Nick couldn't stand to see the kid so hurt, especially when he had been the one to cause it, so he was upstairs, pacing and regrettably knocking glassware on the floor all while cursing loudly to himself at himself.
He hated doing this to the boy. It was dreadful watching just that look on the glowing face slowly dissolve into a pale appearance with the most upset, but large, eyes anyone can see. Nick knew about Ellis' past. The nights of having to run for his life from his own father, trying to pull the countless amount of little tablets from his mother's hand, and the time he had failed to keep his own father from killing his older brother.
Ellis had told him all of these horrific and traumatic events. He trusted Nick with it. However the boy had forgotten one pejorative reason not to trust the gambler in general.
He used everyone's weaknesses against themselves.
He noticed not only did El's eyes fill with tears, but they also pulled back all the past pain from his life into one agonized shadow underneath his irises. Nick had done this to him over and over again, each time the shadow gets bigger and bigger.
The conman had come home that night angered by his failed attempt to con an accountant with great math skills, but no common sense. The guy knew how to throw a monster truck of a punch though.
He didn't know why he said what he said. He just knew he was haunted by the reason he didn't even know.
It started with Ellis tending to his cut forehead. The kid pled on his knees for Nick to give up his conning. That he would end up getting hurt or killed by some insane stranger. Once he had reminded the gambler about his brother, he had enough.
"Shut it Ellis. Your brother is dead and I'm not, so shut the hell up and don't fucking bother worrying about me."
"Nick…how could you say that? Ah-I love you, so I have to worry 'bout you." Even though the older man had brought up his past, it didn't faze him. Instead he smiled a gentle, lopsided smile and lifted his hand to Nick's stiff jaw.
Nick had flinched away, his anger rousing further.
"You're a fucking idiot you know that?" His smoky green eyes had narrowed at Ellis a way that was so foreign to the southerner that he had actually balked back.
Ellis didn't need to ask 'why' for Nick to continue. In fact the gambler had decided that he was going to just ruinEllis. No interruptions.
"Who the fuck are you to tell me what's safe? You think I give a shit about if your scared? You think I care about you alone and worried? Sometimes I think that your dad had hit you a little too hard with that chair. Or maybe not hard enough."
One memory that replayed itself in every jerk in his sleep was when El's dad had become so angry with him for coming home late. He picked up his mother's rocking chair and impaled fourteen-year-old Ellis in his shoulder blades. They had left large spikes of wooden splinters in his back that became infected after his father refused for him to take them out.
The young boy had tried removing them, but his father had only brought the broken chair leg to his head and face harder than the other three times he had.
Ellis' eyes were overcome with the black hole that dampened the joyful blue with tears. The boy had turned his head away, so Nick could only see his shoulders heave in synch with the sobs that tormented through his scarred body.
Oh how Nick wanted to apologize, say he was sorry and grovel at his feet for forgiveness. To just wrap him in a reassuring embrace in his time of need. But no. He had to prove to himself he was still 'Nick'. The same guy that took anyone'sweaknesses and used them against themselves.
The rest had been a loud blur of his memory. He just remembered the shouting, crying, the gigantic void that had produced globs and globs of self-loathing turmoil inside him.
Later that night he had begun to realize the kid had stopped crying in the basement. He had moved from the kitchen counter and with a hesitant touch of the door knob, he had snuck his way to the basement floor.
Ellis had been on an old worn out maroon couch, a phone to his ear. Tears still dribbled down in single drops rather than in rivulets. He was even laughing using more breaths than normally.
"Y'know Jonathan ah think it-it'll be okay"
There was a pause, he strained to listen to the phone, but it was too far. He could only see the boy's facial expression change to whatever this man was saying. He had quirked his lips to the side and his eyes stared at the floor thoughtfully.
"Ah dunno Jon, Ah know that your more than capable of it n' all, s'just that Nick would never ever want to come up tah Gotham 'specially to be counseled on our uh relationship."
Nick's eyebrows furrowed, he was talking to a therapist? Did this fight really have that much of an effect on him?
When he noticed Ellis close his eyes tightly then cautiously open them, more tears spilling out, he knew the other man had said something that made Ellis realize a horrible perspective to their relationship.
