I do not own Torchwood or any of the connected books, though I do quote Virus by James Moran in this particular story.
Special shout out to boredsince1894 for beta-ing. As always, I couldn't have done what I have done this week without her.
Thank you and enjoy :)
"'That time we came into your office, and we'd switched clothes just to make you laugh. Gwen was in my suit, Tosh was in scrubs, and me and Owen were wearing Gwen and Tosh's clothes. You laughed so hard, the coffee came out of your nose. Then you made me wear…' He glanced over at Gwen and Rhys, slightly self-conscious. 'Made me wear it again the next night'"
Virus by James Moran (Consequences)
Ianto couldn't control the nervous energy that was running up and down his spine. He truly wished he hadn't shown up at his usual early time. It had been hard enough avoiding Jack all morning, let alone waiting for the rest of his team to arrive.
They had planned this only a day ago. Like most plans in the Torchwood Hub, Gwen had started it and Owen had ran with it. It was simple and hilarious, enough to make Jack laugh for the next week. As soon as everyone got there, they'd switch clothing. There wasn't much harm there, so long as the girls managed to dress in large enough clothing. Ianto hoped for Owen's sake that Gwen wouldn't wear her tight jeans.
He heard the cog door sound and jumped from his seat, watching to see who made their way into the room. Gwen met his eyes and grinned knowingly. She winked at him and went to her seat without a word, joining him in waiting for the other two.
By the time Toshiko arrived, only ten minutes later, both were fidgeting restlessly in their seats, ready to go on without them. She paused in the doorway, eying both of them, obviously amused at how excited they were. She fought to keep the smile off her face and sat at her station. She booted up her computer then stared at it, not even trying to begin her work for the day. She adjusted her dress for something to do.
After what seemed like hours later, and what really was only thirty minutes, Owen finally arrived. He strode past the cog door as soon as it was open enough to admit him. He only looked up as he was halfway up the short steps leading to the main work area. He stopped in his tracks as he realized the three sets of eyes staring intently at him. Suddenly the plan dawned on him as the memory cut through the haze of his sleep addled mind. He only hoped the shirt he had worn that day was clean.
Ianto was the first to stand. He pressed a finger to his lips and pointed towards the showers. He watched them all quietly leave the room before heading to the coffee machine, buying them all some time. He made Jack's favorite blend and delivered it silently. Jack looked up from the paperwork the younger man had forced upon him that morning. He pressed a strong hand to the back of his neck and groaned. Ianto watched the stretch and wondered exactly how much time he could get away with buying his team members. He tore his thoughts away from the dangerous place it was headed and smiled at the older man in front of him.
"Back to work, captain." He demanded and slunk from the room slowly, knowing his lover was watching. As soon as he was out of the room, however, he jolted into motion, almost jogging towards the showers.
He reached the room and threw open the doors. Owen was already wearing Gwen's low cut blouse and leather jacket. He was sliding the jeans up his legs as he walked in. Luckily, Gwen hadn't brought her tightest trousers, but it still took adjusting in order for him to zip them up.
Tosh was wearing all of Owen's clothing already, and was fighting to keep both the trousers and sleeves up. She was practically swimming in his doctor's coat and she gave the archivist a meek smile as he peeked into the room.
"Is that Ianto?" He heard Gwen's voice from behind the curtain, hidden with nothing to wear.
"Yep." He called back to her, sliding into the stall adjacent to hers. He found Tosh's clothes already folded neatly on the bench, and cursed as he remembered what she'd worn that day.
"Well hurry up, will you? I'm bloody freezing." Gwen called over their connecting walls.
"Sorry, dear." He joked, slipping his tie from its knot. He managed to get all of his clothes off in record timing. He folded them quickly and called over Tosh to hand them between cubicles.
"Really?" Gwen asked as she grabbed at the fabric, desperate to get it on. "You couldn't just throw it over the top?"
"No way. I can't reach up that high to clean and that's an expensive suit." He pulled Tosh's meager clothing over his head, regretting agreeing to the plan.
