Young Souls
Disclaimer I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.
There it was again the muffled sound of someone crying. He stood perfectly still trying to gauge where the sound could be coming from. This was his place his spot in this unforgiving city. He'd *doss here for the night. He was not used to hearing someone crying, the gangs he moved with where street wise and super tough. Their *street cred was obvious. To show fear could end in your being seriously hurt. They were the forgotten kids who had vanished into the night because of a million different reasons: Dad's who drank too much and were violent; mums who were the bourbon mums who wanted the next can or fag to get away from the responsibilities of being a good parent, not caring for their children, some only babies. The kids he knew moved in gangs for protection from others who would only do them harm. The predators came in all shapes and sizes. With different ideas of how to get what they wanted from their targeted victims, those children who nobody wanted or cared for.
He had been orphaned when his mother had thrown herself off this very same bridge two long sad years ago. Doctors had called it depression but why would you do that and just leave a ten year old and not care? He had struggled in the government run institutions and had never had the opportunity to be placed in foster care. He was considered too old and so he had finally taken to run away.
Sully, who was a loner rather than moving with gangs, was now under the bridge he called home, ready to settle for the night. His immediate friends were Cloud Dancing known to friends as CD, Hank, Jake and Robert E. Jake was not coping and would score a bottle of dregs in the local park, often to drunk on stale whisky to care. Tonight though he had come here to rest and get away from the continual struggle of survival.
Whoever was crying was really upset and didn't want to be heard since the sound was muffled as if they were crying into their sleeves.
Silently he moved forward to investigate who the sad person could be. He gingerly pulled the cardboard box back to see hair the like of which he had never before seen in his entire life. Even in the dull light from the lamp down near the overhang he saw that it was amber in colour and long, longer even than Hanks *dreadies. It had a shimmer to it unlike the limp lifeless hair the kids around here usually had. It was even longer than his own shoulder length waves.
Because it curtained the face and body of the girl he was staring at, he wanted to touch it. Scared that he may frighten her he refrained. The sobbing continued and he felt impelled to sit down beside her and hold her.
"Can I help ya?" he asked quietly.
The sobbing, followed by hic cups, stopped just for a brief moment, before it commenced again.
Sitting he placed his hand on her back. She shrugged it off and slid a short distance from him.
"Go away, nobody can help," she sniffed, still crying.
"I'd like to try," he offered sliding towards her again placing his hand on her back. This time she didn't try and move just continued on weeping.
Sully had seen a lot of sadness in his young years but hearing this girl crying as if her heart was broken made him want to help her more than anything he'd done in his life before. He knew what ever was upsetting her must have been big.
"Nobody could possibly have that amount of tears," he thought.
Eventually she slowed down but through exhaustion not because her sadness was gone. She began to lean into him and eventually he placed his arm around her shoulders. Finally her head was on his shoulder, and she was just hic cupping occasionally.
As he held her the more he wanted to protect her. Eventually through sheer tiredness she slid down, placing her head on his lap seemingly going to sleep. When he was certain she had drifted off he leant over and pulled the tattered blanket over and covered her with it, trying to offer her some warmth from the thread bare cover.
He had not been aware that he had been gently rubbing her back as she settled. Suddenly becoming aware of this involuntary action he stopped but she moved as if she may stir and wake so he commenced again. Eventually sure she was asleep he gently swept her hair from her face. It was wet and matted where her tears had soaked into the long tresses.
She looked so small...Her skin was like cream and her cheeks pink from crying. The long eye lashes that lay on her cheeks were the same colour as her hair from what he could see in the dull light.
Her clothes looked expensive. "Nothing like the street kids wore, that was for sure," he thought. She wore colours so she wasn't a Goth, all dressed in black and dark makeup and finger nails and listening to Goth Rock. She didn't appear to be an Emo either because she wasn't wearing the coloured converse canvas shoes or some of the florescent garb they wore. Sully knew that some Emos cut themselves for attention, but he was sure she wasn't that either. He was truly curious about this girl; a lot of questions were running through his mind as he looked at her.
