet where Kanoe was peeking into the audience.
"Is there an ecco in here?" Yuzu asked Arashi, who shrugged. Karen looked even more nervous.
"Where?" Satsuki asked Kanoe, who pointed to a table. "There. In between Nataku and Kusanagi." Yuzuriha started. Deciding she was a little suspicious standing there wide-eyed, she bounced over to Kanoe and Satsuki, staring into the audience herself.
"Arashi! Sorata's here! And Aoki!" Karen tried to sneak down from the stage, but Arashi caught her. "Karen." Arashi said. "Please tell me you didn't have anything to do with this." The soapgirl laughed nervously again. "Er, no, of course I didn't! I would never invite Yuuto, Sorata and Kusanagi here to get you three to finally admit your feelings! Never! Oh, look, we're starting in five minutes, better go and indroduce us. And please be convinsing!" All this was said very fast and Karen managed to get away from Arashi's wrath, slipping out of her reach and hurrying off in the direction of the microphone.
Arashi sweatdropped, then sighed. "Well, girls, I guess we just have to get through this." She looked at Yuzu, Kanoe and Satsuki. "But I promise you, after all this is over, I'm gonna kill Karen. And if Sorata tries something, I'll kill him too."
Satsuki smirked. "Dragons of Heaven killing eachother. If you keep doing this, you'll get us unemployed." She looked at Karen through the carpet, parading in front of the men present, indroducing the first number. "After you kill her, I'll put her head in my room to remind me that she's really dead and won't do this to me again."
"Oh come on! It could be worse!" Yuzu exclaimed, and was joined by Kanoe who chimed in. "Yeah!" They were both shut up by the glares Satsuki and Arashi gave them. At that moment, they heard Karen's voice. "Please welcome Lady X!"
"Oh god, here we go." Arashi sighed. "We're gonna give them a show they'll never forget." She smirked at her fellow ladies. "Come on."
Meanwhile in the audience...
"Who do you think invited us here?" Yuuto asked Kusanagi while going through the menu. He decided, finally, on lobster.
Kusanagi shrugged. "I dunno. You would think Kanoe, wouldn't you, judging by the outfits the girls are wearing. They'll show eventually, don't you think?"
"Yeah, I guess. I just wonder if we really should have brought them." Yuuto shot a glance at Seishirou, Fuuma and Nataku. Nataku was nagging Fuuma, saying "Daddy? Can't I play with the rabbits?", while Seishirou practicly had his tounge down the dark Kamui's throath. Fuuma looked, all in all, rather pleased.
"Well, they kinda invited themselves..." Kusanagi said, sighing. "Oh, look, it's starting." He pointed to the stage where Karen had taken the michrophone, introducing the first number. Yuuto frowned.
"Isn't she a Dragon of Heaven? The one with the ability to control fire?" Kusanagi nodded. At that moment, a cheerful voice behind them exclaimed. "Look Aoki! It's Karen!"
Recognising the voice, all of the harbingers turned their heads. There sat four of the seals, Kamui, Sorata, Aoki and Subaru. Seishirou's face broke into a grin as he spotted the omyounji. When Subaru noticed the Sakurazukamori, however, his eyes went wide and he tried to hide behind Sorata, whom was waving at Karen.
Karen had spotted him and winked back. She raised her voice, realising the harbingers and seals attention was lost, and introduced the first number.
"This first number" Karen's voice loomed out in the big hall. "consists of some friends of mine, including myself. We're all a part of a big event that's happening soon and I thought it would be fun to do something together before we all die." Murmers ran through the hall. All the dragons eyes widened. She couldn't be talking about...
"Please welcome Lady X!" Karen started to snap her fingers, singing in a low voice. "Where's all my soul sisters? Lemme hear y'all flow sistas." She was joined in by three more sopranos. "Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister."
Three girls came on the stage, all in rather...let's say...revealing outfits. The music started to play. The male dragons watched in horror as they realized the four females on the stage were their colleagues. "Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister."