"Drama Queen." He heard her mutter. He rolled his eyes. He turned his gaze over to the bench, hoping that he had missed the presence of more layers, but still found none. He heard the jingle of his belt as Gwen tugged on his trousers.
He took as deep a breath as he could muster and slid the curtain over. He shuffled out and tried to ignore Owen's cackles.
"What?" Gwen asked from the confines of his dressing room. "What's so funny?"
By the time she had gotten the rest of the suit on and pushed her way into the main locker room, Ianto's face had gone completely red. She covered her mouth to muffle all the laughter she could.
"God, Tosh, did you really have to wear a dress today?" Ianto said pulling at the hem, just barely managing to cover his arse. He felt the air drift up under the garment, and felt utterly naked.
"I didn't want you to stretch out my trousers." She said in reply, cuffing the sleeves of the lab coat. Gwen shuffled about and adjusted the tie, which was askew and badly done. In trying to avoid everyone's eyes, Ianto noticed and moved to help her. Begrudgingly he lifted his arms from his sides to help her, pulling it off in one smooth movement. Gwen watched him lay it flat over her neck and begin to tie it. Her face grew pink and hot as she stared up at his. She tore her eyes down to avoid his, but only met a peak of chest hair from the low-cut dress.
When he was finished he stepped away and took a quick look at all of them. They looked ridiculous.
"This had better be worth it." Ianto muttered and Owen nodded solemnly next to him. The novelty of the office boy had worn off once the shorter man remembered he was in women's clothing, too. Granted, Gwen was much closer to his size than Ianto was Tosh's.
"Everybody ready?" Tosh said. They all broke away from where their feet were planted firmly on the ground.
The group walked together in unison. Their formation stopped just short of Jack's door to gather courage to take the last step into his office.
"You know, Ianto," They heard Jack shout from his desk, not bothering to look up, "It's pretty obvious you're keeping something from me." He picked up his coffee and took a long sip from it, expecting his lover to enter the room. All four of them walked in and Jack snorted into his cup, spewing coffee over his papers but not taking an eye off his team. The laughter infected them all and soon they were all hysterical.
Jack composed himself and lifted himself from behind his desk, wiping the excess coffee off of his face.
"Have I ever told you how perfect you all are?" He asked them.
"Like you needed to." Owen remarked, settling his hands on his hips. "Though it is appreciated."
"So not the right cut for you, Owen." Jack retorted, leaving the shorter man to give a rude gesture.
Finally he saw what Ianto was wearing, hidden behind Gwen and Tosh. His pupils dilated and made everyone in the room look between the hypnotized man and his captor. Though Ianto was feeling much more comfortable now than when he first emerged from his changing room, he was still flushed light red. It was a perfect accent to the light purple of the dress he wore. It made Jack want to stride forward, pin him to the wall, and let him never leave so he could stare at him forever.
Sure, it wasn't particularly flattering on the straight lines of his manly physique, but there was something sexy in the novelty of it. Seeing the thin garment and the way it flowed over him, stopping mid-thigh was titillating. It would be so easy to tear it off of him, not like the layers he usually wore.
"I think that's our cue to leave." Gwen coughed awkwardly, wanting out of the newly steamy atmosphere.
"Honestly, Harkness, and I thought you were sick already." Owen accused. Jack tore his eyes away only to roll them before settling back to where they were comfortable.
"Nothing wrong with appreciating beauty." He winked at Ianto who grinned. "Take your cue. Leave." Owen scoffed and fled the office, leaving only Tosh standing awkwardly between them.
"Right, Tosh, I'll get this back to you after I've washed it." Ianto assured the petite woman, who only shuddered.
"Keep it. It was my least favorite, anyway." She called as she hurried out, sure to close the door behind her. The archivist shrugged and Jack approached him, prowling ever nearer.
"You know you're going to have to re-do all that paperwork." Ianto casually mentioned, beckoning over to the coffee stained desk.
"Or what?" His captain challenged.
"I'll have to punish you."
"Oh, I think I'm willing to take my chances."
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