Yours, Mine, Ours (Never To Be)
The idea that the human heart could physically break had been laughable to Felicity. She understood biology too well to accept such clichés, but living through the heartbreak of Oliver's lies had her questioning that long held belief. Even when she thought Cooper was dead she hadn't felt as broken as she did now. Her world, the life she had been building for herself had crumble with knowledge that after all they had been through Oliver still did not believe in them. But the most wrenching realization was that he never would.
She had stormed blindly out of the loft the night before after she confronted him with the truth he had been hiding. His explanation rang false in her ears - Samantha made him. It was laughable, no one could make Oliver Queen do anything he wasn't willing to do. He made a choice and lied to her for weeks.
There had been a niggling sense of her own white lie to him about helping the team while they were away. Lies like most things in life had degrees to them; hers had been minuscule while Oliver's had been a nuclear bomb that imploded their future.
He should have told her, as confused and worried as he'd been, she would have stood by him and played none the wiser for Samantha. That is what a good partner would have done and she had told him when they returned home from Central City that is what she wanted to be. What she thought she had in return from him. But she had been wrong.
So very wrong.
Felicity didn't know what possessed her to get on the 5 a.m. train to Central City, but she stewed during her journey, working herself up as she went over the choice words she wanted to impart on Samantha. It was that scattered thought process swing wildly from anger to sadness that had her texting her displeasure (and apparently her intentions) to Barry.
She had just paid and exited the cab she rode from the train station to the quaint house in suburbs of Central City, intent on storming the porch and giving Samantha a piece of mind, when Barry swooped in and super-speeded her away. Their argument had been loud and long, chasing the rest of his team from S.T.A.R. Labs. When her rage finally subsided Felicity collapsed in tears in his arms. Barry Allen, her perfectly perfect match, a man she loved like a brother. Her life would have been so much easier if her affection for him hadn't melted from sweet possibility to sibling regard.
They had both been distracted by her emotional state that they hadn't realized until too late the precarious position they left themselves in. Then again neither of them would have seen the handsome face of Oliver Queen as a threat.
It took all of five seconds of Oliver's - or rather Earth 2's Al Sah-Him's - cold detached gaze appraising them for Felicity to realize that man before them was not her Oliver.
While her Oliver may have broken her heart and shattered her allusions he never would have attacked her and Barry. And for as skilled as he was, her Oliver was not as ruthless and relentless.
A machine.
No that wasn't right. That was not who Oliver was meant to be on any Earth.
Around her the world blurred as Barry fought with Oliver's evil doppelganger, trying his best not to hurt him. Al Sah-Him, however, had no such quibble and aimed where he could do the most damage.
Felicity barely felt the sting of the arrow piercing her chest and embedding itself in her lung. She exhaled a painful wheeze and called out for the one person she wanted no matter how messed up things were between them, "Oliver."
Her knees gave out and she was falling, but Barry caught her before she hit the floor, scooping her gently into his arms. "Felicity." She could hear the worry in his voice as he took in the blood oozing from her wound, but all she could see was Oliver. Not her Oliver, the man she wanted and one she now knew she would continue love in spite of everything, but the dark reverse he could have been without John's friendship and guidance and her belief and love.
In any world that fate was unacceptable to her. He needed to be saved.
Though speaking was difficult she pushed out the words, "It's okay. I forgive you Oliver." He looked at her confounded and torn and she smiled because that was a look she was familiar with, it made her heart swell and it didn't matter anymore that he wasn't her Oliver.
He was Oliver Queen, and on any Earth she loved him, she told him as much before she lost consciousness.
It brought self-loathing to a whole new level. Oliver stood before the mirror image of himself and wanted to pound the man he saw into dust. Felicity, the woman who had given his life meaning and purpose, laid near death in the hospital because of him.
Of them.
He had broken her heart, damaged her soul and in chasing from their home to Central City left her vulnerable to his darker half. That man had physically harmed her. His hands had inflicted bodily harm on the kindest, most brilliant and beautiful inside and out human being he had ever known.
He had sworn once to John that they would protect her, but it had never occurred to Oliver that the person who was in danger of hurting her most was him.
He was supposed to her protector, be her safe place but he had only managed to lay waste to what he loved and treasured most.
The hatred he saw in the eyes of those around him did not bother him. Al Sah-Him was used to such looks, along with fear and respect, so being on the receiving end of those emotions did not unsettle him in the least. What did haunt him was soft robin's egg blue eyes shining with love fading to dull lifelessness. Heartfelt words of forgiveness and love echoing in his mind. A name ... Felicity.
When he closed his eyes he saw her bright blonde hair and the red of her blood seeping across her chest, and love.
His but not and yet he could not help but yearn for it, for her, for felicity.