Yuzu walked off the stage and over to Kusanagi who went wide eyed and casted nervous glances at his fellow harbingers. The inugami mistress started singing to Kusanagi, running her finger down his cheek. "He met Marmalade down in old Soapland, struttin' her stuff on the street. She said" She bent down and sang in his ear, slowly raising herself so that his face was faced with her breasts, ending with her placing herself on his lap. "Hello, hey Joe, you wanna give it a go-oh?"
Yuuto, Fuuma and Seishirou stared horrified at the couple, their mouths hanging open. Nataku tugged at Fuuma's shirt, but stopped when Kusanagi gave them all a small embaressed laugh, causing Yuzuriha on his lap to smirk. Now Nataku too stared horrified at the two, eyes bugged out.
Arashi, Satsuki and Karen started to sing along with the youngest seal, giving the crowd a little dance. "Giuchie giuchie ya ya da da Hey, hey, hey Giuchie giuchie ya ya here, here Mocca choca lata ya ya oh yeah" Satsuki walked over to Yuzuriha and dragged her up from Kusanagi's lap, giving Yuuto a small smirk. Yuzuriha just had time to sing her line before walking over to the rest of the singers. "Creole Lady Marmalade"
Karen winked at Aoki while singing her line. "What what, What what"
The girls voices sang in perfect unison as Yuzu placed herself between Karen and Arashi. "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" All having eye contact with their victims.
It became Satsuki's turn. She paraded over to Yuuto while singing her verse. "He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up Boy drank all that magnolia wine Oh her black satin sheet is where he started to freak yeah." Yuuto, as Kusanagi, was shocked when Satsuki placed herself behind him and ran a hand sexily down his chest.
The Dragons of Heaven behind them was beginning to think the four girls had clicked. Subaru was still keeping his eye on Seishirou, and Fuuma had managed to come over to their table and sit beside Kamui. Kamui was not pleased. A hand kept sneaking into his lap.
Once again, the three remaining female dragons started to sing along with Satsuki. "Giuchie giuchie ya ya da da da da da Giuchie giuchie ya ya here, oh yeah here ohooo yea yeah Mocca choca lata ya ya."
"Creole Lady Marmalade." Satsuki sang her last line in Yuuto's ear and ran her tounge up his cheek before returning to her original spot, singing along with Arashi, Karen and Yuzu. "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Ce soir, what what what? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"
Aoki smiled at the fire mistress as she started singing her verse. "Yeeiah, yeeiah, ugh.
We come through with the money in the garter belts.
Let 'em know we got their cake, straight out the gate.
We independent women, some mistake us for whores.
I'm sayin', 'Why spend mine, when I can spend yours?' "
Kamui, Subaru and Sorata stared at Karen then at Aoki (Kamui slapped Fuuma's hand which was starting to creep a little too low for Kamui's taste). Aoki looked at them puzzled. "What? I'm married!"
This caused his fellow seals to roll their eyes. And sure enough, Karen walked over to Aoki while singing. "Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry. I'm gonna keep playin' these cats out like Atari. Wearing high heel shoes, gettin' love from the Jews. Four bad-ass chicks from the Soapland." She landed on his lap, running her index finger down his cheek, his chest and beyond. "Hey sisters, soul sisters, better get that dough sisters. We drink wine with diamonds in the glass. By the case, the meaning of expensive taste. We wanna giuchie giuchie ya ya, mocca choca lata. Creole Lady Marmalade. One more time, c'mon."
Aoki was totally perplexed and exclaimed rather shocked. "Karen!" She just smirked at him and stood up, walking back to her spot between Satsuki and Yuzuriha. They all started singing. "Marmalade, Lady Marmalade. Marmalade"
Arashi smirked at Sorata as it became her turn. She jumped right into his lap, singing out her lines, getting back up from Satsuki when needed. "Hey, Hey, Heeeeeyyyy. Touch of her skin feelin' silky smooth hey. Color of café au lait, all right. Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried.