The need to protect her was growing stronger as Sully gazed at her sleeping form. He thought it was her fatigue that had allowed her to trust him. Even with her head settled on his lap he could smell the fragrant scent of her hair.
Finally he leant his back on the cold cement wall of their hiding place under New York's Brooklyn Bridge which had been his unofficial home for some time now. His few possessions were still in the crevice above them for which he was grateful. Luckily the weather was warm and he was seated on cardboard that was stopping some of the cold seeping through to him from the dank cement floor. Slowly, even without being aware of it, he drifted off to sleep as well, his hand remaining connected to her throughout the night. He didn't fall into a deep sleep rather but a catnap doze. He'd learnt over the years that he had always to be aware of his surroundings, while awake and certainly while asleep for any approaching danger.
As it lightened in the eastern sky he roused from his slumber. He had dreamt that he was nursing a young girl and it had been an amazing feeling. He was surprised when he became aware it was not a dream but actually a reality.
Thankfully Jake, Hank, Robert E and CD had not come back during the night, Sully suspected the girl would have been uncomfortable and possibly run away before he could help her. He knew the gutter thoughts that would not have stopped Hank assuming this girl was easy pickings. However his leg now had pins and needles in it because he'd not moved it, afraid of waking her up. So he slowly began rotating his feet to bring them back to life. The girl moaned at this movement for it caused the large muscle in his thigh to move as well. Stopping quickly so as not to wake her he waited, not realizing he was holding his breath.
Suddenly her head shot up and she looked into his eyes for a fraction of a second. Jumping up she ran a few paces but turned around when Sully yelled, "Don't go! I won't hurt you."
"Who are you? What am I doing here?" she asked, her eyes darting around her unfamiliar surroundings.
"I'm Sully. I found ya here crying last night when I came in to sleep," he replied frightened at her wild gaze as if she remembered nothing. He had seen kids lost before, some due to taking stuff but he felt she was truly lost. "Don' ya remember?"
The blank expression told Sully he was right as she dissolved into tears once again. Hardly hearing her whisper, "No." Then she just crumpled into a heap on the grimy floor.
Swiftly Sully was kneeling at her side again rubbing her back as he had done the night before. That seemed to calm her, and he assured with conviction, "I'll help ya."
Finally she stopped sniffing and looked back up at him with shimmering eyes full of unshed tears. She whispered, "Thanks."
Still gently stroking her back he was racking his brain wondering what he could do. If she had a...mn...esia or whatever it was called and was lost in New York then this could be a major problem. He was accustomed to the sprawl of this merciless city but someone who was lost could become even more afraid. He knew the pit falls that kids faced and the predators lurking around like a bunch of bobcats waiting for a meal as soon as, someone made a false move.
All of a sudden the first priority arose as her stomach growled loudly. "Ya hungry?" he asked quietly.
Looking up and straight into his eyes she was overcome by the pure colour blue they were while he suddenly was aware that hers were two shades of colour. As if trapped by the intense gaze they couldn't look away, they felt lost as if in a pool of dark water. Suddenly her stomach growled again and the connection was broken.
He began to stand but she grabbed his shirt as if she was afraid he would leave her, her eyes pleading with him not to go.
"It's okay, I am not goin' to leave ya," he reassured her offering her his hand to take and helping her stand. She nodded her understanding, as he gently pulled her along under the struts that held the bridge up.
They walked out into the hazy morning air with the sun struggling to appear. There was a slight nip in the air and Sully felt her shiver a little as she was still gripping his hand. He was, unsure if she would let him put his arm around her. Finally he took the chance and circled her shoulders with his arm. Looking at her he asked, "This all right?" and was pleased when she nodded her assurance, snuggling closer for the warmth his body offered.
