AN: I have no excuse. May I present: the first and only (as far as I know, anyway) Harry Potter/Soul Eater crossover on FFnet. May God have mercy on my soul.

Timeline: AU after HP book six; any random time in SE universe.

Disclaimer: Trust me, I'd be lynched if I owned HP or SE. This fic should demonstrate that. And yes, before anyone asks, Truth or Consequences is a real town in New Mexico.

Just A Small Misunderstanding

"Face it, Hermione," Ron said, caught between amusement and gloom. "We are completely lost."

"No, no, I'm sure we're… just…"

Harry dryly asked, "So, this is what Las Vegas looks like, then?"

Hermione scowled at her map. Glared around her, then looked at the map again. "Well… maybe we are just… a little lost."

Ron threw up his hands, satisfied. "Thank Merlin, she finally acknowledges it. Let's ask directions, then. Someone should be able to tell us where we are, or let us use the floo."

Harry glanced around, taking full note of the creepy surroundings and people who stared at them, before quickly scuttling away in a different direction. They seemed a bit spooked by their wizarding clothing, but they had been sure that the town wasn't muggle. Perhaps they should've put on regular clothes anyway, despite the light drizzle. Harry shrugged to himself—the cloaks and pointy hats would have to do until the weather got better. Sometimes he wished that they had planned better before running off to hunt down Voldemort's horcruxes. Who knew it rained in the desert, anyway?

Ahead of them, two teenagers were striding towards them purposefully. Dusk was starting to fall, making it hard to distinguish features, though that didn't stop Ron, who seemed encouraged that someone was coming towards them, instead of running away. "Let's ask them. Hey," he called. "Can you tell us where we are?"

The two stopped a few feet away, and gave each other puzzled glances, before looking back at them. Harry absently noted that one was a girl wearing a school uniform not very different from theirs and a long coat, her blonde hair in pigtails. The other was a slouching, sneering boy with pale hair. If it wasn't for the untamable, fluffy style of that hair, Harry would have bristled at the similarities to his old school nemesis.

The girl was the one who answered. "This is Death City." Her right hand twitched, as though wanting to grab something.

"What is it with Americans and their weird names, huh?" Ron started to rant. He seemed a bit upset at more strangeness this late in the day. Hermione just rolled her eyes. "First was that little place, also in a Merlin-forsaken desert, called… what was it…"

"Truth or Consequences," Harry supplied helpfully. Hermione seemed to be giving the white-haired boy weird looks.

"Yeah, that. First we get stuck there for three days. Three days! Because their bus system was delayed, what is wrong with these people? Three--"

"Yes, we heard you the first time, Ron." Hermione's gaze never left the two newcomers, who seemed to be staring back in bemusement. "Could you tell us how far we are from Las Vegas? I'm pretty sure Death City isn't on my map."

"Of course it isn't," said the girl, with an odd determination in her eyes. She seemed a bit too focused on Hermione's hat, in Harry's opinion. Maybe she liked it?

"What are you going to do in Las Vegas?" This was the most interest that the boy had shown in the conversation yet. He seemed to be leering at Hermione.

"We're looking for something," Harry offered.

That made the boy snicker, and mutter something that Harry didn't catch. The girl next to him did, though, and blushed, smacking him over the head with a book. Harry dutifully labeled them 'Pervert' and 'Nerd' in his head.

"Knowing our luck, it's probably something terribly powerful and magical that's going to decide the fate of the world," Nerd grumbled.

Ron gaped at her. She caught the look. "Oh for the love of… why is it always us?"

Harry felt a sudden kinship with Nerd. He fully understood her distress.

"Let me guess," the girl sized them up, once again looking closely at their hats. "You're witches."

Hermione raised a hand, a bit relieved. "Witch, actually. They're boys," she gestured towards Ron and Harry. "Could we use your floo?"

The girl seemed to tense up, then looked puzzled, muttering something about "bathrooms?" under her breath. Harry, however, was watching the boy, who seemed to be staring almost hungrily at Hermione. And… was he drooling? Harry finally caught on to what Hermione had been staring at for the past few minutes.

He swore the boy had sharp teeth, which a gibbering part of his mind pointed out looked exactly like a shark's. Then the boy tilted his head sharply, and the nearest streetlight glinted off his red eyes.

Harry was backpedaling, along with Ron and Hermione, before he even realized he was moving. However, none of them could manage to take their eyes off the boy in front of them, who was raising his arm towards the girl. She suddenly seemed a lot scarier than the 'Nerd' label Harry had given her.

"Come on, Maka," the boy bared his teeth in an even wider grin. "I haven't had dinner yet."

Harry had a really bad feeling about this.

End.

Omake 1:

Soul looked at Hermione a bit doubtfully. "I dunno…"

Maka growled, "What, so now you're a picky eater? When did that happen?"

Soul sneered in her direction, affronted. "When I ate a cat, that's when."

Ron stared at the weird teenager. "You ate a cat? Dude, why?"

"I wonder that myself, sometimes."

Omake 2 (aka 'Before Anyone Asks'):

"Um," Harry spoke up. "Why are we looking for horcruxes in Las Vegas? Why would Voldemort put one there?"

Hermione started muttering about ley lines and temporal vortexes and the migration of wormholes.

"Gee, thanks, Harry." Ron grumbled.