More (more), more (more), more." Sorata smiled at Arashi and said in a low sexy voice. "Does this mean you'll marry me, pretty lady?" She smirked and whispered. "No, and I'll kill you if you try something."
While Arashi had sung her lines, Satsuki had also jumped into her victims arms. She sang together with the shrine maiden. "Now he's back home doin' nine to five (Nine to five)."
Yuzuriha streached her arm towards Kusanagi. "Livin' the gray flannel life." At this point, they were a bit distracted at the fact that Fuuma had his tounge down Kamui's throath, while the Sakurazukamori had his own down the omyounji's. Arashi brought back the attention by arching towards Sorata, whispering out her next lines. "But when he turns off to sleep, memories creep. More (more), more (more), more."
The next lines were sung in unison as before. "Gitchie gitchie ya ya da da. Gitchie gitchie ya ya here. Mocca choca lata ya ya." Arashi took the next line, however, singing sexily in the monk's ear. "Creole Lady Marmalade."
Karen and Yuzu had both placed themselves behind their victims, each running their left hand down Kusanagi and Aoki's chest while singing with Satsuki and Arashi whom were both clamped to their own victims, pressing their faces down into their bossoms. Needless to say, both Sora and Yuuto were shocked by the ice princesses actions. "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?"
Yuzuriha took the next line, her mouth directed in Kusanagi's ear. "All my sisters, yeah."
As the inugami mistress, the shrine maiden, the cyber girl and the fire mistress left their victims, Kanoe came onto the stage. "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" There was an instrumental pause while the five females danced, then Kanoe spoke. "Arashi." Arashi responded by singing out her line. "Laaaaaddddeee-oooohhhhhh."
Kanoe smirked at the eye bugged, wide mouthed dragons. "Satsuki." The cyber girl sang as Arashi had done. "Laaaaaaadddddeeeee, Marmalade."
"Karen."
"Hey, hey, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh"
"Yuzu."
"Oh, oh, ohhhhhhhh Marmalade."
"Rock-weiler baby"
Satsuki took the next phrase, followed by Kanoe and Arashi. "Baby"
"Soapland"
"Ooh, ohhhh Marmalade"
The inugami mistress sang out before Kanoe took her last line. "Da doot da doot"
"Middeameanor here"
The four dragons stood in front of their chosen ones, singing out their last line in perfect unison. "Creole Lady Marmalade, Yes-a!"
In the audience five minutes later...
Kamui's struggled to get the dark Kamui off himself, with no luck.
Subaru attemted the same with Seishirou. The assasain broke his kiss and pouted. "Subaru-kun? Don't you love me anymore?" When Subaru didn't answer, Seishirou sighed before locking his lips once again with Subaru's.
Kusanagi smiled at Yuzuriha. "You have a beautiful voice, missy." Yuzu smiled at the military man and imitated Seishirou's action a moment before.
Sora smirked at Arashi. "A kiss, pretty lady?" Arashi replied with slapping him. "Aw, I'm hurt. After that song, I thought you cared about me." Arashi thought about it for a moment. Maybe he deserved a kiss. He definitly hadn't tried anything during the song. "OK, but just one." She said and Sorata grinned before dipping her over and kissing her full on the lips.
Satsuki managed to avoid any embaressing questions with kissing Yuuto at once. Let's just say he didn't object.
Karen sat on Aoki's lap while looking around at her friends and enemies. "I think it worked out pretty well, didn't you?" She asked Aoki. He smiled. "Yes. Karen?" The redhead turned her head towards him. "Want me to get off?" Aoki shook his head and kissed her. She leaned in.
Nataku watched the kissing couples. He wondered why they were doing this. Was it some kind of ritual? He noticed Kanoe long before she said his name. "What is it, Kanoe?" He asked, turning around and staring at the dreamgazer. "I'm lonely..." She said, and Nataku knew just too well what that tone meant. She's heard her use it on Yuuto and Fuuma enough to know. His eyes went wide and he backed away. "No." He said firmly. "No." Kanoe pouted. "Aw, why not?"
Nataku did all he could do. He ran.
~Owari~