Walking slowly over the bridge he took them to the back of the nearest Bakery. The owner Mr Bray knew him and his mates and had decided some time ago to offer them the bread that was unsold from the day before when they turned up. Loren never let anyone know that he baked extra for them anyway. The odd assortment could be anything from cheese and bacon frittata to iced cinnamon buns or occasionally jam cream donuts. The girl looked wide eyed at what was offered as Sully guided her to a bench in a local common area.
Offering her first choice from the bag he watched in awe as she scoffed the whole lot in a few gulps. Suddenly she ran off to a flower bed and nearly vomited the lot. He was sure she was not bulimic, so when she came back he said, "Eat slowly." He understood she must not have eaten for some time. They had all experienced this when their stomachs had not digested much for some time.
Nodding she took a sweet bun and began nibbling at it. He offered her a bottle of water to assist it slide down. Looking at him she shyly said, "Sorry."
"No worries, do you know ya name?" he asked wondering if this was the time he should be probing any details from her, having come to the conclusion he had to call her something.
Tears began once again to fill her eyes, and she shook her head as she looked away trying to hide being upset.
"Look, it's okay if ya don' want to tell me," he said now sorry that he had made her sad again.
"It's not that," she said, "it's the fact that I do not know."
"Do ya remember anything?"
Shaking her head no she explained she had fallen and bumped her head. Gingerly she moved her hair so he saw a dark bruise beginning to change colour on the side of her head. He had not observed this during their short time together. Knowing how bruises changed he knew it was at least a couple of days old. If she had not eaten since then no wonder she was starving, and had reacted as she had just a short time ago. Now he was even more worried at what had occurred to her since her fall.
"Did anyone hurt ya?" he asked wondering how he would react if she said yes. He was grateful when she shook her head no.
Looking beyond her he saw the rest of the gang coming towards them. "Please don't be afraid, I know these guys." he explained as she slowly turned around to face them.
"What ya got here Sully, a bit of skirt?" Hank leered. Standing behind was Jake who was also staring at the girl. She was dressed well, not like most of the kids on the streets who had more skin showing than was covered. Apart from that their clothes were at least a size too small. Hers were classy, even fashionable at the top end of town. She had no chunky jewellery, another thing the girls they knew wore.
She moved behind Sully but relaxed when CD and Robert E snarled at Hank and Jake. "Let it be, you guys," Robert E said. Not one to let a thing go Hank laughed and asked if she was easy, looking at Sully whom they suspected to be a virgin. This time both Robert E, who did weights at the local gym, and CD joined Sully and began advancing on the other two.
Hank and Jake backed away as they all needed each other in this urban jungle and on more than one occasion they had been a force of nature against the other sub cultures in the city.
Eventually they all sat with Sully and the girl, trying to figure out what needed to be done to help her. As she had no idea of any of her past, were she was from or even her own name it was decided not to attract attention to her and give her a boy's name hence they agreed she would be called Mike. As she said she felt more at home with that than with Lizzie, Becka, or even Marj.
They were afraid of the authorities but were prepared to take her to them if she wanted. As she had no knowledge of why she was separated from her family in the first place she wanted to remain hidden for the time being.
Each was familiar with various parts of the city and workers who frequented the street gang haunts. So each one was going to listen and ask a few questions, hopefully to discover if Mike was on a missing children's list or reported missing. Her whereabouts was to remain a secret for the time being just in case she had made a bolt for it from some major abuses in her home. This was often the case here as Sully had explained, taking her hand and giving it a light squeeze. He hoped this was not the case for Mike, that she had just lost her memory and would soon get it back and be found by loving parents.
...
A month had passed and Mike followed Sully everywhere. She had trusted him from the night he had found her huddled in his *squat under the Bridge that was now her hang out as well. They had become *coupled and Sully was pleased as he felt like her protector. They held hands and slept together and *snogged but he never wanted to go further. She was too important to him to try anything else. Not that it wasn't hard; it was excruciatingly hard for the two of them as they were experiencing feeling they had never had before. They had agreed there may be time at some later date. The warmth they shared as the months became colder was vital to their survival.
