Miranda stormed into the bedroom she shared with her wife. She kicked her shoes off and untucked her white shirt from her black pencil skirt, before quickly taking it off a long with the white camisole she wore for modesty, next came the skirt and tights. She moved in quick long strides to the bedside cabinet on Andrea's side where she removed the sharpener blade she knew was hiding there. Her young wife stared at her, she threw the blade at the brunette.
"Miranda?"
She thrust her arm in to the young woman's face.
"Do it"
"What?" Breathed the young writer
"Go on, you like blood so much then do it. Cut me. Lord knows every time you do it to yourself you may as well be doing it to me"
"Mira-"Andrea choked on her tears
"What? I thought you needed release, I thought you needed to do it, please do it, do it because I'd rather you hurt me than yourself" She grabbed the blade off the bed covers where it had landed and made a thin 2 centimetre graze across her forearm. Andrea couldn't look. "I said do it!" she yelled and forced the blade into her young wife's hand and drew the hand to her forearm. Andy pulled her am away and tried not to vomit.
"I can't hurt you, I can't" She tried to move to the other side of the bed and get off, get away from whatever this was. But the editor grabbed her wrists and forced her to look in the eyes.
"Why not?"
"It would hurt to see you in pain to-"
The elder of the two let go and sat on the bed. She looked at the mark she had made on her forearm.
"Exactly." The white haired woman swallowed. "I need a promise from you"
"Yes?"
"I need you to tell me every time you feel like cutting"
"Why?"
"Because I want to be there, to ensure you're ok, to ensure that I won't lose you even more of you"
"Miranda –"
"NO! You will do this! You will! I will put up with everything you need, just to do this for me"
"Ok, ok" soothed Andrea "I'll tell you, I promise Shh"
The white haired woman began to weep
"Come, let's sleep" she tucked the older woman under the covers and turned off the light before rolling behind her to hold and soothe her
"I can't take this not knowing, I can't handle thinking I could be downstairs reading a book, and you could be up here bleeding out, it's too much Andrea, too much"
"Ok, ok, I will tell you every time ok?"
"I want to watch"
"Alright, but it can get gruesome"
"I don't care, just –"
"It's all right, I'll tell you, I promise"