"O-Oh. Ah c-can try tah ask him then. But tha's the thing!" His low tone had elevated to a normal indoor voice before he had lowered it again. "He…he don't care none for anything ah say to help us." The steady voice pitched into a high croak and it was followed by only more wheeps.
Nick cared…he cared about Ellis, he just didn't want Ellis to care about him. It suddenly made itself clear that Ellis was afraid of watching this relationship crumble at the hands of his lover. He wanted to try, but Nick was too stubborn to pick up the pieces. He only made everything worst, for his own selfish label.
Nick's eyes looked down, unable to stare at his lover or even be in his shattering presence as he broke down piece by piece, he climbed the stairs and went to their bed.
That night Ellis was reluctant about asking to go to Gotham together. One thing that had been highlighted was that he had found out that Jonathan Keeney was the kid's child hood friend and just so happen to major in phycology.
He remembered some of the amusing stories including the man, but nothing more. They also decided on leaving immediately when they woke up.
So in conclusion the only reason Nick was walking through the pinching cold fall air to a shady seven story apartment complex in a shady city is because of Ellis. He knew that nothing, absolutely nothing is going to come of this though. Except for more guilt and more tears. Wonderful.
They had been silent the whole walk, El only adding in a word or two about things he had seen. The entrance of the complex was no warmer than the outside and silently the two filed into the lift and Nick let Ellis press the sixth button. There was a little ding and the doors shut.
Thankfully so the hallway had an actual heater, it was just oddly empty and dank. They had found Jonathan's door and again Nick let Ellis rap on the door several times.
There was no shuffle from the other side for several seconds, then a slow thump of feet had alerted their backs to straighten in posture. The lock jiggled on the other side and the door and opened to unveil Jonathan Keeney.
A raven haired, glasses wearing, blue eyed frail man. He was tall, taller than Nick and Ellis, but it only thinned out his structure. He wore an oddly casual brown suit that gave an illusion of meat on his bones. Nick's mind popped with one word. Nerd. He was a total nerd and someone so unlikely to hang out with the wild southerner.
"Ellis, very pleasant to see you." His voice had a professional tone to it, he pulled his hand in front of him, El's smile wide compared to his polite one and instead of shaking his hand as prompted he pulled the fragile man into bear hug.
"Jon! S'good to see you too, man!" He pulled away and stepped beside Nick's side once more.
Jonathan fixed his glasses, his smile tensing tightly to not fall. He looked at the both of them. "Yes well please, come inside."
"Listen Jon, we really 'preciate what yer doin' for us an' all. Hope we aint inturptin' anything important." They were led into a barely furnished room and sat on some neutral colored couches. The couple sat on a sofa while Jonathan sat on a squared chair across from stripped their jackets off and let them lay on the sofa's arms.
Ellis pulled out his cell phone and turned it on silent before dropping it in the pocket of his coat again.
"I always have time for my childhood friends, Ellis. And you must be the 'Nick' I have been hearing about over the years." He latched his cold gaze to Nick's skeptical one.
Nick's surprise was well hidden. He knew Jonathan must know that he doesn't know about El's and his telephone calls. He was just rubbing it in and god did it piss him off. He didn't like this guy, but if it again weren't for Ellis he would have just left. He would have never even made this trip.
"Mm, and you must be the 'Jonathan' I have neverheard about." Nick pointed the comment at Ellis, smirking triumphantly when El bit his lip ashamedly.
Jonathan lent back in his seat. "Yes well, maybe you haven't heard of me for some significant reason or another. I couldn't imagine having to live with someone who makes you hide important parts of your life. I mean…if you can not trust your own partner than who can you trust?"
Nick's teeth ground together making his jaw stiff. He could feel the warm hand of his boyfriend on his knee.
He wrenched it off, but kept his mouth shut.
"Sorry Jon, maybe s'best if we get started." Ellis had offered, looking at the gambler and their therapist. Mr. Keeney nodded and cleared his throat.
"Lets start with my own assumptions about both of your rolls in this whole tedious fighting." He turned his head to the both of them eyebrows raised and looking for any objection.
The blonde only smiled and bobbed his head in agreement. The con man presented him only his profile.
