Warnings: SI-OC parody with it's shenanigans. Expect randomness and general insanity. One-shot

It was a sound theory, but the control needed to make such an achievement is downright ridiculous. Luckily, ever since I can remember, I can feel the energy running under my skin through my body, and how much flows naturally. With some effort, I can redirect some of it to a particular point, which seems to be the opening to almost everything needed to be on the job.

Sure, it isn't the most pleasant experience being able to feel the life-sustaining energy this world appears to have almost everywhere, mostly because it is a constant sensation of being pinched with nails from the inside-out, in the best case it's incredibly distracting but most times it's just extremely annoying.

Then again, from my understanding, being able to pinpoint how much chakra is used is almost as important, if not more, than how much of it one has naturally, and I believe having that attribute outweighs the annoyance.

Besides, I always end up accustomed to physical pain, so it will be fine if I leave it alone, possibly even disappears. Maybe.

I sat down on the small clearing close to the training grounds, grabbed a leaf from the ground and brought it close to my face as I stared at it. Supposedly, making it stick with only chakra was a fairly simple exercise that every academy student could do by age ten. Surely it wouldn't be difficult? I mean, from a logical point of view, it's a ridiculous prospect, but the mechanics in which this world works with are ridiculous. So, with the leaf in my hand I channelled a bit more chakra than what naturally flows to my fingers.

The leaf fell the moment I stopped the pressure with my fingers. Well, in the first try I shouldn't be surprised it didn't work, so I picked the leaf and tried again.

It seems the instructions I overheard the teachers giving to the students in the academy's training ground were extremely vague on purpose, because even after an hour and a half of trying different methods and from different angles, I didn't make even the slightest hint of progress, and I felt I was missing something. I think the leaf fell even faster than before with each try.

I went through every single instruction I remembered, trying to understand what was I doing wrong o what I was not doing, while my hand ached from all the power I channelled to it. In hindsight, for an untrained kid as I was, I suppose it shouldn't have been surprising that I couldn't do it; and I understood that fact.

I took a long breath, while staring at the offensive piece of nature with enough force that it should have made a hole through the thing.

"Stupid useless freaking... AGH!" Well, I said I understood the fact, not that I took it well.

I threw my arm to the side to get rid of the offending leaf (I swore it was mocking me, believe me), and in the moment the thing left my grasp, I briefly lost control of all the chakra I fuelled to my hand. I felt how it exited my body through the tip of my fingers. The dull ache disappeared but a sharp pain took its place, as the leaf that I had just thrown got obliterated in mid-air by seemingly nothing.

I cursed for what felt half a second afterwards, before feeling the kickback of losing all that that chakra at once. It probably wasn't really much I spent in that dumb moment of stupidity, but being a kid meant I really didn't have plenty to spare.

At least, it clicked in my head what was I not doing, before the strain of almost two hours of training hit me all at once leaving me unconscious.

Maybe that project will have to wait until I had more in the way of chakra reserves, but meanwhile I can perfect the theories behind it until then. If I wake up.

It seems the reason I didn't wake up exhausted across the field where I dropped was because the little dumb thing I did before was strong enough to alert some sensor that was in the area. From the looks of it, they originally thought a fight started there, and when they found a pre-academy kid in the ground with a bloodied hand (and a few trees smashed to splinters), the first thing they assumed was that an enemy infiltrated the village, and they tightened security looking for a hostile or possibly another corpse. A bit extreme in my perspective, but this is a culture of subterfuge and assassination, plus we are still in the middle of a war. So I unnecessarily made the village get even jumpier.

Oops?

Before long they figured I wasn't someone important (ehem orphan ehem), so the first things I saw when I woke up were my right hand in so many bandages I couldn't lift my arm, and some dude asking what happened, if I saw anyone strange and fought.

"I was practicing" Was my ever innocent answer. Yeah, for some reason he didn't look like he believed me. Hey, I was just some kid, what did they think, that I was the infiltrator?

But going by the lack of restraints and the fact that there was only one other person I could see, probably not.

Well, looking better at him I realized he was a chuunin, so there was some precaution.

He was about to say something again, before the hospital room's door opened with a bang. The person who entered the room was a young adult woman with blonde hair, and a pair of terrifying brown eyes.

Terrifying mostly by the expression she wore on her face, she just gave a glance to the chuunin in the room to dismiss him, so she was a superior officer. Now I was starting to sweat. What would need someone important in the room I was in?

She just kept staring at me with a slightly angry face, if I read her expression right, and I had to look down from the pressure. Finally, after what felt an eternity, she started talking.

"I know what you were trying to do there." She stated as her gaze directed to my arm.

I was just confused. What, was it really that bad to have been practicing the leaf exercise with no supervision? Or was it bad to have some pre-academy kid trying to do it? My confusion was reflected in my expression, it seems, and her answer was lifting a brow. Then she continued

"I know those kinds of injuries; I had to heal myself plenty of times before I could do it without hurting my arm, back then when I was younger."…

Was it really that dangerous the leaf exercise? It seemed so harmless! Well, at least my respect to the academy and their teachers grow just a bit, because if it was really that dangerous and students could do it fairly easily, seemed the system was working. Sort of. It still felt wrong to have kids learning the arts of killing.

"I didn't know it was that dangerous" was my honest response. For some reason, her answer was to lift the other brow.

"Really, a technique I use to flatten mountains and destroy enemy formations, and you didn't know it was dangerous?"

Wow. The things you could do by sticking a leaf to your hand with only energy. I almost stopped to be sceptical of the whole magic-thingies ninjas could do; if they say they can do it, they probably can.

But really, flatten mountains with a leaf in your hand?

"I just overhead academy teachers giving instructions to students about this 'technique', and I tried it because it seemed easy enough"

Her expression changed to shocked for a second and then to incredulous. She just kept looking at me like that for a solid minute, not saying anything. I didn't say anything either, because I really didn't know what to say. I just tried to move uncomfortably, to find that my body was thoroughly numb.

Then, against common reason of not talking to a superior without being asked to, continued my explanation, if only to make some noise in the really really awkward silence.

"I mean, it seemed pretty simple, just pick a leaf and stick it in your hand, I really didn't know that it was so dangerous"

In that moment, her expression changed again, now just blank, and rotated her head forty five degrees to one side in a very slow motion.

I really don't know what's going on anymore. Maybe they were bored and confusing children is their favourite hobby? Then she started again, carefully maintaining the blank look in her face.

"The leaf exercise?" she said uncertainly, really slowly.

"Um, yes? It's what we were talking about, right?" Was my thoughtless response, because really, what else?

She just kept staring afterwards.

A/N: I had this thing collecting virtual dust for a year now, and found it after I lose track of chapters for another story. I thought why the hell not and just uploaded it. At the time I was very into some SI's out there, and this is a random scene that I thought of.