Hey! This is for Maristela Freesia's 100 Theme Challenge. The first one: Love. Enjoy! Review at the end!
I sat there, blind, only saying what I would to survive. None of it was real. None of it really counted. He thought it was real. To him, it all was real. I know he loved me. At least I do now; I paid the price for it when I told him it was all a ploy.
If I could do it again, I would never tell him that it wasn't real. He doesn't deserve that pain. But could I do it? Could I live with him thinking I love him but with me knowing that I didn't? I tell myself that I could make myself love him, convince myself that I need him. And I did. But not because I loved him; I needed him so I could live and go home. Alive. But I didn't need him in the way that he needed me.
But which is better? To let him live with the pain of knowing that I didn't, never really did love him; or to let him live thinking that I did?
Would I be able to live that lie? Or would I eventually give in? I can't decide. I can't. I don't love him now; I don't know if I will be able to. I don't know if I have the capability of love anymore, after what I have gone through.
He loved me. I wish I could love him back for what he did.
My name is Katniss Everdeen. I let a boy sacrifice everything but his life so I could live. I knew that I couldn't let him die. But I couldn't let him live either. I can live without love; he can't.