"Here is the first theory for you, child," He faced Ellis with a sincere expression. Though it was missing something even a professional facial expression reader couldn't figure out. It made Nick chilled.
The youngest of the three perked up, excited to hear what it could be.
"Ellis from the age of ten you have been troubled. Your father had been monstrous to you and now without that fear or feeling that your father had brought on you had a hole in your life. You need someone to comply to. You need someone to take advantage of you and make you feel like your father did. Or else it would make you confused. My poor child, you just feel that you deserve a pain that your father had made so regular that it had become a monotonous comfort for you." It was all gushed at Nick.
All of it directed toward him and not only that, but looking at Ellis' fallen and faulted face he became aware that he was creating a new found self loathing in the hurt boy. He was going to make everything worst.
"I do not take advantage of him. You're just playing with his idiotic mind." Nick snipped at the doctor. He still didn't know why he kept up his 'I don't care about Ellis' façade though. He could have easily shoved it up the other guy's ass that Ellis didn't choose or want any of this.
So instead he made it seem like he himself was being insulted. Jonathan gave Nick a dark sneer.
"Oh no? You do not care for him, yet you stay with him. You must be getting something out of this relationship and considering your occupationit must be easy to obtain." They both looked at Nick now. He took back the wish of having the heater on.
Nick didn't reply, keeping a silent battle with Jonathan. He may have been silent, but the icy eyed man across from him started his mouth again.
"Let me guess. Daddy went out gambling every night. Little Nicky caught him in bed with another lady and didn't know why. Mommy killed herself with a bottle of pills and some Jack and soon after Daddy had started leaving Nicky alone at home to fend for his little helpless and pitiful self."
Ellis had never once witnessed Nick become so red in the face with a hot fury as he did right at that moment. He didn't even get a chance to ponder over what Nick would do next.
"Fuck you, you nerdy shit. I bet kids kicked your ass in school because of how much of a freak you are. And I bet Ellis was the only dumbass to take you in with open fucking arms! " Nick stood from his seat and shouted to the other unfazed man. Jonathan casually crossed his ankle over his knee and chuckled. He was amused by Nick's pathetic outburst.
"Last time I had checked I was the one doing the assumptions. And by this little…tantrum I would guess I'm correct."
Ellis wrapped his hand around Nick's arm, trying to ease him down. Nick growled and forcibly pulled his wrist away.
He started toward the door. His lover's blue eyes grew frantic and he too started getting up. Jonathan only shook his head. Instead he was the one to stand and before Nick could reach the door he spoke.
"You fight with Ellis to have an excuse to leave him."
And to the boy's surprise Nick had frozen in mid pose. He turned back to the doctor with an expression that Ellis had never seen. One of undeniable shock that had enlarged his eyes and kept his mouth hanging from his joints.
Jonathan's smirk grew and his eyes turned dark.
"You fight with Ellis, because one of these arguments has to be the one where you would prove to yourself that he is just as bad as everyone, but your cowardly guilt keeps you with him. Your relationship is not out of love, but more of an experiment of some sort to see if someone can love you without having a negative intention."
Ellis was now walking toward Nick, heart on his sleeve. The bewildered look had drawn into a forced confident visage for his approaching heart ached boyfriend.
"Nick…" His name wasn't intended to question if he had an answer. It was a question of why he didn't.
"I can leave Ellis without making him into something he's not," He turned without hesitation, opened the door and with out looking back ended his statement.
"I'll show you."
And even though he closed the door, he knew that shadow that covers the all the flakes of happiness in those sweet eyes was now blanketing his whole face.
Nick didn't feel the blistering cold anymore now that he had been walking for so long. He didn't know where he would be going, just somewhere far away from bumping into Ellis.
He needed money to get a separate motel. His chest was clenched painfully and as much as he wanted to just leave and go home, he had to start looking toward his new life. A life without Ellis.
He didn't remember what it felt like to be lonely again. It didn't feel as good as when he had El next to him, talking, looking at him, relating to him, wanting to be with him.
A pain coursed through his chest then to his ears and he rushed into the blinking lights of a pub.