Kids on the streets grew up much quicker or so it seemed, their instinct for their very existence was in learning to be street smart, learn the language that was coded to the others. Most packed something but it didn't feel right to Sully; he only carried a whittling knife to protect himself and Mike. He stayed out of trouble, never going into areas known to be trouble spots. He skirted around most places, keeping her safe.
The others had seen and heard nothing of her in their hunt for information. They listened at the centres for the homeless and soup kitchens and the underground but it was as if nobody was interested in the lost girl.
Mike was slowly going into a depression that totally spun Sully out. He didn't want her to be sad. He had seen this before and his feelings for Mike were strong. He was so afraid he'd lose her just like he'd lost his mother. But he realized she had to do this on her own and all he could offer was support and be there when she needed to talk or cry.
They met Hank and Jake's girls on occasions, Myra and Sadie. Mike was amazed at how they dressed, showing bits that she was too embarrassed to reveal even to Sully. They had big hoop earrings and chunky necklaces but still she was shy speaking to them. Sully had told her how some kids survived by street walking and she looked at Myra and Sadie and wondered, if Hank wasn't a pimp.
AIDS and VD were rife amongst some of the kids, and they had trouble getting the meds they needed due to the fact they did not have insurance. Free services were stretched to the limit at the best of times. This troubled Mike. Her language spoke of class like she had an education not the urban dialect of these kids. Hank had made fun of her but backed off when once again the others stood together.
CD told stories of how his people were treated since the whites arrived. He was not bitter as Mike would have imagined but he was truthful about how he missed family and how his life on the reservation with drunken parents was hell. The later had been the reason that he had come to the city.
Robert E's story was much the same. His dad had been shot in a gang land feud and his mum had died from an over dose. His younger brothers and sisters were hauled away by the state but he had escaped and vowed he'd find them some time. He explained he ran with a gang for awhile but he quickly realised that it was dead end. They were all so focused on fighting other ethnic gangs he saw no point in it and had found his mates Sully and CD.
Sully told about his dad dying in a wharf accident when a crane collapsed. Then his brother had died falling off a train while drawing on it and his mother had never coped after that. Sully sadly pointed out the *tags that his brother had done in the millions of street art littering the places they went. Some was nice like real pictures but a lot was a mess that was not pleasing at all. Mike felt she was in some kind of dream as she was sure she had not witnessed any of this before.
...
They survived the winter with hand outs from a church run by reverend Tim Johnson. They had dubbed him Jonno and he had ensured they had some warmth. They burned anything they could scrounge in the fuel drums they had. Luckily it hadn't been as harsh as the year before. They had doonas and sleeping bags at night and all huddled together to sleep, as being alone could be your death. Mike and Sully cuddled into one another with the others close by.
They stayed away from adults as they felt safer with kids they knew. So the cold months pushed over and spring came to the concrete jungle. Weeds began to flower and the warmer weather brightened the atmosphere and drove away the feeling of loss that many felt occasionally.
Meals were from Mr Bray and soup kitchens. Mike learned from talking to Mr Bray there were over 1,000 soup kitchens and food pantries in New York that still turned away, over 2,500 people every day. That was why he did his little bit to help them. Mike liked statistics and discovered these facts. Sully was surprised that she retained such trivial knowledge but it kept her happy when she could tell him that each year 100,000New Yorkers experienced homelessness, and that every night, over 38,000homeless individuals slept in the New York City shelter system, including more than 16,000children and 8,000 single adults. Thousands more slept on city streets and in other public places.
Sully saw in Mike a crusader as she was outraged because the figures were staggering and that this was occurring in this day and age. "Ya can't save the world Mike."
"I can try."
Sadly he replied, "Ya can't change some people."
...
About six months after Mike found her way to Sully she began to get flash backs. There was the time when she was treating someone's blisters and she said she wanted to be a doctor. Sully was impressed when she tended the big blister on the finger of a new kid Horace. The look on her face suddenly frightened him as he watched her slip away. "What is it?" he asked.
