Saving Me
Disclaimer: you know the drill: I DO NOT own InuYasha or Kelly Clarkson's music nor will I ever, so stop bugging me! Also, this will be the disclaimer for the entire story, so don't remind me. I will never own my favorite anime/manga or my favorite singer's music, nor will I ever. Happy?
This is my second story. It will have a few chapters but it will also be part songfic, so enjoy. NOTE: It will be done mostly in Sango's POV unless stated otherwise
Chapter 1: Because of you
I heard the crunch of gravel outside. I shuddered.
Great. He was back.
I was tempted to escape through the backdoor and go to Inuyasha's house, but I knew I'd only get in bigger trouble if I did. And I certainly could not go to school with twice as many cuts and bruises as usual. Too suspicious. I didn't want the school snooping around where they didn't belong. I didn't need that. Not that they would, anyway. They wouldn't even notice if I went to school with my hair soaked in blood.
The only one who actually tries is the vice principle, Sesshomaru, who just happens to be Inuyasha's brother. He's always trying to get any information about me out of Inuyasha. Things like why I act the way I do, how my father acts, why I'm always injured and things like that. Inuyasha never tells him anything. I'm grateful. He never really believed Sesshomaru was trying to help. Neither did I. I wanted to trust him. But I can't. I just can't. The only one worth trusting is my brother Inuyasha.
He's not my biological brother, but he takes care of my like I'm his little sister, so I guess, in a way, that does make him my brother. He's met my father. Briefly. And he didn't trust my father right off the bat. Maybe he could sense my father was ad because he was a hanyou. Or maybe it's his instincts. I don't know.
But I do know I'm in for a rough night.
/I will not make
The same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery/
I didn't want to end up like him. I didn't. I couldn't. I had promised myself long ago, when he first came home drunk, just before the first beating, that I would never drink. So far, I've been true to my promise.
/I will not break
The way you did, you fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far/
Before he even opens the door I know he's been drinking. I can hear him slam into door before he opens it. I hear the clack of the key smashing around the lock before it finally goes in. There's a click and the door swings open. He staggers in, clutching the doorframe and walls and anything else he can reach for support. He hardly glances at me. Instead he stumbles into the kitchen.
My dread intensifies.
I look towards the front door. He left it wide open; he also left the keys in the keyhole. I wonder if I have enough time to flee, and as I pull myself off my seat on the floor in the corner he comes back out.
He's holding a knife.
I want to run. But my past years of experience have taught me that that only made things worse. If I ran and he caught me, I would be as good as dead. So instead I force myself to stop and I turn slowly to face him.
His eyes are bloodshot and wild. He staggered towards with the knife in hand. I shivered and found myself taking a step back. The closer he came, the more I backed away. We kept this little "game" up until he had cornered me against the wall.
He towered over me, a foul grin plastered on his face. The scent of beer rolled off of him in waves and I drew back, pressing as far into the corner as possible. He reached out and grabbed a handful of my hair with his free hand and wrenched it upward. I yelped. His grin grew wider, and he shook his hand a few times. The pain exploded in my head and my world began to spin. Not even the first hit and already I was about to faint. Damn. He really had that much power over me.
/Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt/
I've always tried to behave. I always did my best to behave so he wouldn't beat me. I just wanted it to go back to how it used to be before the "accident."
/Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you, I am afraid/
It's his fault I'm always afraid, and he likes it. He likes having that power over me. All of these beatings have broken me and made it hard to trust everyone—even myself.
I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes/
I shut my eyes tightly and counted to ten, blinking away the tears before looking back up at him
/I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with/
I was tired of pretending. I wanted it to end. In fact, I hope he kills me tonight.
/Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt/
/Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you, I am afraid/
/I watched you die, I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young, you should have known
Better than to lean on me/
/You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain/
I hate him. I hate him so much. He expects me to feel sorry for him whenever he starts crying. He knows I can hear him and he wants me to feel sorry. But he has to learn something: I was in that car crash too. I suffered just as much as he did, and he wasn't even there. I saw my mom and little brother die in that crash, and he thinks I should feel sorry for him?
/Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt/
/Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in/
/Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you, I am afraid/
/Because of you
Because of you/
He brought the knife down on my arm one more time before letting it drop to floor. He held me up by my hair and growled, "You're not afraid anymore, are you?" He shook me. "You will be afraid." He let go of my hair and stumbled away into his downstairs room. I waited for a solid ten minutes before climbing up the stairs into my attic room.
I dropped onto my bed and winced at the pain of my wounds. I turned over onto my stomach and reached into slit of my old mattress. I dug around until I found my cell phone. Inuyasha and few of our other friends had bought for my on my fifteenth birthday. I was shocked, to say the least. The first thing I did when I got it was cut a slit in my mattress to hide it in. I never had the ringer on; it was always on vibrate.
I was tempted to called Inuyasha and tell him what happened, but I resisted. Slipping the phone back into its hiding place, I sighed and clutched the edges of the mattress.
Chapter 2: Behind these hazel eyes
School.
I used to love it. But now I hate it.
I hate the way students all gawk at me like I'm some kind of animal on display at the zoo. I hate all the teachers. They're always asking me how I'm feeling or if I'm okay. A few times when I'm not feeling well or I fall asleep in class they ask if I want to go to the nurse. I always refuse. I told Inuyasha about it once, and he freaked out on Sesshomaru. He later told me that Sesshomaru might have shared some of his beliefs that I'm abused with some of my teachers. That only made me less trustful.
I feel everyone's eyes on me as soon as I step into the hall. It makes me uncomfortable. I pull my sweater tighter around me and tug my hood down over my eyes. Holding my backpack tightly, I sped up and darted towards my locker, ignoring the pain that flooded my veins form last night's beating. I twisted in the combination and opened my locker.
When I had gotten what I needed, I jerked in surprise when I saw Inuyasha standing there, leaning against the lockers with his arms crossed over his chest. "I-Inuyasha…!" I stammered.
"I smell blood."
"It's nothing."
"And fear." He put his hands on my shoulders shook me very gently. "Did he beat you?"
I flinched, and he loosened his grip.
"Did he?"
"…Yeah…"
"Come on." He led me down the hall and pulled me into an empty classroom and shut the door. Locking it, he asked, "What happened?"
I told him.
"That ass-hole," Inuyasha growled. "I never liked him." He looked at me sharply. "You should've called me. I would've come and take you to my house. My mom wouldn't have minded."
"I'm fine. It was nothing."
"Liar."
I should've said something. But what could I say? The bell rang and Inuyasha sighed. "I'll talk to you later, okay? Be careful. Now let's get to class." He unlocked the door and held it open for me. I mumbled my thanks and shuffled to my class. Inuyasha headed off in the opposite direction.
"You're late, Miss Taijiya," the teacher said as soon as I entered the classroom. "Again."
"I know." I made my way over to my desk in the farthest, darkest corner in the class. I snapped open my binder and slipped out my sketchbook. I took out a pencil and began to sketch. Sometime during class my eyes wandered up and I found myself staring a Bankotsu, my ex- and his new girlfriend.
I sighed.
/Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely holding on/
We used to date, back when the abuse had first started. We had been close. And he was really nice. He didn't know about the abuse though. Only Inuyasha knew, and I made him swear not to tell—and there was Sesshomaru, with his suspicions, but he couldn't prove anything.
/Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes/
Everything was fine at first. But things were changing. Slowly, but surely.