No one paid any attention to him thankfully. He sat down on the bar stool and pulled out his wallet. He had only ten dollars, enough for one drink.
The conversational voices around him seemed to subdue as the TV in the corner of the room turned up louder. Everyone's head turns in the direction of the newswoman outside of an insane asylum.
The police have been on the search for The Scarecrow, or Jonathan Crane, since this past Sunday when he had escaped during his rec time at Arkham Asylum. This man has had numerous amounts of homicides and single murders on his account. Please do not approach Scarecrow…
The cup that Nick had picked up dropped only an inch above the table, earning a subtle clang of the glass. Only a few men had looked at him. The same iced blue stare that he had seen tonight was now being shown on the television.
The same man who had been El's childhood friend was now being shown in a burlap mask. The eyes now gleaming with hatred instead of a mocking mischievous glint from earlier.
That same man he had left Ellis alone with.
His heart beat furiously with a pang of fear that had also made his face go pale. His trembling hands slowly curled into locked fists.
He ran out of the bar and into the streets sprinting as fast as he could, cursing to himself for leaving Ellis alone. He should have never played into his game and fall into Scarecrow's trap. He wanted Nick to leave.
He flipped out his phone as he ran, the icy wind cutting his face.
He speed dialed his lover's number and waited. On the third ring he heard a click.
"Ellis! Get the fuck out of there right now! Its-Its Scarecrow! J-Jonathan's a murderer, please get out of-"
A horrid and disturbing laugh had graded him off and made him slow to a stop.
"Oh Nick…so predictable. I'll make sure he gets your message though. Loud and clear."
The dial tone had met his angered screams and panted out breaths. He snarled in anger and pocketed his phone, running only faster.
He slammed the entrance door open rushing up the stairs then the elevator.
He pushed the door open to the sixth floor and flew through the opening, his heart beating slurred in his ears. He pounded on the door, the same door that had locked his lover's fate. The same door he had closed himself to separate him from his helpless boyfriend.
Using his shoulder, he twisted his torso, keeping his legs forward, but his shoulder turned he forced himself at the door. It opened on the first try and he went stumbling in, but catching himself before he could fall.
The room was dark, the dim light from the hallway lighting it pathetically. He didn't bother with a switch instead calling for his name.
"Ellis?! Ellis?! Please God say something to me Kiddo!?" His voice received no answer, only the wind's whistling from an open window.
He started toward the kitchen first.
Then he was thrown off course by a gigantic mass of black knocking him to the floor and pinning its weight onto his legs and arms making him immobile.
Nick roared and thrashed, cussing at the thing on top of him with angered pleas.
"Do you work for Crane?" His graveled voice was deep and sucked any other sound like a vacuum.
"Fuck no! That sick piece of shit has my fucking Ellis!" Batman's frown had deepened. Nick could see the white eyes inspecting him doubtfully. He snorted and tried flailing underneath the strong hold, but held no avail.
"God damn it you fucking moron! HE NEEDS ME!" Nick's tone had screeched and cracked as finally he started racking in sobs.
Batman reluctantly stood up reaching down to help, but Nick just curled on the ground shaking with tears and loud cries that made the crusader sigh sympathetically.
His sobs were interrupted with choked out words. "…I-I-I sho-should-shouldn't…. have l-e-left him…" He only wailed louder.
"Robin have you found any trace of Crane?" The Bat's demanding growl had penetrated Nick's hearing. There was a moment of silence then he heard him talk again. "No trail here either. I need you to come meet me. I have someone needing to be delivered to Gordon."
Nick slowly gathered to his feet, wiping at the tears angrily and swallowing the mucus that had formed a lump in his throat. He winced slightly at the ache his scratched throat had. He faced Batman with a protesting glare.
"I'm not being 'delivered' anywhere. I'm going to help find him." He wasted no time to move around the vigilante and start his search.
He yelped in surprise when he was thrown against the wall.
"This place could be booby-trapped with fear gas. You. Will. Not. Move!" Each syllable was spat out fastidiously.
"Piss off! Chances are better if I help! And no way in hell am I letting you make any decisions regarding my fucking boyfriend!" His neck stretched out, small pulsing veins showing themselves as they pumped more blood into his reddened face.