"I think my dad is a doctor," she said as if still unsure of the fact.
"Ya sure?"
"No, it's just a feeling," she insisted seeing the fear rising in her boyfriends eyes.
Sully wasn't convinced though. He suspected she was learning some things about herself.
Walking past a *trannie playing Manfred Mans "The Mighty Quinn" she stopped suddenly and began singing, "Come all without, come all within, you'll not see nothing like the mighty Quinn"
"Mike, what's wrong?" he asked when she got that far away look again.
Slowly she raised her eyes to him and answered, "My name is Quinn, Michaela Quinn and I live in Boston."
Sully was happy and sad all at once. He hugged her in a bear hug and kissed her soundly before placing her on the ground again. "Oh! Mike that's fantastic," he managed to say.
"Is it?" she wondered as the full realization that she may lose the one true friend she ever had dawned on her.
"Aren't ya pleased?" he asked knowing already what she was thinking and trying not to go there in his thoughts himself. Continuing to hold her tightly to him, he looked into the eyes he had been gazing into and fallen in love with. He was trying to stop the sick feeling from rising up from the pit of his stomach and asked. "Mike?"
"Sully, I'm scared," she whispered before her voice choked.
"Me too," he whispered into her hair.
...
The group of kids *scrimped and collected all they could to assist Mike and Sully to catch a bus from New York to Boston. The fares were thirty six dollars each and the trip would take them about four and a half hour with various stops along the route. Mr Bray wished her well and had a small hamper of food prepared for them to eat on the way. The whole gang said their goodbyes under the bridge arches as they did not want to go into the bus terminal. Michaela wished Myra and Sadie all the best. The boys wouldn't be seen dead hugging her so they stood off wishing her well. Hank once again was the exception, moving forward and hugging her winked at Sully waiting for a rise from him.
"For a posh chick ya okay," he offered, again winking at Sully.
"Thank you, Hank," she replied. Knowing that he had contributed more money for their fares than the others, she did not want to guess where that came from.
So Sully and Mike arrived at the bus station nervously looking around for any people ready to pick up young kids truanting from schools or looking like runaways.
Finally they boarded the bus. Mike leant into Sully nervously, both aware that everything was about to change dramatically. Mike did not want to lose her best friend; even in Boston she knew she was a loner considered odd by all the standards at the school her mother insisted she attend. Even her dream to be a doctor like her father was thought very ambitious.
Sully was anxious as he also did not want to lose Mike who had become important to him. She had offered him something positive to hang onto.
He held her as she placed her head on his shoulder, neither wanting the trip to end but knowing that in less than five hours it would. The future was uncertain and offered no consolations for either of them.
"I'll find ya when ya grown up," Sully said not really thinking this would be at all possible. "Follow ya dreams Mike, become the best doctor ya can be, help the people who really need ya." He couldn't continue as he choked up. How was he going to have the courage just to let her go out of his life? He had no idea. But he knew he had to; she was not cut out to be a street kid. He knew that from the first night they had met. He knew that he loved her, older people would not understand the connection he felt for her knowing he would never be able to forget her. She was a part of him now.
"Sully, I don't want to lose you. I owe you so much for all you have done for me. I will never forget you and will come and find you if you don't come for me," she promised, tears threatening to spill over again.
Nervously he laughed. "Oh yeah! Sleeping under a bridge, washing in a toilet hand basin, starving or eating day old food..., Yep, like ya goin' to remember that. I give ya a week back in ya soft bed and we'll all be like a bad dream." But he couldn't go on and looked out the window as the miles sped by.
Michaela entwined their hands together wanting Sully to realize this was as hard for her as for him. That he did matter to her and she was just as afraid that they would be separated as much as he was. Unable to with stand it any longer she wept silently. He only became aware of this when his shirt became damp.
Looking back at her he said, "Sorry I didn't mean that." Feeling tears filling his eyes too, refusing to let them fall, he needed to remain strong for her.
"I know." And she began sobbing more.
At the last stop before Boston they descended the steps of the bus for a stretch. Finding a quiet spot he stopped and turned to her. Pulling her close he kissed her as if there was going to be no tomorrow. He darted out his tongue and caressed hers eagerly. She responded knowing this could be their last opportunity. "I love ya, never forget that," he said breathlessly, not wanting her to ever forget that he did.
"I know and I love you too. Oh Sully, what am I going to do?" she said having thoughts of what it was going to be like without him in her life.
Cupping her chin so she was looking into his eyes he said with as much conviction as he could, "Ya goin' home and ya goin' to become a doctor and live a great life." While his heart was breaking, he knew he had to be strong for her.
All Michaela could do was nod her head, tears threatening to fall again.
Lowering his head he kissed her again until they were interrupted by the horn on the bus, calling all the passengers back aboard. Reluctantly they climbed on for the final leg of their journey.
Reaching their destination Sully and Mike descended the steep steps for the last time after the hiss of the doors opening. Placing their feet on the pavement they locked hands immediately.
"Do ya know where to go?" Sully asked wondering how much she remembered, knowing their time together was fast drawing to an end.
Taking his hand they began walking silently both in worlds of their own. The areas were changing; Sully was stepping into a world that oozed money. The houses were tall and grand, like nothing he had ever seen before. He wondered how she ended up under the bridge in the first place.
It seemed she got separated from her mother on the stairs out of the subway in the early morning crush. She was carried in the throng and fell, hitting her head. She hadn't lost consciousness till later but her mother and she lost sight of each other and she began to run. She hid she didn't remember where and must have lost consciousness. Coming to she couldn't remember anything. She found the bridge and saw people lived there so she hid and that is when he found her.
Finally rounding a corner she stopped and looked at the big impressive brick building over the road. "Is that were ya live?" Sully asked softly whistling.
Whispering she answered, "Yes." Turning she threw herself into his arms once more. Kissing him soundly like this was a good bye kiss. "I love you."
Sully pulled away trying to block out her pleading voice, "Please, don't leave me."
"Mike, what can I do?" he asked taking her hand and walking towards the front door.
Both ascended the steps of the Beacon Hill home and she knocked on the door. Suddenly the door opened and her mother yanked her inside chastising her saying, "Thank goodness where have you been all this time? We have been so worried," looking disdainfully at Sully as she did so. Then she stepped forward and slammed the door in his face. Sadly turning he began walking away, tears now streaming down his face. He looked back at the bay window and saw Mike waving and crying. It was breaking his heart.
Lowering his head, tears still falling unchecked down his cheeks he began walking away when he heard footsteps behind and a gentle hand on his shoulder and a man's voice softly saying, "Wait, son."
The end
A/N I have left it here so that you can decide what happens afterward. Who is the man? What became of them? Did their love survive you have the opportunity to decide.
*doss...sleep on a makeshift bed.
*Street cred... urban credibility.
*Dreadies… Dreadlocks = Rastafarian hairstyle with hair hanging in tight braids.
*Squat… sit on a piece of land.
* coupled...two people joined in a relationship.
*snog...Kiss and caress
*tags... name for graffiti that is someone personal signature.
*trannie...transistor radio.
*scrimp...use sparingly
The dialect was from some research and assistance from my 15 year old grandson. I am surprised that some words we used are still in vogue.
Nearly half of New York City's homeless are children..By Alan Whyte…7 January 2004New York City began the New Year with the largest numbers of men, women and especially children crowding into its shelters since the city began keeping records 20 years ago. According to the city's Department of Homeless Services, the night of January 2 saw 38,222 homeless people forced to turn to the city's municipal shelter system. Another 1,500 or so beds were filled in churches and other private facilities.
Out of this total, at least 16,600 were children, 18 and under. They constitute 43 percent of municipal shelter residents and are by far the largest and fastest-growing segment. This is an increase from 2000, when about 38.5 percent of those living in shelters were children.