"No. You're leaving now." Batman grabbed his collar and flipped him around, just as quickly pulling his arms behind his back and cuffing them.
A new string of obscenities started to spew out of the gambler's mouth at the Crusader as he was dragged away from the room and down the hall. Batman didn't turn toward the stairs instead making it easier to make his escape as narrow as possible by using the lift.
He was shoved into the elevator, his back hitting the wall with a thud. He watched Batman press the first floor and listened to the ding of the elevator. He snorted and shook his head to himself.
"They were friends when they were younger. I always knew the kid's kindness…" He didn't finish, a hiccupped weep breaking the silence.
The Bat stood straighter and didn't look at him. "We'll find him." The doors opened and the cold air had greeted Nick's quaking body.
Nick gave him an empty look. "Do you ever find his victims alive...?" The question held its purpose of extracting the hope out of the both of them.
Batman said nothing. He had lightly handled the man outside, the cold was now a distant feeling for both of them.
Nick kept his eyes on the ground, his hands being unlocked from the handcuffs behind his back making him feel like a criminal. He didn't even rub the welts on his wrists. The pain hadn't even made an appearance to his nerves.
He was a criminal and he neglected his family. He smiled though. Jonathan was wrong. Ellis wasn't his experiment, he was his family.
He turned his head and looked at the apartment building. He counted the seven windows wondering if this would be the last building that the pained blue eyes will ever see. He always had thought that they would die together in their home. Nick should have been there. He shouldn't have left.
Seven stories.
Six buttons in the lift.
He stopped moving, using his ankles to keep him anchored. "Wait."
Batman actually stopped, giving him a stoic and waiting stare.
"There are seven stories…Why would there be seven stories when there are only six buttons in the elevator?" He could hear Batman's subtle gasp that was barely held and he knew that he had figured something out.
And then the two were both sprinting to the building again. Nick ran into the entrance while Batman used his grapple hook to jolt him in the air and to crouch on a random windowsill.
Batman started looking through each and every one of the windows with his thermal vision implanted in his suit. He could see few people in there beds after the first few he had begun to think it was a mistake or coincidence.
The last window proved him wrong when he saw two figures, one familiarly shaped and masked.
He flew in an explosion of glass and wood, soaring through the air and tackling Scarecrow to the floor. He delivered blow after blow once he had torn the mask off of his face, making sure to hold the psycho's wrists to the floor to avoid getting gassed.
Scarecrow coughed a spot of blood then his swollen eyes blinked shut.
He lifted his chin and saw the man he had found holding tightly to an unconscious boy. The man had his face buried in the younger one's neck whispering apologies and small moans of sadness.
Batman started patting down Scarecrow's coat until he could feel a tube-like object in his outerwear's pocket. He pulled it out and read the syringe's label.
Ether
"He's not dead. Just unconscious." Batman had reassured the gambler.
Nick lifted his head and sniffed, cradling the boy's limp one in his hand. He thought he would not have had another sacred moment to look at his gorgeous face ever again. He was so scared that he would never be able to wake up to him or even have an opportunity to hold him.
Nick sniffed and nodded his head, pulling Ellis' chest to his, his neck falling with his bones protruding and Adams apple more defined.
Fatigued, honeyed blue eyes lightly swayed open and closed. There was a soft groan and finally the blond started moving on his own. Nick didn't let him go even after he was fully cognizant of his surroundings.
"Nick? You're he-here? What…" He trailed off once he had caught the lifeless body on the floor. Then he jerked in Nick's arms and tried to scramble away.
The older one held tight though, he inhaled abruptly.
"I never want to leave you again and I do care about you and I love you! God I love you so fucking much! You're not an experiment and you're not someone who I want to toy with! I love it when you worry about me and I hate it when I hurt you and I hate everyone who hurts or has ever hurt you! I am such a shitty boyfriend and God I cant even stop thinking of how fucking dumb I was running away from you! I need you more than anything..."
He was blubbering out his words so the inhabitants of the room could only make out a few distinct words that gave the gist of what he was trying to push through. It was enough for Ellis though.
They were still kissing even when Robin had been ordered to take Scarecrow to Arkham.